Itchy

Welcome from me too missy. My boys are 39 and 37 and they live locally along with my two wonderful chosen by my sons daughters and three grandkids. Yes I am a young and active 60 now that I have been sober for 2 years this coming September. I isolated and sometimes did not leave my property for weeks at a time. My wife did all the shopping and kept working even though I am on my third retirement. So she kept the beer and her scotch stocked along with beer and wine and smokes for both of us.

I really loved drinking when it was voluntary, and hated it when it became mandatory. It would have killed me and I escaped with more health than even I thought possible at my age. Some things will never be the samevas when I was 20, butnthat is thevsame drinker or non drinker. Our problem is that we aged while not all ther in our stupor and it seems we are much worse all at once. But drinking keeps us from looking too closely, or helps when we do! It is like when we don't see a child from age three to four and they seem to have changed beyond possibility.

But you are not even aware of the freedom just being able to grab the keys and drive anytime of the day or night safely. I went to WalMart at 11 PM for the first time in 15 years and felt like I was in a weird movie! I didn't realize how different the night crowd there was since the 90s!

I don't mind time to myself. But I detest being homebound against my will by myself.

I am rooting for ya kiddo!

SamanthaIam

Me too, missylou -- a chardonnay junkie. Know why I went to chardonnay? Cuz red wine stained my teeth and was too much of a giveaway. The longer I drank chardonnay, the less I cared about the taste ... started buying the cheapest crap I could, like the kind in tetra packs from the gas station. Easier to get rid of the empties, easier to hide, easier to buy in relative bulk. I was a slave to that crap. I'd drink it even when it tasted horrible or hurt my throat. I'd drive to get more even when I was absolutely sick from drinking it all night the night before.

For the last 10 days, I have been FREE FREE FREE of it. Figure I've already saved about $150 or more. Sleeping very well, enjoying my days, and honestly... feeling kind of proud of myself for rising out of that virtual gutter.

I'm sending you all good thoughts for your "breakup."

BTW, I'm 48 and my 2 youngest left for college last fall.

oh2exhale

Missylou! Welcome! You're post cracked me up as well as made me say." yup, yup-I get it." It is me to a T. My boyfriend, Kendell Jackson, and I had date night every night. I'm an empty nester now - and it was tough. That relationship with wine was killing my self esteem, integrity, morals, better judgement and motivation-not to mention the health, safety and welfare of myself and others. It had to go. I hope you stick around here!((hugs))

NellieM

I am also a member of the wino club although Cabernet is my DOC, also have the empty nest plus a spouse who encourages me to drink with him and brings home bottles of good wine for me even when I ask him not to. Breaking up is hard to do but we have found someone new. Stay strong!
Nellie

Fandy

Char, Cab and Shiraz are not true friends, you will feel better and more like getting out when they are not hanging around sucking out all your energy.

in truth they depress you.

hope you are feeling better, get lots of fluids today any try to eat well. it gets better i promise you that.

bloss

I relate to this...Same here, Chardonnay, many types of grape...living in CA wine Growing area...Home Alone...50's, relapsed too many times to count...put the cork in for the last time...4/24/12...need to stop the isolation...

SamanthaIam

Thanks so much to everyone for sharing their stories! I had no idea there were so many of us in this situation. I guess I figured everyone else my age was in control and wise, enjoying the occasional glass of wine like real grownups ... thought I was the only one secretly abusing it. I truly appreciate all of you.

Yes, let's do this together, OK? I am so hopeful about a future without being enslaved to my habit.

missylou

I am so thankful I found this site! It's nice to hear, I am not alone in this. And, there are people who have been successful in giving it up for good & sound happy! I am with anyone who wants to beat this. I am on Day 3 today & will start antabuse also. I have done these things before, but I have to keep trying, so I feel hopeful. I am going to run errands today, go to the grocery store & get "real" food & have dinner with ex-coworker. Why I want to give all that up, I just don't know. Maybe I should stop worrying about the "why" & concentrate on the "how" I will stop. The "why" I drank will come later. Good day to everyone & hope all is well. Thanks for being my virtual friends!

Dee74

glad to have you with us missylou

D

Jimuk

welcome missylou, this is a nice place to be, I wish you well! Although I'm across the pond I will hold your hand if you hold mine. x

debsam

Oh you've got friends Missylou.....a whole bunch of us, right behind you.

Big hugs

Pojman

I found an interesting truth in this post. It is regarding the blinds. I have found that when I am in times of substance abuse, my blinds shut and unwelcoming. When I am clean/sober, the blinds are open and inviting.

I have learned to use the blinds as an indicator of my present health.

oh2exhale

Hi Missylou!
I was just wondering how you've been doing, good to see your post. Have you thought about getting to an AA meeting? You will find a ton of people just like us there - face to face. You can find info online about meetings in your area, I think there is an AA website. The first time you show up you can just have a seat in the meeting and when called on its OK to say, "Im just here to listen, Thanks". There are no requirements for sitting in on a meeting. Personally, I prefer the womens only meetings near my house, but any meeting is better than hole-ing up in the house alone with your thoughts. How has it been going for you? Were you able to start the
medications you wanted to? Hope everything is well, that you are sober and being gentle with yourself this weekend, take good care!

ExBudGal

Hi Missylou, Kendal Jackson and his pal Bud Weiser are no longer welcome in my house either. They were my favorite houseguests but became greedy and kept everyone else away as well. I'm over 50 too, and am just starting to embrace my new surroundings. There is a new world out there and I'm liking what I see. Welcome

CarolD

Welcome...

Good to know you are getting out and about.

I found my recovery when I was 53...a silver fox for sure...
I can absolutely tell you the last 23 years have been such an
intersting fulfilling adventure.....

This can be true for you as well..

SamanthaIam

bumping this thread for myself... also wondering where is missylou, and how are you doing?

Inca

Oh, Kendall Jackson Char. Evil I say!

Welcome and Hello! I would LOVE to hear from you what your thoughts are on Antabuse. Not to give medical advice, but your experience on how it's working for you mentally. I'm considering it as well because I want the option of drinking to be gone. This flip flopping back and forth in my mind of can I/can I not doesn't seem to be working.

Please post your experiences. Thank you xoxo

missylou

Hello SR peeps! I am doing well with the antabuse. On day 9 today! However, I have been in a slump thou. I have not gone to any meetings darn it. I like womens AA, lifering & WFS meetings, of which, I have in my city & really not far away either. I am not getting out much at all. Today, I just couldn't wake up this morning & went back to bed & slept till noon. I am not much of a nap person. When I got my antabuse, the DR also moved my anti-depressant up a notch, so I don't know if that has caused it. The other thing is, I retired/buy-out back in Feb, so I think I might be experiencing some sort of not working, not being around people thingy. So, the antabuse is doing it's job, taking away that drinking thought process. I think I have a tendency to be an emotional thinker, which leads me to think my emotions are real & my thoughts behind them are real, which leads to the thought to drink is real & I have to act on it. If that makes sense. Take care everybody, MissyLou

lifewithoutbooz

OMG Missylou! I can't believe you live in Colorado and I live in BC and we both had the same friend Char(donnay). Small world. I gave her the boot six days ago - she was just bringing me down. First few days are hard I know but things will get better. My husband quit with me (it was a battle to get him onboard but it was either the marriage or the booze and he picked me!) He quit successfully many years ago for about six years and he did it with Antabuse - just read up on the symptoms if you do slip and drink - just so you know what's happening. Some people are more sensitive than others but it's good to be prepared.

I'm 46 and I drank out of loneliness too for the past 10 years. You need to make a plan and stick with it. How you'll get support, what you'll do to keep busy - especially get out of the house - that's really important. Keep visiting SR and keep posting!!

lifewithoutbooz

Sorry I'm a bit slow today - didn't realize you're on Day 9 and Antabuse! Glad to here it's working. I think you're doing awesome - it's so great to have people to talk to that are in the same boat!