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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2
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I am a child of an alcoholic father who was abusive verbally and at time physically. He stood by as I told him his friend was molesting me, and did noting - he did not want to loose his drinking buddy. He still sufferes from alcolholism.
My most recent adventure is leaving my boyfrien of 5 years with whom I have a 3 year old daughter. He has always had a liking to alcohol he had recieved 2 DWIs and quit drinking for a year. He claimed to have learned how to handle this. He started drinking again after a year at first casually. As of more recent he has been drinking nearly every weekend to the point of not knowing where he is. Everytime we are to go out I always end up cutting my night short to take care of him cause he can hardly pronounce his name. He has always had this picking on me attitude which intensifies when he is drinking.
The last incident was me leaving to go 3 hours out of town. He was to drop our daughter off at grandmas and he was just going to plan a party with his buddies for an upcoming bachelor party. He told the grandparents that he would be picking her up at the lastest by 1130am. He never came. I called him at noon on my way after starting my 3 hour drive. He had been sleeping.
I was informed that he walked out of his friends house - never to be found that night when his two friends went looking for him. He informed me that he wandered and got lost in the 5 block walk from his buddies house to our house - and ended up sleeping on a porch of a complete stranger. Weve had many conversations on his drinking and he always says he thinks he is going to quit. However, there is always an excuse- a friends wedding, birthday, etc. I have loved this man since the minute I saw him. I gave him a week to decide if he wants to get his life together while keeping me and his daughter in his life. I know I made the right decision, but its breaking my heart for my daughter. I swore I would never raise my children in an enviorment like this. Where do I go from here?
My most recent adventure is leaving my boyfrien of 5 years with whom I have a 3 year old daughter. He has always had a liking to alcohol he had recieved 2 DWIs and quit drinking for a year. He claimed to have learned how to handle this. He started drinking again after a year at first casually. As of more recent he has been drinking nearly every weekend to the point of not knowing where he is. Everytime we are to go out I always end up cutting my night short to take care of him cause he can hardly pronounce his name. He has always had this picking on me attitude which intensifies when he is drinking.
The last incident was me leaving to go 3 hours out of town. He was to drop our daughter off at grandmas and he was just going to plan a party with his buddies for an upcoming bachelor party. He told the grandparents that he would be picking her up at the lastest by 1130am. He never came. I called him at noon on my way after starting my 3 hour drive. He had been sleeping.
I was informed that he walked out of his friends house - never to be found that night when his two friends went looking for him. He informed me that he wandered and got lost in the 5 block walk from his buddies house to our house - and ended up sleeping on a porch of a complete stranger. Weve had many conversations on his drinking and he always says he thinks he is going to quit. However, there is always an excuse- a friends wedding, birthday, etc. I have loved this man since the minute I saw him. I gave him a week to decide if he wants to get his life together while keeping me and his daughter in his life. I know I made the right decision, but its breaking my heart for my daughter. I swore I would never raise my children in an enviorment like this. Where do I go from here?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi and Welcome,
I'm sorry for your situation.
You might find that AlAnon can offer you support for yourself. Also, we have a forum on our boards for Friends & Families.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I'm sorry for your situation.
You might find that AlAnon can offer you support for yourself. Also, we have a forum on our boards for Friends & Families.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Roanoke, Virginia
Posts: 6
Hey.
I will be flat out honest when I say this. I have zero experience with this situation. HOWEVER. I do know a person who had to leave her husband when he started drinking again. She takes it very seriously. This was someone she in fact stated she could not live without. A hard decision to make, but eventually he came around and cleaned up his act. I know this is not easy for you, but often the right choices are the hardest to make. I'm telling you a true story and hope it inspires you to remain vigilant.
I will be flat out honest when I say this. I have zero experience with this situation. HOWEVER. I do know a person who had to leave her husband when he started drinking again. She takes it very seriously. This was someone she in fact stated she could not live without. A hard decision to make, but eventually he came around and cleaned up his act. I know this is not easy for you, but often the right choices are the hardest to make. I'm telling you a true story and hope it inspires you to remain vigilant.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Glad you joined, mncopeing. I'm sure there'll be people with suggestions - who've been through a similar situation. I think it was a great idea to join here - you're taking action, looking for solutions - instead of just accepting his behavior. You won't regret reaching out for help - no one needs to live with such uncertainty and danger.
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