My alcoholism was used against me in a fight...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Candler, NC
Posts: 5
My alcoholism was used against me in a fight...
So a couple of nights ago my significant other and I had a huge fight.* He was frustrated that Father's Day wasn't playing out as he had hoped and had all 4 of us (me, my 2 daughters, and his daughter) in absolute tears and fear because he was emotionally out of control.
In the process of the arguement I threw out his multiple online and 1 real life affairs.* Bad choice.* He in turn went into our closet, unsealed the box with the little bit of liquor we have for cooking (he's a profesional baker).* The next thing I know he is trying to force me to take the bottle of tequilla from him yelling at me to take a drink.* That he knows that's all I really want so to f'ing drink it.
I didn't.* I have 5 1/2 months of recovery under my belt and have absolutely no desire to screw that up over anyone for any reason.* I know he was just trying to hurt me the same way that me bringing up his affairs hurt him.* But even though I didn't drink it, it felt like he was handing a suicidal person a loaded gun and telling them to go ahead and shot themselves.
And the worse part is that the liquor is still in the closet unsealed.* It was packed up to help me resist the urge and now it feels like my safety net has been yanked out from beneath me.* I'm not going to ask him to reseal it because then he'll know exactly how much he got to me with that and will do it again in the next fight which is exactly what I don't need.* This way he'll figure that it didn't get a rise out of me and leave it alone.
How would others here have handled the fight?* Would anyone ask him to reseal the box or am I just being too proud and stupid over this?* Any advise or 2x4s over the head are welcomed.
In the process of the arguement I threw out his multiple online and 1 real life affairs.* Bad choice.* He in turn went into our closet, unsealed the box with the little bit of liquor we have for cooking (he's a profesional baker).* The next thing I know he is trying to force me to take the bottle of tequilla from him yelling at me to take a drink.* That he knows that's all I really want so to f'ing drink it.
I didn't.* I have 5 1/2 months of recovery under my belt and have absolutely no desire to screw that up over anyone for any reason.* I know he was just trying to hurt me the same way that me bringing up his affairs hurt him.* But even though I didn't drink it, it felt like he was handing a suicidal person a loaded gun and telling them to go ahead and shot themselves.
And the worse part is that the liquor is still in the closet unsealed.* It was packed up to help me resist the urge and now it feels like my safety net has been yanked out from beneath me.* I'm not going to ask him to reseal it because then he'll know exactly how much he got to me with that and will do it again in the next fight which is exactly what I don't need.* This way he'll figure that it didn't get a rise out of me and leave it alone.
How would others here have handled the fight?* Would anyone ask him to reseal the box or am I just being too proud and stupid over this?* Any advise or 2x4s over the head are welcomed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
personally, i think it was a craptastic ploy he used. HE should apologize for being such an immature jerk.
be the bigger person, check the booze and move on with your accomplishment. yes you feel like he yanked your chain, but don't worry, you are intact.
be the bigger person, check the booze and move on with your accomplishment. yes you feel like he yanked your chain, but don't worry, you are intact.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
I don't think the worst part is the sealed or unsealed booze, you seem strong enough in sobriety that having unsealed liquor in the house is not a big problem.
The drama in this relationship, that you mentioned, is a real threat, IMO, to your sobriety.
Perhaps you need to step back a bit a have a good long look.
Kids don't need our BS.
CaiHong
The drama in this relationship, that you mentioned, is a real threat, IMO, to your sobriety.
Perhaps you need to step back a bit a have a good long look.
Kids don't need our BS.
CaiHong
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Your safety net has not been removed. You are solo looking in the wrong place for it. It is NOT in that closet or in that bottle.
Your safety net is the fact you said and seemed honest that you have 5 and a half months sober. And you don't want to throw that away.
That's your safety net regardless of what ever is in that closet.
Your a strong woman. Believe that. Or at least I got that from your post.
All the best to you.
Your safety net is the fact you said and seemed honest that you have 5 and a half months sober. And you don't want to throw that away.
That's your safety net regardless of what ever is in that closet.
Your a strong woman. Believe that. Or at least I got that from your post.
All the best to you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
