What made you alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 128
I drank to separate myself from myself and bury whatever I was feeling. I don't know if there's an event per se, I liked how alcohol made me feel from my very first drunk.
There are lots of things I can point to which fell into the category of stuff I was drinking around or stuff I was drinking to numb myself to. But I don't think those things "made" me an alcoholic. I think drinking is an alcoholic's response to those things.
There are lots of things I can point to which fell into the category of stuff I was drinking around or stuff I was drinking to numb myself to. But I don't think those things "made" me an alcoholic. I think drinking is an alcoholic's response to those things.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
I'm pretty convinced that merely drinking vast quantities made me an alcoholic.
I had family emotional trauma, and feelings of inferiority, etc, that alcohol soothed. But ultimately, from college onwards, I had no conception of "responsible" drinking. I prided myself on how much I could put away and remain "apparently" sober. If that guy is having 6 Manhattans, I'll have 7, and walk a straight line out the door. I worked at it like an athlete works at excelling in a sport. My tolerance grew so much that on one ER trip, as I think I mentioned to the skepticism of some on SR, I had a BAC of .4, and I was lucid and walking about. So biochemically and physiologically I built a real solid foundation for addiction, over the course of twenty odd years. Once the hangovers became withdrawal, I knew I was in serious trouble, but I kept it up.
I was just listening to a local news segment that mentioned a priest who always gets the question "why?" (why did this happen to me). He said he had no idea, but that the more important question was "what?"--as in What are we going to *do* about it.
I had family emotional trauma, and feelings of inferiority, etc, that alcohol soothed. But ultimately, from college onwards, I had no conception of "responsible" drinking. I prided myself on how much I could put away and remain "apparently" sober. If that guy is having 6 Manhattans, I'll have 7, and walk a straight line out the door. I worked at it like an athlete works at excelling in a sport. My tolerance grew so much that on one ER trip, as I think I mentioned to the skepticism of some on SR, I had a BAC of .4, and I was lucid and walking about. So biochemically and physiologically I built a real solid foundation for addiction, over the course of twenty odd years. Once the hangovers became withdrawal, I knew I was in serious trouble, but I kept it up.
I was just listening to a local news segment that mentioned a priest who always gets the question "why?" (why did this happen to me). He said he had no idea, but that the more important question was "what?"--as in What are we going to *do* about it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
I moved state and knew noone, then my mother got cancer and died in 8 weeks 
I always wonder if my drinkiing wouldve gotten so bad if these things hadnt happened. I always loved a drink but never alone, just socially. I guess I'll never know and I know there is no going back.
I always wonder if my drinkiing wouldve gotten so bad if these things hadnt happened. I always loved a drink but never alone, just socially. I guess I'll never know and I know there is no going back.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
In the beginning it was to help with shyness & being self-conscious. I was never very comfortable in my own skin. In the end, I was drinking because that's the way I handled everything. There was no particular reason why. I didn't have a bad childhood or some terrible event that haunted me - I just enjoyed getting numb. I still don't know why I thought it was necessary.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
To be honest, boredom.
Pain, I quickly learned not to medicate with alcohol since I'm an emotional drinker and it just makes things worse. Shyness is a bit more of a problem but I can go to a party and be outgoing without being drunk if I force myself to do so.
Waking up in the morning without any idea how to kill the rest of the day is what does it for me.
Pain, I quickly learned not to medicate with alcohol since I'm an emotional drinker and it just makes things worse. Shyness is a bit more of a problem but I can go to a party and be outgoing without being drunk if I force myself to do so.
Waking up in the morning without any idea how to kill the rest of the day is what does it for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 443
Hmmmm, I can definitely pinpoint when it started. Around 53 years ago (give or take a month or two), a little tadpole penetrated an egg...and voila, here I am some 53 years later - an alcoholic, a former alcoholic, in recovery, recovered, a non-drinker...whatever you want to call me. THAT is when it started (probably in RI somewhere).
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 804
Complicated. Genetics....Character flaws-immaturity, self-centeredness. Mental illness-depression and anxiety. Family problems.
What made it much worse? Gastric bypass.
Would it have progressed to such a point without the bypass? I don't think so but I'll never know.
I guess it's water under the bridge. I have to move on and deal with the hand that was dealt to me.
What made it much worse? Gastric bypass.
Would it have progressed to such a point without the bypass? I don't think so but I'll never know.
I guess it's water under the bridge. I have to move on and deal with the hand that was dealt to me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 328
Originally Posted by wheresthefun 
Hmmmm, I can definitely pinpoint when it started. Around 53 years ago (give or take a month or two), a little tadpole penetrated an egg...and voila, here I am some 53 years later - an alcoholic, a former alcoholic, in recovery, recovered, a non-drinker...whatever you want to call me. THAT is when it started (probably in RI somewhere).
K, my emotions may be a little bit swayed by your signature that includes Eeyore, my daughter's ten-year love affair with a stuffed animal.
Contestant
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 7
Hello all! This is my first post. Please allow me to introduce myself: Hello, it's me!
Alcohol answered a few needs for me, I think. My first drink was in my late teens, but 21 is when I started to guzzle. Made me feel grown-up, independent, made me forget my self-consciousness. Over time, it seemed to helped to elevate my mood, which I needed, because I was/am suffering from depression, I'm fairly sure.
I'm also victim of habit and I force myself into cycles of stupid behavior, when I know that I ultimately have control. It's a combination of how alcohol meshes so nicely with my flaws that makes it so easy to keep drinking.
I've spoken enough! Thanks for listening.
Alcohol answered a few needs for me, I think. My first drink was in my late teens, but 21 is when I started to guzzle. Made me feel grown-up, independent, made me forget my self-consciousness. Over time, it seemed to helped to elevate my mood, which I needed, because I was/am suffering from depression, I'm fairly sure.
I'm also victim of habit and I force myself into cycles of stupid behavior, when I know that I ultimately have control. It's a combination of how alcohol meshes so nicely with my flaws that makes it so easy to keep drinking.
I've spoken enough! Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Welcome to SR, Grayscale. :ghug3
I'm not sure whether I drank because I was depressed/stressed, or whether I became depressed/stressed because I drank. I know I was happy when I was drunk, but when it wore off... I was back to square one.
But whether I was depressed before I started drinking at university (I'm not counting the very small number of times when I was 13) I simply don't remember.
I'm sure... no, I know you'll find the help and support you need here.
I'm not sure whether I drank because I was depressed/stressed, or whether I became depressed/stressed because I drank. I know I was happy when I was drunk, but when it wore off... I was back to square one.
But whether I was depressed before I started drinking at university (I'm not counting the very small number of times when I was 13) I simply don't remember.
I'm sure... no, I know you'll find the help and support you need here.
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