How do I stop drinking when I'm only 22!?
 

I have never considered myself an "alcoholic" because at my worst I was only drinking 2-3 times a week. I also keep up a 3.9 and I am a full-time student and have 2 jobs. But I was blacking out all the time. I started dating this amazing guy and he couldn't stand the person I was when I drank too much and blacked out. It took one horrible night to realize I had a drinking problem. I talked to a counselor and laid low avoiding going out ect. He was very supportive and I've gone 6 months without blacking out.. until a couple nights ago. I went to a wine festival, had an empty stomach, and then went out to a bar afterwards with my boyfriend and some friends. I completely tore him down and called him horrible things in front of everyone. I convinced him to stay with me and work on things, but I know he's reached his breaking point with me. I know that I am driven to drink because of stress and I feel like I will never be good enough for my bf because he seems so perfect and has everything together.

The point is.. I want to stop drinking but I don't see it as a possibility when I'm only 22 and all my friends drink. I feel hopeless. I feel like even if I get my drinking under control- i'm going to eventually slip up and be torn apart all over again. It's so frustrating that I keep repeating the same mistakes.

Welcome! This is a great place to start. I am a newbie, so I don't have much to offer other than I know how you feel about repeating the mistakes over and over again. And even when I look back I think "Well, I could have stopped if I really tried" which I know is a lie I keep telling myself.

You can do it if you put your mind to it,I am 23 and not touched any drink in almost 12 months.

I am 24 and have given up drinking even though all my friends drink. I realised that nothing was ever going to come good of my drinking habits and decided I hated what I had become, and so I said goodbye to alcohol forever on April 1st this year. It's only been (almost) 3 months, so I'm still in very early stages, but life is a HUGE amount better for me now and I can't think of anything worse than still being where I was. The thing is, you can make this decision WHENEVER you want to. You don't have to carry on drinking just because everyone else is. You don't have to be like everyone else, you can be whoever you want to be, and if that is a sober person, then you can be it AT ANY AGE YOU WANT. SR is a great place to be - there is so much knowledge and experience here. Just look around. You'll see what alcohol does to people 20, 30 years down the line. If you want to quit, quit. Don't carry on because you feel like you would be missing out, or because you feel like you should be drinking at your age. In the future you will look back and maybe regret not giving yourself that chance. Good luck and welcome to SR!

i don't think age has anything to do with it.
i would actually say that it is great that you are seeing things in this perspective now and are reaching out for help. it won't be any easier 10 or 20 years later, because people/friends will continue drinking. you have to make the right choice for yourself, first and foremost. just like someone with diabetes cannot have sugar, some of us cannot have alcohol. you are aware of the problem and not being in denial and coming here is a HUGE step in the right direction.
do not worry about the future, you cannot predict what will happen. hopefully you didn't start drinking at 12 :) so your "drinking career" is not very troublesome, just yet. there are many options and methods to stay sober, which i'm sure you'll find here. don't be afraid to ask for help... and saying "i don't drink" is not something to be afraid of, it is actually quite empowering, imo.

I agree with Rossy. You have to set your mind to it. Think "I will" "I am". You can do it. Sobriety rocks!:ghug3

Well first of all, if never getting drunk for the rest of your life seems an unachievable task, how about setting yourself a more realistic goal. You take whatever your current 'best' for staying sober is, and then you work on beating that score. When you're used to drinking a few times a week, going a week without might sound rough, but sooner or later if you keep coming back and trying you'll find it's doable. And once you've got a week record, slipping up isn't the end of the world. Next time, make it a week and a half. Then two weeks. Then three. Then once a month.

The longer you go without a drink, the easier it is to keep not drinking. There are plenty of perks and positives to staying sober. You'll start to notice them once you get off it a week and then try to start drinking again.

Secondly, at 22 you might underestimate how quickly you will grow up and mature. Hanging out with your buddies and getting drunk / high will eventually go out of fashion just as the games you used to play when you were ten did.

Sooner than you think.

Hi kb! My drinking was already seriously excessive at 22, and it has taken me more than 20 years to get finally honest with myself about the fact that I simply am not in command when it comes to alcohol. When I drink I am not calling the shots, the booze owns me. The fact that you are being so honest with yourself at that age is really admirable. Ultimately it is your choice to make, but keep in mind, from my experience and the vast collected experience of other alcoholics, it always gets worse. Over those two decades I made "countless vain attempts" to moderate my intake, with no success. Quitting is hard and scary and makes me sad too, since I am one who actually enjoys the taste of certain types of alcohol (after the first 5 drinks that becomes a moot point, of course). But I was extremely fortunate to not have any drastic negative health, legal, or familial consequences--YET. I know those consequences are waiting in the wings if I continue to drink.

Have courage! You came to a wonderful place for support and advice. :)

I am envious of your self awareness at such a young age:) if only I had made the decision to completely quite drinking when I was younger, I would have saved myself from a lot of terrible hangovers and shameful guilt.
Instead I decided to have children to curb my drinking because I never drank while pregnant and nursing. Having my kids young was one of the best decision that I have ever made so far in my life but it just masked & delayed the inevitable drinking problems that i face now. In hindsight, I would have been much better off quitting drinking for good when I was younger but I am a slow learner;). Follow your heart right now and you will save yourself a lot of heartache in the future. Good luck, you can do it!

I am 25 and I'm quitting. It doesn't matter how old you are. Alcoholism does not discriminate. You have to realize that you CAN'T drink like others. I was blacking out all the time two. Sometimes only after 2 or 3 drinks. I got out of control. I don't want to be that person anymore. If you have a good man, think about what you can do to keep him. Alcohol is not going to be there for you, possibly marry you, and grow old with you. Think about the things that are important to you in life.

Thank you for your post, and all the following ones. I am struggling with "never drinking again" scaring me, but slowly becoming more comfortable with the thought. I am a weekend only binge drinker, age 31. I know that my drinking will only get worse if I continue to ignore the signs. I'm blessed to have realized this at the very early stages, and still praying I continue to understand this. Every time someone posts that "if they have stopped sooner" I hear a bell go off...ding! This is your sign. :)

Welcome! You are me, several years ago! :)

You've said it well here: you know the score. By the time I was 31 I was a binge-only drinker and I knew I had a problem deep down (hell, even medium down) and I continued to not face it. I never drank every day, etc. etc.

It gets worse. Steadily sometimes, more quickly and scarily other times. The trick for a lot of people seems to be this: "How much do I have to lose, how much pain do I have to inflict on myself and others, how large a catastrophe do I require for this to become REALLY real?"

The answer is up to you. You will find all sorts of people on this forum, including those who recognized their problem in their teens/early 20s, addressed it, and never saw it ultimately damage their lives. You will find people who have had family and loved ones die because they drove under the influence. You will find people asking themselves the same desperate questions, at age 62, they've been asking themselves since age 22, and looking at the wreckage of 40 years of chaos strewn around them...and still not stopping.

We all choose when to step off of the high-speed escalator to hell that is addiction. How well we can learn from the mistakes of others, without having to make them ourselves, can be key. SR is a fantastic place for that.

Just remember that you know what you know. And that addiction only moves in only direction: progressively worse, more damaging and more life-dominating as time goes on.

As I've posted before, I'm not being hard on you. This is the post my 37 year old self would have liked my 31 year old self to have read, internalized, and acted on 6 years ago. I didn't, and man oh man, I would have been so much better off if I had stopped 6 years ago. :)

Hi and Welcome,

I think it's good that you recognize at a relatively young age that you have an addiction to alcohol. It's really hard to stop drinking and to motivate yourself to recover, and I think you need to firmly believe that you are an alcoholic and can never drink again in order to succeed. I hope that you take a look around here and read and learn.

AGE hasn't got anything to do with it. I've been to meetings with an 8 year old, that now has about 15 years of sobriety. Lot out there younger than you and lots older. Point is ... do you REALLY WANT to stop?

IF you do - then we can help. Oh and by the way - "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" (Albert Einstein)

Hey Kb,

Like others have said, I have been (and still sort of am) in your shoes exactly. I never drank every day, but I've blacked out so many times it is embarassing to even think how high the number is. I am 26, but have questioned whether or not I have a drinking problem for years. It is hard, especially in college when everyone drinks and it seems normal enough until one day you realize it's not as normal as we would like to think. I, also, have said horrible things to my boyfriend and friends, things I would never even think when I'm sober. I've gotten so tired of waking up the next day wondering what I said / did, wondering why people are mad at me, etc. I'm only a few days in, but I'm ready to do the work to keep myself straight.

I'm also in grad school and keep a 3.9 gpa, despite the drinking I have been doing. Other things in my life have been harder to keep in check, though. It sounds like you have a lot going for you and I think you are making a great decision to put your life in front of your drinking. Which one, after all, is more important?

Good luck and post here often. As you can see, and as I was happy to find, there is a lot of good advice to be had and a lot of people going through the same things. Age doesn't matter, perspective does.

Hello and welcome. I WISH I would have stopped at 22. I knew I had a problem then (somewhere in me) and I continued to drink. I would have saved myself ALOT of pain and heartache if I would have stopped.

You can do it. You can be an example for friends, you can find new sober friends, and you may be able to salvage your relationship. But you have to WANT to stop, you can not do it for anyone else but you.

I promise if you make the change now, you will be forever grateful and save yourself alot of time, problems and money. It only gets worse.

kb;

It took me a long time to accept I have a problem. My entire social like had become Friday night at the bar; my treat to myself for surviving a stressful week. My last visit was Mar 16, 2012. On my way home I got stopped for speeding. I was given the opportunity to call a ride home before being taken to jail and not a single "friend" was available. I spent the next 8 hrs re-evaluating the woulda, coulda, shouldas of my life.

You realize the problem at a young age; take action now. Life lived wondering what one did or said the night before is life at all. You already know this. I encourage you to trust that knowledge and continue the path to sobriety.

Welcome to SR, you have found a wonderful website with some of the most caring individuals in the world waiting to support you. They have been my lifeline since March 18, 2012. It took me 52 years to arrive where you have come at 22.

I read this short memoir a couple weeks ago about a young girl's battle with alcoholism.

Life of the Party by Becky Tirabassi

It was really good, you should check it out.

Thank you!!!
 

Thanks everyone for the encouragement! I've decided to quit drinking. This weekend is going to be tough. I have anxiety over going to a birthday party for one of my friends. I feel obligated to go but I'm afraid that I won't be as fun if I'm not drinking. I'm also afraid that I will get annoyed or resentful of my friends for being able to drink. I love my friends and I don't want to lose them. How do I hang out with my friends, stay sober, and have a good time?

Have soft drinks,keep one with you at all times so your friends won't pester you to drink.