So here I am, fallen but not defeated. Hello SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: That Radiant Path
Posts: 4
So here I am, fallen but not defeated. Hello SR
Hello SR, I am an extreme opiate addict and well, any pill that will get me high addict. I'm currently five days clean and it's hard.... really hard. I'm barely sleeping, barely eating, but I'm going to do this. I have to.
So, a little background about me. I'm a 29 year old Male living down here in Florida. In 2008 I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease of the spine with discs L4 through S1 herniated and causing extreme pain in both of my legs. My doctors, knowing my aversion to surgery, decided that a steady diet of 10mg Percocet was going to be the best to manage this. For a while all was well, the prescription helped and even lasted all month long. Then my scripts started lasting only 3 weeks and then two weeks and so on. I probably not need to tell any of you here how godawful withdrawls from steady opiate use can be so I turned to the streets. Down here in Florida roxycodone and oxycodone are fairly easy to find and I began downing them as fast as my nose could sniff them. Getting high suddenly became secondhand to actually killing the pain and this continued for years and I even began shooting them. In 2001 I lost my only brother to drinking and driving and then six years later I lost my best friend to an overdose of oxy on the same day, March 29. You would think those two things alone would have stopped me, but it didn't. I did manage to stop using the needle but I was still sniffing about 200mgs a day.
I don't exactly know what it was, but last wednesday I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself the honest question, "Where am I gonna end up if I keep this up?". Dead. That's the only answer I could come up with, an early grave. So then and there I decided no more for any reason, ever. I can't believe how selfish I have been alienating family and friends but I don't want to be this any more.
Here I am SR, pouring my heart out to you because I can't do this on my own. I'm sad, isolated, and lonely. Just typing this is making my eyes water because I don't think I've been this honest with myself in a long time. There are no more excuses, this HAS TO STOP. Please help?
So, a little background about me. I'm a 29 year old Male living down here in Florida. In 2008 I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease of the spine with discs L4 through S1 herniated and causing extreme pain in both of my legs. My doctors, knowing my aversion to surgery, decided that a steady diet of 10mg Percocet was going to be the best to manage this. For a while all was well, the prescription helped and even lasted all month long. Then my scripts started lasting only 3 weeks and then two weeks and so on. I probably not need to tell any of you here how godawful withdrawls from steady opiate use can be so I turned to the streets. Down here in Florida roxycodone and oxycodone are fairly easy to find and I began downing them as fast as my nose could sniff them. Getting high suddenly became secondhand to actually killing the pain and this continued for years and I even began shooting them. In 2001 I lost my only brother to drinking and driving and then six years later I lost my best friend to an overdose of oxy on the same day, March 29. You would think those two things alone would have stopped me, but it didn't. I did manage to stop using the needle but I was still sniffing about 200mgs a day.
I don't exactly know what it was, but last wednesday I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself the honest question, "Where am I gonna end up if I keep this up?". Dead. That's the only answer I could come up with, an early grave. So then and there I decided no more for any reason, ever. I can't believe how selfish I have been alienating family and friends but I don't want to be this any more.
Here I am SR, pouring my heart out to you because I can't do this on my own. I'm sad, isolated, and lonely. Just typing this is making my eyes water because I don't think I've been this honest with myself in a long time. There are no more excuses, this HAS TO STOP. Please help?
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Welcome to SR OneWingedAngel. So sorry that you have the back problems. My guestion is, how ya gonna keep the pain in check without medication? Regretably it is so easy to become addicted to pain killers. Lots of help on SR, just keep posting. Good luck. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: That Radiant Path
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by neferkamichael 
Welcome to SR OneWingedAngel. So sorry that you have the back problems. My guestion is, how ya gonna keep the pain in check without medication? Regretably it is so easy to become addicted to pain killers. Lots of help on SR, just keep posting. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: That Radiant Path
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Impurrfect
((OneWingedAngel)) - Welcome to SR and congratson 5 days clean!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: That Radiant Path
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Live2Run25
Welcome.. we are all here for your support. It's good that you realize you need to change. That's a very good first step. The WANT to change is a good starting place.
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Originally Posted by OneWingedAngel
Thank you :-) So far, I have another day down and I'm about to be on my way to work. Day six = success.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
I am very glad that you took this HUGE step and decided to quit. I lost my best friend because of his addiction to opiates + alcohol. I know how much he suffered. I think about him nearly every day, and every single time I wish I would drag him to rehab, because he was like a brother to me... and there's so much more in life that we could have shared and accomplished.
I sincerely hope that you stay on the right track and that you will find strength to get through the tough times. Life will be wonderful once again. Every day, every hour you go sober is a step towards a new and better life.
I sincerely hope that you stay on the right track and that you will find strength to get through the tough times. Life will be wonderful once again. Every day, every hour you go sober is a step towards a new and better life.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,391
Welcome OWA 
You'll find a lot of support here
Be sure to check out our substance abuse forum too
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
You'll find a lot of support here
Be sure to check out our substance abuse forum too
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Welcome to the family! You're never going to be alone with this - you have all of us.
When I joined SR I was drinking round the clock, a physical & emotional wreck. I started reading here, & slowly began to post. It was like the fog lifted & the sun began to peek through. Opening up and being honest felt so good, and everyone understood. I didn't have that with my friends or family. SR helped save my life. May joining us bring you courage and hope.
When I joined SR I was drinking round the clock, a physical & emotional wreck. I started reading here, & slowly began to post. It was like the fog lifted & the sun began to peek through. Opening up and being honest felt so good, and everyone understood. I didn't have that with my friends or family. SR helped save my life. May joining us bring you courage and hope.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
