DMelton

I have a live in bf 44 who is a crack addict and I'm learning I can't help and it is killing me inside. I love him so very much but lost me in the whole process. I don't know what to do.

neferkamichael

I am so sorry to here that DMelton. I'll be 9 months off crack on the 11th of this month after using for 32 years. Please don't give him any money, or enable him in anyway to use. Prayin for both of you.

DMelton

I never knew the power it had and I just feel if I leave he will die alone. It's tearing me up and yes in the process of moving. This is hard watching him cry over me leaving but I can't be an enabler any longer.

tomsteve

sorry to hear what yer goin through. i am a recovering alcoholic and addict. was once hooked on crack pretty bad for a while.
i will say that the people that walked away from me were very wise in doing so.
we can stay in the lives of practicing alcoholics/addicts and love em to death or we can walk away, take care of ourselves, and when they decide to do something about the alcohol/drug problem, we can love them to life.

FredG

DMelton - I have seen so many that have the same issue. You CAN'T help, at least in the way you think. This might sound like a hard and somewhat uncaring statement, but your leaving might just help him to hit bottom and sober up. If he dies alone, this won't be your fault and is preferrable to dieing and killing you in the process.

You're in a tough spot - go to Alanon or the narcotics equivalent of it. Alanon are what we lovingly call 'The spouses of the souses'. They are a group of people that help each other deal with being someone that loves a practicing alcoholic. I know they'd help you.
Meanwhile you have my prayers.

Dee74

Hi DMelton

I'm sorry for your situation - I can only imagine how hard that is.

You might like to look at our Family and Friends forum too - you'll find other people there who been through, or are going through, similar situations

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

Impurrfect

((DMelton)) - I'm a recovering crack addict. I left my bf, who was still intent on using. He'd been an addict for decades. I chose recovery...over 5 years ago, he did die because smoking that pipe was more important than seeing a dr. for pneumonia.

It's hard, but we can't make anyone find recovery.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

DMelton

Well it was the hardest thing I have ever done but I moved out. He has almost caused me to go broke and the sad thing is I'm not rich. Why is the pain like a death? He has been crying like crazy and in my mind I'm wandering is he crying because he loves me or because his money bag is gone. He has pawned and sold everything he had of any value. I told him he needs to heal and learn to love himself before he can love anybody else and that he can't do it for me, his kids, or anybody but himself. I want to believe he is crying because he truly loves me and sees how bad he messed up but I don't know. You never know after you hear only lies. I'm going to be ok and I survived 15 yrs with an alcoholic and took my kids and it was hell but i did it. Then 7 yrs later this. I have a tattoo all addicts accepted. It's time for me to heal and love me again. Thanks to my amazing 18 mth old grandson for loving his grammy unconditional. He is what makes me a better person. Thanks for all the kind words. I'm hurting but it will not be forever and I know I just have to remain strong.The tattoo comment is a little humor. Gotta laugh to keep from crying.

Anna

I'm sorry you had to make such a difficult decision, but it does sound like it's time to work on loving yourself.

instant

I wish you luck in this difficult time. I think we all have to find our own way in freeing ourselves of addiction.