wonderfullife

Hi Everyone,

As you all might know, I have taken a slightly different approach to all of this. After seeing the wisdom, the struggles, the failures, and the success stories, I have been constructing my own plan. I have failed at trying to stop, setting dates, the list goes on. A few months ago I shifted my thinking to really focusing on being positive, meditation, and healthy behaviors. In that time, very slowly, my thinking has started to change. My brain used to say "I have to give this up", and now it says " I think I really don't want alcohol any more" When I drink with friends now, I look at the drink and say to myself that its not really important. The fear of stopping has been removed (mostly). Now, to be honest, I have not achieved full sobriety yet. All I wanted to do was report the mind shift that happened once I realized that life is not about a drug called alcohol. fear of quitting mostly lifted. fuondation quite strong now. Good luck all.

Wonder

Live2Run25

Congrats to you!

FredG

Congratulations and Good Luck - Very few can do it on their own. Keep close to SR just in case.

KAMRIZ

That's great Wonder!

I did the same thing in my mind, little thought changes would occur, one nugget at a time, sometimes I was still drinking and sometimes I was on a break from it but it was a process.

Then one day I woke up "well done" and I knew from that moment on that I would never drink again.

Keep it up!

Sapling

I don't know...I'll tell you what progress is for me...Going from drinking 30 beers a day morning to night....to drinking none...Overnight...And coming up on a year without one. That's progress. I'm all for different approaches...But when it comes to my life....I'll take one that's been around awhile..

bloss

Total abstinence is what works for me, not a drop, no mind games...

MrsKing

Congratulations on no longer being scared of giving up and well done on realising that alcohol is doing you no favours. Are you planning on quitting entirely? Is that what you want? Or are you just hoping to control your drinking? I wish you all the best.

wonderfullife

I should clarify. Most of me realized that quitting alcohol entirely would lead to a much better life. But like most, everytime I tried, I failed, or just tried to moderate which as we all know fails 99 percent of the time. So yes, I am aiming for total abstinence with a mind based approach. I have nurtured the sober side of me enough that I don't fear giving up alcohol as bad as I used to. So I will eventually be completely free of all this. I found that the hardest thing is and was dealing with my thoughts. So I decided to change those first without focusing on stopping. And it has led me comfortably to a place where I feal secure enough to stop. So where am I now....well, a nice side effect has been decreased drinking. Its been the beginning of summer for me (teacher), and there were a few big parties that I did drink at. I don't plan on moderating. My summer calms down in a week or so, and my marathon training picks up dramatically. I think that is when I will tell some friends and family members so that I can make the final committment. And yes, I will keep SR close. Off to an old friends house tonight for dinner. Used to drink. comfort in knowing I don't desire to tonight. I want to go for the coversation and food. not the drink. This would have been completely unnatural for me to even conceive this fall. Thanks everyone.

Sapling: 30 to none. Well done man. well done.

MrsKing

That's a great way to look at things. I think most of being (and staying) sober comes from the mind. Changing the relationship one has with alcohol and addiction in general is so important. I'm definitely not there yet. I've been sober almost three months and I still have difficulties with my thought process... but I haven't touched a drink so I must be doing something right. I think it's amazing that you are managing to achieve what you have achieved - I don't think I could ever be able to give up that way, dealing with the mind first. I would have got nowhere if I tried that way. Good luck for telling your friends and family.

CarolD

Glad to know abstinence is your goal...

wonderfullife

Last night, I had a great dinner. Everyone had some wine, and I enjoyed some diet soda. I focused on how nice the citrus soda tasted and how the wine would not be that good. I drove home late sober, smiling, and with my wife asleep in the car. Today, I am going to mix up some weird fruit drinks and soda water. Its hot here. I focus on the fact that a dry mouth would really be terrible and practice looking forward to the soda. Its definitely a cognitive behavioral thing that I have been practicing for months. For anyone out there struggling, please, keep trying to work cognitive behavioral therapy into your approach. It might take months. It might take other programs in combination, but I truly believe you will change your mind. Dr. Weil, and Dr. Deepak Chopra, both discuss this in their chapters about addiction. How meditation and the cultivation of positive thoughts can change the mind. And mind you, I have not reached total abstinence yet. Not that I intend to drink. But I don't want to declare sobriety until I have talked with some friends and family. Thanks everyone again for your support on my journey.

Read: Dr Weil "Optimum Health" and Deepak Chopras "Perfect Health". Short chapters on addiction, but very inspiring for general health, which we cannot maintain as active alcoholics.