emeraldeye

hi - I am kind of new to this but i have been a member for a while . I came to SR last year when I started worrying about my own drinking. i was not a heavy drinker but a regular drinker. Also I had convinced myself that my drinking was enabling my husband to drink but in comparison to my husband i was /am a lightweight.

more recently my husbands behavior became completely unpredictable and even scary . i was convinced he had some form of dementia. this behavior occurred around a time of great stress for him. i couldn't watch him like this and i left him for a while . with promises i came back. two weeks ago he admitted his problem to a doctor and was given a medical detox .

my problem now is he is not talking to me - seems depressed and when i probe him to talk, he simply doesn't want to. life has become much more stable but don't know how it will ever be meaningful again. both our social lives revolved around getting together with friends and having a drink. trust me his drinking didn't look out of place - but there's a time and place for everything - which doesn't mean every day. he is a heavy drinker , a secret drinker and most of the time a passive drinker. - i hope and pray that he stays sober - i don't know if he is completely but he seems to be -

As such one of my questions is where do i fit in on SR . thanks

sober4myboys

Are you looking to become sober as well?

Anna

If you are looking for support for yourself to stop drinking, then you're in the right place. There is also a Friends & Families forum on this message board. And, either way, you're welcome to post here in the Newcomers Forum.

emeraldeye

Im not looking to become sober - i have moved from drinking regularly to occasionally. i suppose i made this choice because i saw what was happening to my husband and woke up to myself .

im looking for insight into my husbands nightmare - how to support him to stay sober and what to expect - thanks

MrsKing

The friends and family section is probably the best area on this board for you to discuss concerns about your husbands drinking. It's good you're here, because there is lots of support and many people who are in the same situation as you are.

Lots of us have worried that due to being sober we will miss out on our social lives and lose friends and ultimately worry that through quitting alcohol we will be very lonely, but we have realised that there are so many benefits of being sober that those sort of worries are often unfounded. I have found that most people do not care whether I personally drink or not - at first it was a bit of a surprise, but people get used to it and are often incredibly supportive. Friends who don't want anything more to do with your husband primarily because he has quit alcohol are probably not the right type of friends, anyway, and are probably enjoying the alcohol more than his company.

I hope things get better for you soon. All the best.

2granddaughters

After your husband's detox, did they recommend that he go to AA? That would really help him.

All the best to you both.

Bob R

emeraldeye

I have finally gone to Al-non. nice people, sad stories. the first session i went to was about serenity and i was amazed how many people who have found this serenity through years of attending Al-non, are so protective of keeping a hold of it, even when things are really tough in their day. I guess want i want to say is that i want to find this serenity, and the first lesson in doing this is to find a place in myself where all the hassles become filtered and not let them take me down with them . i will continue to go to al-non when i can, and thanks to all the posts that i have read that gave me this courage ..

Dee74

I'm glad you've found something that helps emeraldeye

D