BunnyDale

Hello. This is my first time posting on here, or really doing much of anything about the drinking problem I am pretty certain I have. I'm planning on going to an AA meeting tomorrow, because I just have learned that I can't trust myself alone to keep me accountable, so I am hoping that having others to talk to about it will help.

I'm really scared going into this and I feel embarassed. I'm literally only one day dry, but the whole admitting that I have a problem worries me. Not so much admitting it to myself, because I have kind of known this for a while (it's not even the first time I have brought it up to some close friends), but I am scared to admit it to my friends. I know they will support me, but I guess I just feel like a failure. I can't even think about bringing this up to my parents yet.

Anyway, I'm not totally down about this. I really want to get my life back to normal. I'm not an every day drinker, but I binge when I do sometimes and have made some pretty awful decisions besides making an ass out of myself. I'm tired of being that person. I want to be better. I've got a good family, a wonderful boyfriend and good friends that I want to be better for. I'm also working on a Masters and I don't want my drinking to derail my school any more than it has in the past. Mostly, though, I just want to be able to be happy with who I am.

Anyone have suggestions for a newcomer?

Thanks

soberlicious

Concentrate on the things that will move you toward that goal. Some people share very openly with those around them about their drinking problem, others do not. Recovery is obtainable either way. Changing your life is an exciting challenge. Please know that you can absolutely do this. There are many here that will attest to that. Glad you are here, Bunny...

Elisabeth888

Hi Bunny! Welcome!

This is going to sound weird, but I think you will be relieved when you tell them. It is a big step, but it sounds like you have admitted it yourself. It only goes up from here.

I am in school too, working on a second degree and it is fruitless to br a drunk and be in school. I am a perfectionist and making all As is impossible if you are an alcoholic. My relapse was on a break thank goodness.

MalkavianEmily

Welcome BunnyDale :ghug3
We're a friendly bunch at AA. And we have cookies. (well, sometimes...)
Elisabeth, thanks for reminding me why I'm trying to stay sober. I start a physics degree in September and, like you say, I won't be able to do that if I'm drinking. [Catherine (what I call the AV) is just telling me that, "Of course you will. You don't come to a dead stop when you drink." I wish she'd stfu.]

least

Welcome to SR! Some people use AA as a means of staying sober, some use other ways. It doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you get there. I attribute my successful sobriety to the help I get here and from my addiction counselor.

Some do it completely on their own. There is no one way. Do whatever you're comfortable with. You can do this. I did.

aeo1313

Welcome! I too, was not a daily drinker. I would binge 1 or 2 times a week and that would leave me with hangovers of feelings of guilt, embarassment, shame, etc for 2-3 days after drinking.

I am 53 days sober and am in AA and have found it to be a great place for me.

Don't worry too much about what your friends will think. They aren't the ones that have to live in your skin.

soberbrooke

Only if I would have gotten it when I was young. I screwed up my whole school years partying, failing and ended up dropping out. I couldn't get past the drinking, was introduced to AA, and didn't get it.

Now, I am 42 and have finally gotten it. I just can't imagine what I would have become if I didn't party half my life away.......... Hmm.................

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Read the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it's online and online in an audio version.

Glad you are here!

Jitterbugg

Like soberbrooke said, I wasted a lot of opportunities and potential because of the lifestyle I was leading. I made it through university and had a promising career in finance, but the booze eventually took over and I lost everything I worked for. Now I am starting life over again at 35 yrs old. I wish I had recognized the path I was on 10 years ago. I think you should ask yourself if you're willing to throw away your future for the luxury of getting drunk in the present.

pinkdog

I didn't tell anyone while detoxing. My closest loved one figured it out. They would just stick their head in the door periodically and I would say "I'm okay". After a few months I didn't really care who knew. I have been posting all along. I believe that is a great help. The chatroom is good too. You can talk about it in realtime. I have been an absolute champion of sobriety. I say exercise regularly, eat high-fiber foods, drink lots of water, stay busy (sounds like that one will be easy good for you getting your Master's that's awesome) and make new routines. New waking up routines, new activities, hobbies to replace the drinking time and hangover times. Go for the total sobriety is the very best advice! It is so freeing to not have the decision anymore. Best to you. :day6

Dee74

Hi Bunny
welcome

Some of us told everyone, others didn't - I think spouses and partners need to know but outside of that I think it's an individual choice

You don't need to tell anyone in order to start working on your recovery - there's no hurry to even decide right now.

Why not hit the meeting - concentrate on not drinking for now - and make your mind up about telling folks or not a little later?

D

sharp75

many people that binge on certain days wont admit they have a problem and if anyone addresses them about how much they drink the answer is normally "well i only drink 2 or 3 nights a week so i musnt have a problem" but what they havnt admitted to is they will probablys drink the same in 2 -3 days as what a person witha drink problem will drink every day through the week so its good that youve realised even though you dont drink everyday as im sure if you carried on it would eventually get to everyday. iv told all my family and im not nothered about them knowing as i believe this will spur me on to quit as i know they are going to be looking out to see how iv gettin on on i get my detox. iv had many family members with drink problems an some who have died through it so my family are truly supportive as they have witnessed themselves what drink can do to people and rather than critisise me all they are hoping for is my recovery.

heath480

Welcome to SR BunnyDale.

Wishing you the best for the meeting tomorrow.Glad you are going.

sugarbear1

You can always go and just listen. State your first name, if asked and say, "I'm just listening, thanks." No need to admit anything you aren't ready to admit. Many of us found that we ended up blurting it out without warning (we do that). xa-speakers.org also has recorded speaker meetings online. Take a listen!

BunnyDale

Thanks for all the advice and support. I managed to get through a family party today without drinking, which wasn't really hard since I never drank much at those things anyway, but it is still an accomplishment. I think if anyone asks me I will just tell them I'm not drinking these days and maybe keep the extent of work I am doing on myself to myself. I have a bad habit of making a big deal out of things that don't work out in the end anyway, so maybe if I keep this kind of personal I can make it through! My boyfriend and a few close friends know, so I have them to talk to.

Tonight I am going to make myself a goal sheet so I have some things to work towards and focus on for now. My biggest problem has always been getting some distance between the last time I had a "bad" drinking night and feeling like I will be different this time. So far, that hasn't happened and I think abstaining is really my only option. I'm not so far into it that I can't have a good time without drinking, although I know there will be some hard times.

For now, I am trying to avoid the situations I can where friends will be drinking until I get some perspective on this whole thing. Mostly I need to remind myself that it's just better not to have the first drink because I become a different person when I drink, and I don't like her. So, I need to work on staying me!

Thanks again, folks. I am going to try and post on here often. Because of my schedule AA every day may not be an option, so I think this will be a good supplement. Good luck also to all of you!

artsoul

Welcome bunny!

I'm so glad you're choosing to stop now and I think it's great that you want to be the best you can be. Alcohol only makes that harder (and it doesn't get any easier to stop down the road).

Glad you found us - it's a great place!

CarolD

Welcome...

I too use SR as a supplement to my local AA meetings
I have no plans on stopping either excellent resource.

All my best as you move forward into a productive sober future...