DoinThis

Is it possible? I swear I know so many people who drink alcoholically and seem really happy. High functioning, huge quantities of booze and honestly think it's weird that I'd choose to quit drinking. These people actually drink more than I was. When I asked one of these people once 'aren't u worried about your health?', they replied, nah I give my body a break when I'm at work! Dead serious he was.

There's been a few occasions since being sober that I've envied them, my thoughts thinking early sobriety is so hard I wish I was like them and didn't care that I was a drunk!

Elisabeth888

Maybe drinking is the right choice for them but not for you. Just do your thing and make yourself happy and peaceful.

GypsyHeart

this may not be true, but....
you are only seeing that they are drinking a lot and being ok from a bystander's view - maybe all is not what it looks like on the surface and if you knew what was really going on with them. maybe inside they are struggling as much as you, but it's a private struggle and they put on that act of being ok and high functioning. just something to think about.

MalkavianEmily

I know I was happy when I was drinking. Took my problems away. Or rather it didn't, but it left me in a place where I didn't care about them. And at first, I drank to be happy. Then I drank not to be stressed, miserable and crabby. Except somewhere along the line, the stop button got a little hard to find.
Right now, I'm 20 days sober. Things that would have been an excuse to drink... aren't. But I'm stressed, miserable and crabby. I used the self-checkout at the supermarket and spent most of my time swearing at the nagging bl**dy machine.
And then I went to get toilet rolls and see if they had a clothes rail. They didn't but they did have a 70cl bottle of 40% vodka for £10. I didn't get one, but I wish I had. I miss the feeling I used to get, and I hate this sober version of me.
I know what I have to do. Just... not sure it's worth it at the moment.

duane1

My neighbor can drink a few beers during the week and a little more on weekends, but he can take it or leave it. I can't. I wish I could and spent many years of my life trying to be a "social" drinker. He may not see the long term health damage he is doing. I didn't have any issues until my liver started hurting 2 months ago. It was a rude awakening. Worry about yourself for now. No need to trouble yourself with what is working for other people.

tomsteve

welp, im an alcoholic and happy, but if i was a practicing alcoholic, i wouldnt be.


it only looked fun from the outside for me.

SomebodyElse

I have wondered this very thing. The majority of people that I know that drink are professionals with high power, high paying jobs. I do wonder how they do what they do professionally with a hangover every day. I wonder if they ever think that they drink too much because they do not seem to care about their heavy drinking. I try not to focus on them because if I do then I will try to convince myself that I can be like them. I can't. I try to focus on myself and hope that one of them, one day will tell me that I inspired them to quit drinking. [I'm on day 8, so I am not inspiring anyone yet!]


P.S. I have also thought that when you make a lot of money it is easier to convince yourself that you don't have a problem, because you make a lot of money. Does that make sense?

GirlFromCO

You're only seeing one side of it. When I quit, a lot of people were shocked that I thought I had a problem with alcohol. They didn't know what was really going on in my life. They only saw the illusion of happiness - a really small window, maybe a couple of hours, where I was still semi-coherent and happy and energetic and fun. They didn't see the aftermath. Those that did were grateful I stopped because they knew the truth.

Everyone thought I was a college student getting good grades, making art, and living with my boyfriend - in reality I had dropped out of college, was working as a prostitute, had to take loads of benzos to function at all, and wanted to kill myself when I woke up each morning. I wasn't just drinking what people saw me drinking, I was drinking at home before going out, and usually until dawn after I got home. You just don't know what is going on with other people. Don't assume anything about anyone.

wheresthefun

What GypsyHeart said.

You will NEVER know what is truly going on inside the mind and body of someone else. Just like you will never know others' financial situations. Although, it almost seems human nature for us to look at others and decide so much about them, based on outward appearances, material goods and what they say.

"Whenever two men meet there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself each man as the other sees him and each man as he really is." - William James

artsoul

Like GirlfromCO said, you're only seeing what that person wants you to see. No one would have suspected how miserable I was inside, either - I made sure of that. I don't think it's possible to be happy in any kind of addiction really.

Our addiction is going to buy into anything that makes drinking seem like a good idea. It builds up scenarios where we can drink without consequences, but it's all in our imagination. It's not reality and that kind of thinking is what gets us here in the first place.

pinkdog

1. they are probably in denial 2. it will catch up to them one day 3.don't forget why you quit 4. hanging around active alcoholics is not the best idea

Dee74

I had many drinking buddies who swore they were happy - but I remember the late night deep and meaningful conversations we would have too...

drinking like we did exacts a price...it's inevitable...and the price gets higher the more and the longer you do it.

I think the main thing to remember is *you* weren't happy DT - that's why you're here.

and Emily - hang in there - it's not easy but it really is worth it.
Noone here would still be in recovery if we thought we lost out on the deal

D

ACT10Npack

At first I was happy and drinking that was before I had a problem. When I was getting drunk at night once a week was not a big deal but when I started to drink a few days in a row was when I was not happy. Yes the first night I was happy but the next day was always hell and a drink was the fastest way to get the bad hangover.

hypochondriac

That is perfectly normal Emily. Those things were created by Satan purely to p;ss me off! Hang in there. Don't let those little things drive you back.

Doin this...There is absolutely no way I would have admitted what drinking was doing to me! If someone had asked about my health, I would have given some line about not living forever, and no one would have ANY idea that I wasn't coping. Truth is I didn't want to live forever when I was drinking. Sobriety may have it's ups and downs but I don't wish myself dead as often as I used to

Try not to compare yourself to other people because the face they are showing you is probably not the one they are having to face in the mirror every morning.

Hope you stick with it x

choublak

There is a big difference between how things seem to be and how things actually are.

sugarbear1

Delusional thinking on their part and they are lying to you. There's most likely more going on with them than they are saying. Choublak said it well:

There is a big difference between how things seem to be and how things actually are.

reggiewayne

I always thought that to when I compared my inside's to their outside's.

serious

i have a friend just like that.
obviously YOU are not happy when you get to drinking (maybe not on the first night)... otherwise you would not be here. right?
the happiness from drinking is fake, it's just an escape from reality. no matter how happy the person might seem there is also physical damage that alcohol does to your body. and you only have one, so do take care of it.

Notmyrealname

If you're a heavy drinker for long enough it's probably going to end up turning bad at some point. The collateral damage from drunken episodes begins to add up. The physical effects start to catch up with you. And normal, reasonably sober people will eventually get tired of your drunk-ass BS, which means your relationships start going south quickly.

But some people just haven't gotten that far along the timeline. I used to enjoy being a drunk. But it's the line from Animal House, right? "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life." Drink enough for long enough (assuming you actually eat food--if you drink to the exclusion of eating, you have other fairly big problems) and that's what happens, followed by disease and premature death.

regeneration

If you hadn't known me (and known me well) you would not have known I had an issue with booze. 10 years ago, some people might have realised, as my drinking was out in the open, I drunk a lot at parties/work events. Sometimes made a fool of myself/was obnoxious.

I've never missed a day at work from drinking in the last year, or even 2-3 years (sober 3 months). I was an hour and a half late into work after the Christmas party but that's it.

But I was really, really, miserable. Felt awful. My drinking was self-medication and behind closed doors in the later stages. And most people thought I was happy with life.. apart from one close friend who told me I should stop who could see what I was doing. She only saw me once every month at the most as she lived in another city.. but she knew as we'd known each other as children.

I also have a brother who is high functioning alcoholic. He was happy and proud of his drinking. Things are cracking now though, I'm hoping he'll start to realise as worried about him, need to speak to him at some point.

Think summary is.. don't worry about what others do, if you need to stop you know it deep down (I knew it for years, couldn't come to terms with it). And you've no idea what's going on in someone's head. My brother would never tell someone it makes him unhappy, despite the anxiety attacks I see him get. He is very successful in his career and well liked, but that's only one side, he won't tell everyone about how he got concussion when drunk (didn't really tell me!).