New to forum & recovery after scary realization
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
New to forum & recovery after scary realization
Hi, all. I'm new to the forum.
I never really used to drink much after college until I started dating my current boyfriend who likes to have an after-work drink most evenings. Lately, however, for me it has become an after-work binge more often than I'd like. Once I start drinking it gets hard for me to stop. My boyfriend is good about letting me know when I should ease up, but I lack the ability to limit myself.
Yesterday he and I both finally realized the severity of my problem when he came home from work to find me passed out on the kitchen floor with a broken wine glass next to me. At first he was afraid someone broke in and hurt me. We've decided we're just not going to have alcohol in the apartment anymore except for the small amount of beer he brews.
I think it's boredom that drives me to drink in the first place. We have every game console on the market, a 3D TV, a fitness center, a pool, and plenty of other methods of entertainment, but I still get overcome with horrible listlessness on my days off. I started caring for potted plants, but after their daily watering there's not much else to do with them. We have no pets. I feel like a bored housewife with a full-time job instead of kids.
It's great to see other people's stories of recovery because I feel less alone in this thing. Thank you all so much. I hope to learn a lot from everyone.
I never really used to drink much after college until I started dating my current boyfriend who likes to have an after-work drink most evenings. Lately, however, for me it has become an after-work binge more often than I'd like. Once I start drinking it gets hard for me to stop. My boyfriend is good about letting me know when I should ease up, but I lack the ability to limit myself.
Yesterday he and I both finally realized the severity of my problem when he came home from work to find me passed out on the kitchen floor with a broken wine glass next to me. At first he was afraid someone broke in and hurt me. We've decided we're just not going to have alcohol in the apartment anymore except for the small amount of beer he brews.
I think it's boredom that drives me to drink in the first place. We have every game console on the market, a 3D TV, a fitness center, a pool, and plenty of other methods of entertainment, but I still get overcome with horrible listlessness on my days off. I started caring for potted plants, but after their daily watering there's not much else to do with them. We have no pets. I feel like a bored housewife with a full-time job instead of kids.
It's great to see other people's stories of recovery because I feel less alone in this thing. Thank you all so much. I hope to learn a lot from everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: The Sunshine State
Posts: 95
Welcome! This is a really great place. Alot of wise people on here. I am new too, it's been a little over a week that I've come to the realization that I have a problem with alcohol, and that I need to do something about it. There is something not normal that goes on in my mind when I start drinking. I work full time as well, and while we normally have a lot of things going on to keep me busy, I'm looking forward to meeting some sober friends that have a passion for life, fitness, or other hobbies I'm interested in. Do you have any passions? Cooking, reading, sports, crafts.....if not, try a class or something that sounds interesting to you.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
So in all the years before your current boyfriend you were never bored? It's only now that you are bored and it makes you want to drink?
Wrong. Your drinking has unleashed a person who, when she starts drinking, can't stop...
You want to drink. That "boredom" is the beginning. The rationalization. In recovery terms, it is the addictive voice giving you permission, a reason, to drink.
I hope you stick around, read a bunch of threads, learn as much about alcohol and alcoholism. And we'll support you in that journey.
Originally Posted by irid 
I think it's boredom that drives me to drink in the first place.
Wrong. Your drinking has unleashed a person who, when she starts drinking, can't stop...
You want to drink. That "boredom" is the beginning. The rationalization. In recovery terms, it is the addictive voice giving you permission, a reason, to drink.
I hope you stick around, read a bunch of threads, learn as much about alcohol and alcoholism. And we'll support you in that journey.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR! It's a really good place to be if you want help and advice. There are lots of people here with a vast amount of knowledge and experience. Have you tried baking? I find it so therapeutic. If I'm feeling stressed, sad, restless or unable to focus on things, I bake a cake. I've found that I'm really quite good at it, and whilst I'm doing it I think about nothing else. Give it a try - you may enjoy it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 173
Irid- you can alleviate your boredom by checking out the AA meetings around your area. The locations are usually listed online. You can go and just listen, no participation required. They use a book called the Big Book of AA. Here's how I knew I fit, from page 44 "If, when you honestly want to, you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic"- I realized I was powerless over alcohol. Excuse typos, I'm sending from phone. Good luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
So in all the years before your current boyfriend you were never bored? It's only now that you are bored and it makes you want to drink?
I never kept alcohol in the house before moving in with my boyfriend because I found out in college that I can't handle it. He tends to keep a 1.5L bottle of gin in the freezer for the occasional mixed drink. Before yesterday he always thought I was being a hypochondriac about my drinking problem. He didn't realize how much he was enabling me.
I feel both grateful and awful that he has to sacrifice something he enjoys on account of my problem. We've been together for two years. Since officially moving in together it just got really bad - going from bingeing maybe twice a year on New Year's and my birthday to once or twice a month for no real reason. I guess that doesn't sound like a lot compared to, like, the people on Intervention, but losing control of myself at any time is one time to many.
Thank you all for your support. I'll check out what meetings are available in the area.
sobriety date 5-2-12
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
welcome- sounds like you have a really great boyfriend and a pretty good life in general. So do I- it's good that we stop our problems now with alcohol before we lose everything good.
As far as boredom I know what you mean. I have taken up painting- it occupies my mind and my hands.
As far as boredom I know what you mean. I have taken up painting- it occupies my mind and my hands.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by aeo1313
welcome- sounds like you have a really great boyfriend and a pretty good life in general. So do I- it's good that we stop our problems now with alcohol before we lose everything good.
I feel like a spoiled child sometimes. I'm incredibly lucky, but I feel unfulfilled. Then that makes me feel guilty because I should be grateful for all I have...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Everett, WA
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by irid
Aeo, that's my thinking exactly. If twice a year became twice a month, I don't want to let it become any more frequent than that and possibly have it interfere with my job.
I feel like a spoiled child sometimes. I'm incredibly lucky, but I feel unfulfilled. Then that makes me feel guilty because I should be grateful for all I have...
I feel like a spoiled child sometimes. I'm incredibly lucky, but I feel unfulfilled. Then that makes me feel guilty because I should be grateful for all I have...
Many of us can tell you that for ourselves the twice a month binges turned into twice a week binges turned into ... long stretches of drinky drinks.
If you can nip this thing now you are likely saving yourself from becoming "one of those people" on intervention. The hardest thing most of us have gone through is watching those who know they have a drinking problem, but don't think it's bad enough, fall back into drinking for more years because they don't understand that the disease of alcoholism is progressive.
All that really means is that even if/when you stop drinking the alcoholism keeps doing push ups waiting for you to start again.
Seems like you have a good guy there if he's willing to give up his drinking because he sees you are having troubles with it. Maybe time to break out an old video game you never beat and start working towards the end goal? Filling time, especially those first few days and weeks, can be an amazing way to step back from a destructive force.
And of course posting here and researching alcoholism and addiction online can be helpful: Always look for the similarities, not the differences.
sobriety date 5-2-12
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
Originally Posted by irid
Aeo, that's my thinking exactly. If twice a year became twice a month, I don't want to let it become any more frequent than that and possibly have it interfere with my job.
I feel like a spoiled child sometimes. I'm incredibly lucky, but I feel unfulfilled. Then that makes me feel guilty because I should be grateful for all I have...
I feel like a spoiled child sometimes. I'm incredibly lucky, but I feel unfulfilled. Then that makes me feel guilty because I should be grateful for all I have...
I am working the program of AA and I am slowly learning that there is a lot more to this world then ME!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: La Junta, CO
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by irid
I feel like a spoiled child sometimes. I'm incredibly lucky, but I feel unfulfilled. Then that makes me feel guilty because I should be grateful for all I have...
:ghug3
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