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Old 06-27-2012, 05:55 PM   #1 (permalink)

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New here, trying to get myself and my gf clean

My names Jordan and I need advice on getting myself and my girlfriend clean. Here's our situation:
So I'm 25 and she's 24. We both have been drinking and getting high for almost a decade. Right now we're working on getting off of heroin. I'm not bad. I do it anywhere from 1 to 3 or 4 times a week. I'm able to keep a handle on my usage pretty well. It's easier for me to keep somewhat control over it due to my condition. I'm paralyzed from a car wreck that happened in 2005. I broke the 5th vertebrae in my neck leaving me paralyzed from the chest down. I also can't move my fingers so I can't shoot myself up and I won't snort it. So someone else has to do it for me now. The wheelchair doesn't hold me back though. I drive, work, go to school, and everything else that a normal person does.

She on the other hand has a horrible habit. She's a stripper which leaves her with enough money to buy her 50 or 60 stamp bags a day. She splits it with her brother but that still leaves her with her 30+ bags a day habit. She tried subs once at a rehab which didn't really help her because of how high her tolerance is. She found out they only gave her a 16th of one. She's going to try it again but at home this time. Anyone have any advice on how she can go about getting clean w/o being stuck on methadone her entire life.

Also, she lives with her mom and brother. Her brother says he's going to get clean with her. Subs work for him fine but I'm worried about him staying clean and messing her up. He just got a new job and found coworkers that do it. So now if he gets clean he's going to be around people that he knows do dope and he won't quit this job guaranteed.

Anyone have any advice on her getting through withdrawl? She knows there's no way to get through it pain free but she wants to get clean.HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-27-2012, 06:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi and Welcome,

I`m glad you found us.

We can offer support for you as you try to get yourself clean. I don`t have experience with heroin but others will be along who may offer more advice.

It`s not a good idea to plan to get clean with your girlfriend. Honestly, recovery is a very personal journey and I think you will need to focus on yourself and your healing. Your girlfriend will need to seek support for herself if she wants to stop using drugs. You can`t do that for her.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 06-27-2012, 06:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome! I agree with Anna. Getting sober is a solo gig.
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Old 06-27-2012, 06:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome and keep reading the posts here!!!

Recovery is a personal issue, first you can help by not using yourself second if she is serious she will stay and work through the process, it may be rough but staying addicted is rougher in the long run.

She doesn't need to be on methadone but there is suboxene which can be given at a hospital but none the less she has to want this as she wanted her addiction!

Keep posting and reading and I will pray for you guys, God Bless!!!
Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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Old 06-27-2012, 07:40 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome coricivic!

Congratulations for deciding to get clean/sober! I really hope your gf decides to get clean, too, but you probably need to prepare yourself for the possibility that she won't. In the end, the only person we can control is ourselves. It might sound harsh at first, but it can be an emotional roller coaster living with someone in active addiction unless we can practice detachment.

Glad you're here - check out the section on substance abuse, too - lots of support there as well.
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Old 06-28-2012, 12:09 AM   #6 (permalink)

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I've had 2 close friends on heroin. When someone is on heroin they are the only person that can decide to stop. All friends can do is make sure they have support if they decide to stop.

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Old 06-28-2012, 01:20 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hey Coricivic

I'm going to go out on a limb and completely contradict the others. Sure, you have to protect your sobriety, and it you shouldn't let someone else's addiction pull you back in. But I don't think it's a solo gig. At all. In fact, most of us draw strngth from going through it with other people - hell, isn't that why we're here on SR?

My husband and I got clean together, and it was doing it together that gave us strength.

To my knowledge the best way of getting clean without getting stuck on methadone is subs. If the dose doesn't help her then she's going to have to go through the pain, but she knows it's temporary. It sounds like three of you together have decided to change your lives - good luck dude, and let us know how it goes.


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Old 07-05-2012, 12:32 AM   #8 (permalink)

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she did decide to get clean, she just feels trapped. we're making her a sub doctor appointment tomorrow. we've been on and off for 9 years. recovery may be a solo thing for some. for us it's our best bet. i'm not worried about myself getting clean. thats not going to be a problem. i watch people shoot up everyday and barely ever do it.

so you think subs will work for such a large habit? that's what she/we decided is her best bet. her ******* bro is gunna make **** so much harder. that's what i'm worried about. i wanna pack up n move w/ just her away from some of the triggers in her life. but that won't happen because she pays the rent for her/mom/bro. but whatever, gotta start somewhere.

nobody has any advice besides recovery is a solo thing? any advice would be much appreciated. advice on how to get off such a large habit is what i'm really after.

and thank you stillsleeping
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Old 07-05-2012, 01:16 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I love how her brother "found" people - at a new job no less - that do heroin. How does that work exactly? HR takes you around saying "everybody this Joe, the new guy in accounting, Joe, this is everybody". Then he proceeds to have a conversation with his new co-workers about what drugs they do? I'm not buying it.

If her brother really is a problem, cut him out of your life. It sounds like he is to me.

You also said you watch people shoot up every day. How can this be? What kind of position are you in where this is really a daily occurrence? Details please, but rest assured this is no environment for anyone to get clean.
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Old 07-05-2012, 01:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
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No worries

All I know is that once you're through detox, staying off a heavy habit, whatever the drug is, involves changing your life. You can't just stop doing it - you have to replace it with other things, ideally things that don't fit in with using. For some people that's a spiritual thing. For others it's social. I use exercise - I don't mean I just work out, I'm building a life around it, cos I know if I start using again I'll lose it and that's a powerful motivator for me.

If you've both talked and both think the subs are good, then go for it. If it's not the right way, ditch it and try something else. I like the attitude of, screw it, gotta start somewhere - this is a process, not a one-ff solution then done. Might as well make a start, right?

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Old 07-05-2012, 07:15 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I would get myself to NA. I wouldn't focus on anyone but myself. That is what I learned in AA.
Actually, we have no problems - we have opportunities for which we should give thanks... An error we refuse to correct has many lives. It takes courage to face one's own shortcomings and wisdom to do something about them.
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