How close are you to a relapse.......honestly.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Over the years, we have made associations with our drinking - we drank to celebrate, we drank to grieve, we drank when we were disappointed or anxious or afraid. Those associations can be weakened, and every time we choose not to drink in these situations, they get weaker and we get stronger.
The associations can be also be broken, and replaced with a brand new association. After looking at my drinking, it became clear that drinking for me meant losing my marriage, my family, my job, my health. Now there's a bunch of associations for you. The clincher though was to make it a moral association: if I drink, I am at risk for DUI, and I know someone well who lost her husband and six week old baby girl to a drunk driver. This means I am putting myself at risk to put someone like her through a lifetime of grief. I am saying that I have made the association in my mind that drinking = murder.
How close am I to murdering some mother's child? If I look at drinking this way, and I do by choice, I am a long way from drinking. Put a gun to my head, that might do it.
The associations can be also be broken, and replaced with a brand new association. After looking at my drinking, it became clear that drinking for me meant losing my marriage, my family, my job, my health. Now there's a bunch of associations for you. The clincher though was to make it a moral association: if I drink, I am at risk for DUI, and I know someone well who lost her husband and six week old baby girl to a drunk driver. This means I am putting myself at risk to put someone like her through a lifetime of grief. I am saying that I have made the association in my mind that drinking = murder.
How close am I to murdering some mother's child? If I look at drinking this way, and I do by choice, I am a long way from drinking. Put a gun to my head, that might do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Don't judge your future on how you feel today Bruno.
I've worked hard on myself and my recovery - I love my life and I love who I am now...
I've experienced great joy and faced great sadness and tragedy since I've gotten sober...and drinking still is not an option
Everyone can get to this point - there's no secret involved...just commitment, hard work...and a fundamental acceptance of our toxic relationship with alcohol
D
I've worked hard on myself and my recovery - I love my life and I love who I am now...
I've experienced great joy and faced great sadness and tragedy since I've gotten sober...and drinking still is not an option
Everyone can get to this point - there's no secret involved...just commitment, hard work...and a fundamental acceptance of our toxic relationship with alcohol
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by SSIL75 
I'm nowhere near relapse honestly. At the start (almost 2 years ago) when I would be tempted I would remind myself that it was my alcoholic voice. I have absolutely trained myself to ignore that voice. I killed it. I am never tempted to drink now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 181
i am not in the relapse stage at the mo as im still waiting for detox but i make every excuse in the book to have a drink, if i have a good day i will want a drink to celebrate and if iv had a bad day i will have a drink to "destress" but one thing i have absolute confidence in is when i get detox i will never touch the stuff again as i will never wanna put my body or my family through this torture again. i know i will have days when i will want to have a drink but i have been making a video diary of the state of me now and if i ever crave a drink once detoxed i will look back on the videos iv made to show how bad i am when drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by pauladmits
I share the same problem as you do but not everyone here has this problem. We still in our minds associate drinking with activities that we usually use alcohol to enhance or subdue the feelings. Like you are talking about a successful business day and associating drinking with that success. I may be wrong, but based on some of the successful people around this forum, they no longer associate alcohol with anything other than making a situation worse whether it be a bad day or a good day.
When I think of the upcoming football season I instantly think about drinking. My birthday party tonight with people over here, I can't stop thinking about drinking because I associate parties with alcohol and having "fun". I know it seems like I'm getting to some point, but I'm not... because I personally also have no clue how to break that association. I can't even fathom watching college football with out a drink, but now I'm realizing that is the problem.
Anyways, good luck!
When I think of the upcoming football season I instantly think about drinking. My birthday party tonight with people over here, I can't stop thinking about drinking because I associate parties with alcohol and having "fun". I know it seems like I'm getting to some point, but I'm not... because I personally also have no clue how to break that association. I can't even fathom watching college football with out a drink, but now I'm realizing that is the problem.
Anyways, good luck!
I can't begin to understand why you call it football when you predominantly(spelling) use you hands. Your football is like a little boys version of a another sport that I don't understand. Rugby.
I am ofcourse only joking and I totally get where you are coming from.
Our football/soccer season starts here shortly and I don't know how to watch a game without drinking.
At the end of the day we are all here to support each other :-)
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Originally Posted by Bruno1979
Its crazy isn't it?
Our football/soccer season starts here shortly and I don't know how to watch a game without drinking.
Our football/soccer season starts here shortly and I don't know how to watch a game without drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
Who can tell what will come? I have no plans to start drinking again. But if I got terminal cancer and had three months to live, I might put a five gallon keg of gin and tonic mix on tap in my now-unemployed keg fridge, but at that point I would have little to lose.
I have way too much to lose to go back to drinking. I have a great life as long as I put in the time and effort towards having a great life. Alcohol just gets in the way.
I have way too much to lose to go back to drinking. I have a great life as long as I put in the time and effort towards having a great life. Alcohol just gets in the way.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by Bruno1979
Will we ever get over this mindset do you think or is it here to stay?
Afterall we are all addicts. :-/
Bruno.
Afterall we are all addicts. :-/
Bruno.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
for me a relapse starts with stinkin thinkin and ends with a drink. i have been in that mode and by the grace of God, didnt drink. but that dry dunk was a very good lesson of what will happen if i rest in my laurels which is:
To be satisfied with one's past success and to consider further effort unnecessary
To be satisfied with one's past success and to consider further effort unnecessary
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Today i'm not close at all. I'm at a music festival (Summerfest, waiting on Foo Fighters right now) and there's a lot of drinking. The trigger is there but if i was here alone without any supervision (with the husband) i still wouldn't drink. If i was tempted, i'd break it down into five minute increments for a while. If it became too much, i'd leave. Sobriety means more than music to me. A relapse may be waiting for me tomorrow but not today. I will not drink today. Not today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Bathurst, Australia
Posts: 4
It's Friday, that's a good reason for a drink, usually I would be thinking of which pub to grab a cold one or two and trying to organise a couple of the guys to go out for a bit of a hunt which is an excuse for a few more.
So tonight will be Friday night in with the fam, no drinks, maybe I'll cook dinner and put a DVD on, the weekdays haven't been to bad, the weekends are going to be an issue.
Fingers crossed I'm further away from a drink than I was yesterday.
So tonight will be Friday night in with the fam, no drinks, maybe I'll cook dinner and put a DVD on, the weekdays haven't been to bad, the weekends are going to be an issue.
Fingers crossed I'm further away from a drink than I was yesterday.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
Not close at all. I never want to go back to that life style. I have encountered some pretty difficult situations and some joyous ones, over the years, and drinking doesn't come to my mind as a form of celebration or an escape from my problems. Alcohol caused me much grief, shame and difficulties and today, I simply don't drink, and I don't miss it. Today, there is zero change of me relapsing. I have a sober anniversary coming up and I would never do anything to jeopardize that. I have been sober a while now, and to throw that away would be devastating to me. It would feel like a death in the family to me. I have fought so hard and come so far to spoil it by drinking. I've relapsed before, many years ago, and remember the negative feelings all to well. I'm going to do everything I possibly can to never experience it again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
After all, we are all addicts.
It's amazing I bought into that hogwash for so long. Addicts have been escaping addiction since the dawn of addiction. We're talking thousands of years. And here we sit, with the entire planet at our fingertips, all of these choices of programs, all of this support—when you think about it, there's never been a better time to quit.
Addicts quit and stay quit every day. The proof is all over this site.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Like the dream i had of drinking the other night , i know exactly the scenario after the first one , i had 10 years or trying every method i could think of to justfy it differently .
It boils down to indeterminate length blackout (in which i hopefully dont die or kill myself or others) then waking up with a stinking head maybe having pee'd or poo'ed myself and then coping with all the cosequences of the daft drunk actions for example , loosing my wallet , random sex with people i don't know , dabbling in other drugs , drunk in charge of an internet , As well as more damage to my poor body organs ..
As long as i remain mindful of all that lot , i do'nt plan on drinking ever again ...
It boils down to indeterminate length blackout (in which i hopefully dont die or kill myself or others) then waking up with a stinking head maybe having pee'd or poo'ed myself and then coping with all the cosequences of the daft drunk actions for example , loosing my wallet , random sex with people i don't know , dabbling in other drugs , drunk in charge of an internet , As well as more damage to my poor body organs ..
As long as i remain mindful of all that lot , i do'nt plan on drinking ever again ...
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