MyTimeNow

Hello all

I've felt pretty good up until now...

Woke up not feeling to good and not in the best mindset. Had a few cups of tea, got myself together and then felt really positive.

Now I just feel yuck. I feel sluggish, listless, moody, tired - I really just want to crawl back to bed and sleep until tomorrow. Not really possible with a 3 year old!

I feel fat, my skin still looks rubbish but I've drank so much over the years that I have broken capillaries so I guess that'll never clear up. I'm just on such a downer right now I want to cry!

Please please please somebody give me a kick up the bum!

Just going to have lunch then get out in the garden with DD, even if I just sit like a zombie and watch her play the fresh air might liven me up a bit.

I posted on the Class of June thread how I was going to list all the positive things i'd done this evening before bed. There'll only be one at this rate and that will be that I haven't had a drink. Which is the main thing I know, but a tidy house and a few smiles wouldn't have gone amiss.

Bleugh.

Sorry. Needed to get that out.

Live2Run25

5 days is a great start!! We are going to feel off in the early days of recovery, that's just part of the process. Think of that darling little daughter you have. She'll be so glad to have a mom that cares about her and isn't drunk all the time. My dad was an alcoholic and I didn't know him until I was 22 because he chose it over me. You don't have to do that. You already put it down. Don't pick it up again! Thinking of you!

2granddaughters

Are you going to AA meetings?

How's that for a kick in the bum ??....

All the best.

Bob R

MrsKing

*Kick up the bum*

Hehe, you asked for it!

I hope you start to feel better soon. What you're feeling is completely normal at that stage of recovery, just remember that it does get better and easier as time goes on. Don't focus on the negatives right now (your weight, your skin, etc) but instead focus on the positives - you have made an amazing lifestyle change that is going to benefit your mind and your body in SO many ways. I know it is difficult to not dwell on the things that get us down, but there is a wonderful, sober life awaiting you!

Congrats on your 5 days. Stay strong and keep going. xx

Fandy

a wise woman on these boards once told me that the difference between a bad day and a good day is about 2 days.

you did not have a drink today, you pushed through the craptastic feelings. whatever you are choosing to do, (not everyone goes to AA meetings) baby steps count. be proud of those five days and turn it around with your child.

your skin will improve and so will your mood....i've been there.

Rossy

Giving you a kick up the bum lol Stick with it and you will feel better.

rdytoquit

I felt blah too...and fat, and everything blah.

You will notice each day that is gets better. It's amazing. Once you start to notice the positives it makes it even easier.

Don't give up now cause you feel blah! Stick with it. If I did this, you definitely can! I don't have any kids, or a job right now. So I didn't have anymore motivation than my health.

heath480

Sorry to hear you are struggling today.5days sober is fantastic.Without a doubt your skin will improve.Enjoy playing in the garden with your little one.Hang in there.

FredG

I like it when someone wants things direct - Someone said it earlier in the thread - get yourself out of your shell - get out to see members of a program that you can get some f2f support.

5 days is great - super as a matter of fact. Be good to you. You're having lunch and I'm just getting to the office - 6am here - sun's just coming over the horizen, robins are singing - Gonna be a great day - make yours one too.

CraigA

Remember today you can feel feel all the feelings we did before then ran from them in a bottle. Today feelings afre not permenant, it will pass. Today we can feel and know we will be ok!!! It is normal to have a range of feelings, go to the garden enjoy nature look around outside enjoy life with alcohol we didn't enjoy anything. Enjoy being sober JUST FOR TODAY!!! God Bless you!!!

nonblondechef

Huge success, MTN - congrats!! Our drinking careers have taken a toll on each and every one of us in many ways. We can't expect to be restored overnight so take it easy on yourself. You are a beautiful, "slip resistant soul" and you should be very proud of yourself. 5 days, 5 months, 5 years.....it's all a work in process. Awesome accomplishment - walk on faith and keep up the fantastic work!

LoremIpsum

For what it's worth, drinking has made me fat and given me broken capillaries too. I'm only on day ten, but my body is kind of surprising me. Why aren't I bloated anymore? Why does my skin look clearer all of a sudden? (So much so that two of my workmates commented on it.) It doesn't take that long for your body to start repairing itself.

Also, so what if "stayed sober" is the only thing you did today that you're happy with? It's a really really big thing!

That's what I'm telling myself anyway. I spent the first week crying in the toilets at work, but this week is a bit better. So if we just keep doing it one day at a time it'll just keep getting better, right?

Right?

Anna

It's normal to have ups and downs and to have trouble adjusting to the feelings we are having. Congratulations on your 5 days sober!

duane1

Day 3,4 and 5 are really tough days for me. Hang in there. Your addiction will tell your body anything and everything at this point to get you drinking again. Tell that voice who is in control. Tell it that you are done listening to it and it's lies.

Fandy

how about we kick the bad feelings and booze thoughts to the curb? put a positive spin on today. we did not drink, we looked in the mirror and faced ourselves....so we don't see what we hoped, because the last five days felt sooooo loooong.

It will look different and you will feel better soon.

serious

rough days will pass... they are passing for me too... every minute of sobriety is a win.
5 days is early, but it is a breaking point in a way. i wish you find joy in your sober life, and find it sooner than later.

we are not going to feel great every day, nobody does. but facing these emotions sober is like training for your mind and your soul, your hours or days of feeling "blah" will turn into hours and days of feeling "woo-hoo!"

you've made a great, positive change in your life... be proud of that, it is a commendable accomplishment.

MyTimeNow

Oh wow, what a lot of fantastic positive replies - THANK YOU!

I'm just digesting them all and will try and reply more personally after this one.

Ok... I feel a LOT better. The miracle of the power nap. Lunch didn't go quite as planned my 'darling' daughter decided she didn't want hers. So I tried the usual mummy has the same, first one to eat a piece of pasta - go! Nope. First one to eat this chicken... nope. Then she did something she has never done before and she threw it across the table and onto the floor!!

I made her pick it up, washed her down then sent her to her room where she promptly fell asleep. So I've had a read and slept for half an hour too. I feel refreshed and got what I wanted - just not the way I wanted to go about it.

I seem to have done this every afternoon, had a complete dip in energy where everything just fails - body and mind and I need to sleep. I had lunch in a cafe at the park yesterday with my friend and the children and all of a sudden I realised my brain had gone elsewhere, my thought process had left me and I couldn't string a sentence together!

All part of the ups and downs I guess. I have no desire to drink which is a great thing, I just wish I had more energy. Hopefully things will be brighter tomorrow

Thank you all again xxx

MyTimeNow

That's exactly it, these last 5 days have seemed never ending! I have felt a bit antsy but I haven't been climbing the walls with wanting a drink.

I'm also the sort of person that if I want something I want it now! I've not had a drink where are the results? I want them! Now! Haha I know that is the impossible

I've completely overdosed on carbs too which I hate. Anything I could lay my hands on, you name it, if it was edible I've eaten it. I think that is part of feeling so sluggish as I'm just not used to that. Once I get on top of the diet too I'll feel a whole lot better.

I seem to be one extreme to the other at the moment - I feel soooooooooo tired... I want to run around!... I feel soooooooooo tired...... I can't sleep! and round and round the roundabout goes.

Cinderblock18

So glad you're feeling better! Somedays, it's okay to just feel like crap, and blah, and fat. I've had my share of those days for sure. It's just important that those days aren't often, and you pick yourself back up, just like you did! I have a 3 year old too! I love cracking up at all the funny things he says. I'm so happy I'm sober to be able to be a better Mom and actually be "there" before life passes me by.

MyTimeNow

Thank you See above, we didn't make it to the garden lol. Yet. We'll perhaps have dinner out there this evening (it's easier to clean up when DD throws it!)

That's great to hear thank you. Well done on your 10 days that is fantastic! I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm trying hard not to think too much about what 'day' it is as I find my AV kicks in more then (wow, you've done so well, you deserve... oh shut up!) so yes, today I will not drink and if that's the only thing I accomplish along with a lazy day then so be it

I've had countless fails in the past at day 3. Unless I was on an awful vodka binge. I was pretty much drinking every other day. So I always had a day one with a hangover then a drink on day 2. Making it to day 3 would be an achievement for me - and I'd often drink on that under the guise of doing well. So here I am, not in unchartered territory, just a territory I haven't seen in a couple of years. I'll hang in there, I'm not listening to it. It's a liar.

Thank you

Sorry that I haven't replied to everyone individually. With regards to AA. I'm not wholly against the idea. I prefer the RR approach though and CBT based thought changing programs though. I did google AA in my area and all the meetings are at 7 or 8 pm locally. No good to me with nobody to look out for kids. I appreciate those that it works for want it to work for others and they want to get the message across, but practically and spiritually it is not for me. I would go to a f2f Smart Recovery meeting, but they are miles away so I'll be doing their online meetings hopefully (Sunday)

Wow! That was a lot of typing.

Thank you everybody for listening and giving me that kick up the bum!! I've messed my quotes up and missed a couple out!

Rossy wrote - Giving you a kick up the bum lol Stick with it and you will feel better.

A kick up the bum and a stick with it - yikes!! Just kidding thank you!

Mrs King wrote: *Kick up the bum*

Hehe, you asked for it!

I hope you start to feel better soon. What you're feeling is completely normal at that stage of recovery, just remember that it does get better and easier as time goes on. Don't focus on the negatives right now (your weight, your skin, etc) but instead focus on the positives - you have made an amazing lifestyle change that is going to benefit your mind and your body in SO many ways. I know it is difficult to not dwell on the things that get us down, but there is a wonderful, sober life awaiting you!

Congrats on your 5 days. Stay strong and keep going. xx

Thank you!! It's good to know that it is normal, and yes I should be focusing on the positives and I shall strive more to do so. Thanks for the kick too!!

Right if anybody managed to read through that lot plus messed up quotes you deserve a medal!!

DD awake now so we WILL get in the garden! Catch you all later xxx