Healthyfood

Its day 145 today. I'm so tired of all those thoughts about booze. I really miss the parties and I miss the booze.
I just don't like being different. Everyone around me drinks. Im fed up with this. I have no motivation left.

lilyrosemary

Need new friends. : )

2granddaughters

Are you attending AA meetings?

All the best.

Bob R

Healthyfood

Yes I need new friends...

No Im not attending AA meetings, they are not for me.

I hope that no one will offer me any drink tonight.

pinkdog

145 days is great. But it will get easier with time. You will get used to it. Find some new hobbies. Alot of people do not drink. Plan ahead of time what you will do if anyone offers you a drink. Sobriety does get better with time. I'm 2 years sober and I do not worry about it like that anymore. I'm comfortable with it. Keep going friend. It really does get easier.:ghug3

freshstart57

Healthyfood, I am concerned for you and for your sobriety. May I suggest that you read a post of mine on another SR forum? It might ring for you.
A Letter to a Friend

GirlFromCO

Hi HF. I miss booze too. I think about it a lot. I can't have booze on my terms though, if I were to drink I would have to have booze on its own terms. That means all the horrible things I stopped drinking to get away from would come right back. That's just how alcohol works. You can't have one without the other. It sounds like you're unhappy with your social life. Is there anything you can do to improve it on your own terms?

Jeni26

Don't give up HF, you're doing so very well and are an inspiration to me. Have a look at other methods of recovery, there are lots out there which have been really successful with people.
Stay on SR. We are all here for you xx

Healthyfood

Thank you all for kind words. I just lost my motivation to continue. I want to find something that relaxes me and makes me happy.
Im just tired of this.
Today Ive noticed that so many people had booze in their supermarket baskets. Why can't I be normal?

wheresthefun

Not trying to be a smart guy, but if it was booze that "relaxed you and made you happy", you might want to ask yourself why you came to "The SoberRecovery Community" web site in the first place?

GirlFromCO

It's hard to keep going sometimes, especially if you're having a tough day. Here's a question for you - what did you used to do that made you feel relaxed and happy, before you started drinking? Like when you were a kid? What made you feel good back then? You haven't always needed alcohol to help you feel good, remember?

soberlicious

Hi Healthy. Sorry you are struggling right now. Remember that it won't always be like this. Booze is never an option for me. It is off the table so to speak. That frees me to go anywhere and do anything I want to. I had to ask myself in the beginning..."soberlicious, what is it that you cannot do without booze?" The answer is nothing. There is nothing I can't do if I want to. Booze does not give me courage...I give me courage. As far as what others do...that's their business. I am me. I make choices for me. Do not pull your personality from a bottle. You can be as social as you want to be. I am a party girl for sure...just not a drunk party girl. There is a difference. Huge difference. Embrace yourself...you do not need to be chemically enhanced. Hang in there...don't drink...and decide how you want your life to be and make it that way.

Live2Run25

A lot of people commit suicide too. Does that mean you should? Come on! You've made it 145 days! That's excellent. You don't need a drink! You need to realize how well youve done. Great job!!!!

MyTimeNow

Hi Healthyfood,

with regards to the people in the supermarket - who knows what their drinking habits are. You could have seen me recently buying vodka and thinking why can't I be normal like her? Whereas I would be thinking why am I here again doing this to myself?!

You may have seen a couple like me and the ex a few years ago stocking up on beers for the evening, laughing and joking. Later though, crying and shouting due to booze.

Something to think about next time you're shopping maybe?

Healthyfood

Thank you all. Great responses!

Ive become very lazy lately, not sure why. Nothing excites me. I will try and force myself to cook dinner.

sugarbear1

I missed the weed. Then my neighbors decided to party on their balcony every few hours as I sat without booze or weed in my apartment. I remembered the binoculars. I lived vicariously for a while as I watched them "party and have fun."

I was 50 years old, sitting on my living room floor watching these young people smoke on their balcony. They even held their baggie up high for everyone to see. I looked around and realized how foolish I was. No, they couldn't see me, I was behind the blinds. They continued on for months. I opened my door and listened. Boy, did they sound stupid. It was delusional fun. Then their fights began.

I stayed stopped, continued working my program of recovery. I became stronger each day I did not drink or act stupid. They moved (arrested?).

Stay strong, you'll become stronger, too. You aren't missing out on anything. What I know now is that those who drink and get louder and louder aren't really having any more fun than those of us who are sitting and engaging in honest conversations. I know this, I've been out with many sober people in social gatherings where others choose to drink.

I'm happy to have met sober people. If anything, you could get to some AA meetings just to meet those sober people. Romanticising our past doesn't help us move forward. There are many people who chose not to drink. We just happen to find those who do like to drink. We're like magnets that way.

Stay strong and stay sober. You are worth it! It does get better!

Hugs,

Zee

Its Saturday. Will you feel like this on monday morning? I know I won't...
I feel like you, the weekends are not too good for me, especially when I hear the 'chemically enhanced fun' going on outside.
I will have 300 days tomorrow (whoop) and monday I will have 301.
We may feel bad now, but we sure as heck won't feel bad in the morning. We can do it if we all stick together x

hypochondriac

What did you use to help you get sober HF? Maybe it's time to revisit that. Thanks for your honesty though. I miss booze too sometimes but I am afraid to say that out loud. Whenever I get thoughts like that though I have to remember they're lies. I don't need alcohol to be sociable, I could never really relax socializing when I was drinking in case I drank too much. Did you ever go to that slimming class? x

Dee74

Some great advice here HF

What have you been doing to make a new life?

D

oh2exhale

Congrats on day 145, lets make it to 146! Are you sober today or just a "dry" drunk? You may be battling the demon alcohol still lurking in the deep dark recesses of your brain. Tempting and taunting you back to the dark place...too bad you cant just go hang out at the jailhouse tonight when they are dragging in the drunks, or the hospitals where they are bringing in the injured folks who were either driving while drunk or the innocent victims of the drunks...or the morgue...thats where the alcohol you saw in those shopping carts winds up usually. Thats where alcohol takes most people, I DO NOT want anything to do with that. Hope you dont either, but it is your choice.