colagirl

Hi everyone. I used to come here a lot, but I haven't posted in awhile. I hate to admit that I'm still struggling with my drinking. I've been in a bad downward spiral since my cat died a couple of weeks ago along with a bunch of family stuff having to do with my mom being sick.

I know I need to stop, but I'm having trouble even finding the motivation to do it. I'm so sad and depressed and I have terrible coping skills. I feel like the drinking is the only thing that gives me a break from feeling so miserable.

I don't have any wine right now, and I'm trying not to buy any today. Does anyone have any words of encouragement?

Live2Run25

You CAN do this. I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I can understand how that makes you want to resort back to the bottle. You don't have any wine now, and this is a GREAT starting point. Don't buy anymore. Make something else the focus of your life. Alcohol is not the answer. You have a chance now to drop it, and start all over again. We are all here for your support. You can do it!!!

MrsKing

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother being sick and about your cat. I understand you must be going through a tough time right now, but honestly, alcohol is definitely not the answer. Alcohol only ever makes things worse, especially if it is to do with negative reasons in the first place. Please stay strong. You are of no use to anyone if you are drunk - I'm sorry to sound so negative but that's the truth - you are going to be much more help to your sick mum if you are sober, and much more help to yourself, too. There are so many reasons not to drink - think of WHY you stayed sober and what spurred you on to make that decision in the first place. Do ANYTHING but pick up that first drink. It's not the answer, it never makes situations better or easier - all it ever does is cause more problems... I'm wishing you all the best x

Lenina

Cola girl,

It's good to see you! So sorry to hear about your cat. it's just devestating isn't it?

maybe it's time to make a decision about the drinking. The only way I know how is to not drink. for me, I needed a plan. I don't recall if you've used a program before but AA is a good one. I prefer Rational Recovery. I use a combo of the two. I have a contented sobriety and peace in life regarding alcohol.

good to see you again! I hope you'll start posting again. I know you were missed.

Love from Lenina

Anna

I'm sorry about your mother and the loss of your cat. Alcohol never really helps with those issues though, does it? And, it always makes things worse. I hope you decide to live a sober life. We have lots of support to offer you.

FredG

Cats, dogs or whatever become part of our families. I'm a dog person. In the last 5 years or so I've lost 2 dogs to cancer and one couldn't get along with the other one we had at the time. Started getting REAL vicious, so we had to find her a new home. Felt like we were choosing which of our children to give away. I know the pain you're in. MY solution for that would be to go down to the humane society / shelter or whatever else you have in your area and find a rescue animal to help you. I'm not suggesting they replace the one you lost, just saying they help you, as much or more than you help them.

As far as the drinking is concerned, I'd suggest AA. Get to a meeting and meet others with the same issues you have. Get some phone numbers of people that you can call 24/7. Hiding behind a bottle doesn't work. When you come out from behind it, the issue is still there. Enough people here on SR will tell you that.

You're here. Lots of help here, if you're willing to listen. God Bless

pinkdog

Yes I'm sorry about your cat too. I think going to the human society is a good idea though. My dog helps me with my recovery alot. I was isolating with the drinking. Walking the dog got me out of the house. We have made alot of people and their dogs friends. It's really been very good for me. I look forward to it. My dog likes to make me laugh too. Best thoughts and love to you.

Jimuk

I had my cat Millie put to sleep a couple weeks ago and it broke my heart, I know how you're feeling. So sorry for your loss, stay strong and concetrate on the happy memories.

Jim x

colagirl

Thanks for the responses everyone, they've cheered me up a bit. I'd never lost a pet before and this one was the first I got after college about 14 years ago. I knew it would be devastating when this happened, but I don't think I could have quite understood it before. I do have another older kitty so he is helping to cheer me up. I'm not quite ready for a new one just yet, but at least I've gotten past the part where I vowed to never have another one again!

As for the drinking, I do have some books to read on various recovery methods - I like the idea of Rational Recovery but I also like the social aspect of AA so I might try to find some meetings.

I started drinking in college, and I feel like I never really developed any other ways of dealing with my problems. It's so hard for me to even imagine having to actually feel those awful feelings, like it would break me or something. Does anyone relate to that?

doggonecarl

I think the last two lines of your signature says it all:

When I got tired of my own hell
I reached inside, and I saved myself

Dee74

welcome back CG
I'm sorry for your mom and for your loss.

I used to feel like that too - the truth was tho it was making me miserable.

I was terrified of feeling - I was nearly hysterical at the thought of having to feel emotional pain...but the truth was, I hadn't really allowed my self to engage with strong feelings for years.

Once I did again, I found my fear of feeling was much worse than the reality.

Yes it can hurt, sting even - but it's not as unbearable as I imagined it was....and I seemed to deal with things a lot more quickly when not drinking...drinking put me in a kind of holding pattern...it really wasn't dealing with anything at all.

Deal with stuff sober is a tough skill to (RE) learn - but it's a pretty steep learning curve...we learn again pretty fast...and you're not alone here when dealing with life sober.

My life is so much better now - and so am I

I really hope you'll stick with us CG

D