When all else fails...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 352
When all else fails...
Life had become pretty disastrous, filled with self loathing and self hatred...and I lived that way for years, even knowing what the answer was, yet always finding reasons why it was easier to remain in that black hole..that all changed in the New Year. It was then that I finally surrendered, that I finally had my fill, that I admitted that Alcohol was and is way more persistent, stronger, and more life controlling than I ever could be. I gave up...I gave up my darkness, guilt filled mornings, lazy and self indulgent life, and started down a new path. Its been 180 days now for me Alcohol free, and it hasn't been easy. It hasn't been all fun, my problems didn't just disappear, I didn't come to love myself. What did happen is I stopped digging myself further into that black hole. I was ready to give Sobriety a real, honest shot, to see if things would change. Things have changed. I am healthier, my bank account is healthier, my thoughts clearer..no more shaking, tremors, self loathing. I sleep honest sleep, and I am more optimistic for the future. If all this could happen within a half year, I am excited about what a year will bring. I lived with alcohol for years and years, it never gave me anything..I am going to keep going on this sober thing, it really does grow on me...thank you Sober Recovery friends for everything you have given me...
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
Hey we have the same "Join Date: Dec 2006" here at SR.
Congrats on 180 days.
Yep, life happens without alcohol, the good the bad and all points in between. But drinking through life sure puts a person in a dark place.
Congrats on 180 days. Yep, life happens without alcohol, the good the bad and all points in between. But drinking through life sure puts a person in a dark place.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
How sweet, Losteverything. A post like this does so much to encourage and inspire folks who have just stumbled on this site - remember when that was us? It also strengthens the resolve of others who have done as you have. Your words come as close as anything to a 'travel brochure' describing your journey and the beauty, the joy, serenity and hope that you have discovered on your way. Congratulations to you.
There is a member here who joined as Lost4Now, very near death due to 16 years of soul sickness and addictions to opiates and alcohol - 1600 mg of oxy and a fifth of vodka daily. Through mindfulness and a will to live that I cannot fathom, she flipped her switch just as you did, and changed her board name to Foundmyself. Would you ever consider a new nickname? Just wondering.
There is a member here who joined as Lost4Now, very near death due to 16 years of soul sickness and addictions to opiates and alcohol - 1600 mg of oxy and a fifth of vodka daily. Through mindfulness and a will to live that I cannot fathom, she flipped her switch just as you did, and changed her board name to Foundmyself. Would you ever consider a new nickname? Just wondering.
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