Hi! I'm new here and looking for support
 

Hi how is everyone doing? I'm new here and trying to make a better life for myself.

I've been addicted to pain killers for the last 3 years now, i started on percoset 5;s and slowly worked my way up. for 2 years it had no effect on my life and even gave me more energy. The past year though has been a downward spiral. Every extra dollar I save goes to buying a pill or heroin. I used to be in college but lost all motivation and messed up my financial aid. I started working as a security guard but just left my job a couple weeks ago because I found it was a huge trigger and I was only getting worse working there. Very boring job and all I ever thought about was getting my drugs when I got home. My family lashes out at me and makes me feel horrible for my problem which only makes me want to use more (and my dad drinks himself stupid every night and is a total a hole when he does). I'm scared to go to meetings because I'm not comfortable talking in person about it just yet and if I go to rehab I'll have to explain to everybody in my life where I'm going. I'm 24 years old and am with the love of my life but I'm so scared that our relationship will fall apart if I keep going on like this. I haven't gone clean for a day in months and I want to hear personal stories from people. Even how to just get through that first day. Like I said I'm unemployed now and living at home, I'd like to not blow my last paycheck friday and actually have a little money saved.

Welcome Tom88. While my DOC was alcohol, we are all facing the same thing, addiction. You know that you have a problem. The next thing that needs to be done? Don't pick up again. I know it sounds easier said than done, but it really is the ONLY step. Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you have too. You can do this, we are all doing this. This place is a great place for support.