mds1212

I have been going to meetings for about 45 days and had a relapse about 2 weeks ago. i feel so guility and lousy. Even when I go to a meeting I think about my next relapse. When does it get easier.

Live2Run25

Hello! I promise it does get easier.. you just have to give it chance! This is a rollercoaster of a recovery for everyone, but the end of the ride is Sobriety! Life is wonderful being sober. You can do it! There is SO much support here.

MrsKing

Do you mean, every time you go to a meeting you think about your next relapse? Like you're thinking that it's a definite thing and you will relapse again?

Try to get those thoughts from your mind. If you believe you are going to relapse, then the likelihood is that you will. If you believe that you won't, then hope beyond hope, you won't. Try to take this either one day at a time or convince yourself that this is forever. Both ways work well for different people. I like to tell myself "I will never drink again. Ever" and so there's no way my brain can try and convince me that there will be a day that I will relapse. It takes away a lot of anxiety if you can allow that word "never" into your thoughts about drinking, it gives you lots of freedom. If you can only do this one day at a time, though, then focus on today. Do not think of drinking tomorrow, or drinking in a week, or drinking in a month. Tell yourself that you will not drink today, and do not allow yourself to think of the moments in the future where you may relapse. Focus only the now.

You CAN do this. Don't doubt yourself or your strength. Good luck and welcome. You'll find lots of support here.

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR. Sorry to hear about your relapse.

When you quit relapsing. I'm not trying to be a smart a$$. Whatever progress you've made in recovery, from a physical standpoint, goes back to square one with a relapse. Withdrawals can get worse when you relapse, due to something called the kindling effect.

If you can accumulate several months of sobriety I think you will see it getting easier. So if you don't already have one, get a sponsor, start working the steps, get sober.

Good luck.

sober4myboys

It got easier for me when I said NEVER. Never again will I drink. I do not argue or bargain with myself or my thoughts. I stick to never. I was not even able to compelte a week before I came to me NEVER again will I drink conclusion. I do not ever want to look back.

oinobares

Personally, I am on the "one day at a time" program at an early stage after my last relapse (18 days). I will not drink today, I will go to a meeting today, I will call my sponsor or someone else in the fellowship. I will go to bed sober. Keeping it very simple.

Wake up and start the same thing over. When I start projecting myself into some future state of not drinking, maybe drinking, relapsing, etc., I get into a nebulous zone of possibilities that have proven in the past to derail me. I have to deal with being sober now. The obsession has not lifted for me yet, and coming here together with AA helps immensely. I'm also not beating myself up for drinking thoughts, because I am an alcoholic, so of course I will have them. The point is to do everything possible not to act on them or give them too much space in your head.

Best of luck and keep on working at it!

Dee74

welcome mds1212

I think it gets easier at different points for everyone - I think I had a shift in attitude about 60 days...but it will get easier, I guarantee that.

There'd be very few people sticking with it if it didn't

D

IndaMiricale

I dont know , it slowly works for me. But just get back to meetings and get active.Get a sponsor and work the steps that is key, get a homegroup and sign up for coffee or whatever.

Take your mind off things and stick with it. It will get easier. For me and the alcoholic I am , I also wanted instant gratification in sobriety. But it took me 20+ years do get here. Sure wasnt going to be fixed in days or weeks.It takes months

Sapling

I felt guilty and lousy for most of my life...Every day you don't pick up a drink it get's easier...Keep going to meetings...Find a sponsor to show you how it works...Be willing to listen and follow direction....That's what worked for me. Study that book like a manual to save and change your life...Because that's what it is.