Need advice.
Grateful AA member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Need advice.
Tomorrow my dad's best friends are having a father's day BBQ. So many people like family will be there but they will ALL be drinking and most will be drunk. Do I go and hope I dont have a reaction to being around a lot of alcohol or stay away. I dont want to be around alcohol but I hate not feeling included and have to stay away bc I cant drink. They all know I am in AA so no one will offer me a drink but I just dont know what to do. My sponsor and others in AA said to have an escape plan but I dont have a car and people may be too drunk to drive me home. I am so confused bc I dont want to stay home by myself either all day tom. either. Any suggestions?
That's a tough one, Innerchild.
If you feel uneasy about going and you don't have an escape plan, then maybe you might want to rethink it. Is there any way that you could spend part of the day with your Dad?
If you feel uneasy about going and you don't have an escape plan, then maybe you might want to rethink it. Is there any way that you could spend part of the day with your Dad?
Grateful AA member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
My dad is playing golf all day with his buddies then meeting for the BBQ he will be toasted already on that course..I wish I knew someone well enough in AA to come.
ya know..it's Fathers Day. See your Dad. Im going to see mine and my family (who drinks) cant stand the sight of me (rightfully so) Just be in the moment (without alcohol) you will never get the time back you avoided with your dad.
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I truly don't know how you would react around people who are drinking or better yet getting drunk. If you know you can go to it and not drink then do it if not then don't go. Just remember it's only a few hour event and in time you will have to learn to be around people who will drink. Alcohol is not like cocaine that it's a social thing. Not saying to go to a bar or anything but remember alcohol is everywhere.
We have to put in the footwork. Call your sponsor and let them know what is happening (remind them), then ask if there is someone they know who may not be busy tomorrow. One way to get to know someone in AA is to reach out, get the ride and hang out together.
Breakfast sounds like a grand idea, too!
Or just call and talk with dad for a while, let him know it's too early for you to be around alcohol in any form and that you are upset but you can't make it.
Big hugs to you,
Breakfast sounds like a grand idea, too!
Or just call and talk with dad for a while, let him know it's too early for you to be around alcohol in any form and that you are upset but you can't make it.
Big hugs to you,
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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Your call...If you think you can handle that...Go for it...I know I was hanging onto my three weeks with my life...This wouldn't even be a consideration for me. If I had a way out maybe...But if I knew my dad was going to be drunk when he got there...I'd pass.
Grateful AA member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the middle of the woods, NJ
Posts: 567
Ill pray maybe if I go I bring my BB and secretly read it but I have a few hours to decide maybe I can get a ride home after I eat and then I dont have to stay late when the Manhattans come out and everyone is toasted not that I am into Manhattans anyway.
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