Day 3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Norway
Posts: 39
Day 3
Hi!
I am finally doing this. If I can make it I will feel like the luckiest person in the world. I still have much to live for, and have managed to keep my relationships with my loved ones despite my problem. I pray that I will always remember what I know now; that I am an alcoholic and that I can`t do this anymore. I`ve been sober for up to a year earlier, but it never sticks. I just want to be able to have a normal relationship with alcohol. So I try again. I try to drink different things, with different people, at different times, in different ways. But it doesn`t change the fact that once I take that first sip I can`t stop. Some times I can`t stop untill something really horrible happens, or untill I pass out. And then everything crashes and I have to put everything in me into fixing what I broke this time. I am so tired of it. I am tired of saying I`m sorry. I am tired of feeling like an *******. I am tired of beating myself up constantly for not being a stronger person. It is saturday night, it`s day 3 and I am praying really hard. Thank you!
I am finally doing this. If I can make it I will feel like the luckiest person in the world. I still have much to live for, and have managed to keep my relationships with my loved ones despite my problem. I pray that I will always remember what I know now; that I am an alcoholic and that I can`t do this anymore. I`ve been sober for up to a year earlier, but it never sticks. I just want to be able to have a normal relationship with alcohol. So I try again. I try to drink different things, with different people, at different times, in different ways. But it doesn`t change the fact that once I take that first sip I can`t stop. Some times I can`t stop untill something really horrible happens, or untill I pass out. And then everything crashes and I have to put everything in me into fixing what I broke this time. I am so tired of it. I am tired of saying I`m sorry. I am tired of feeling like an *******. I am tired of beating myself up constantly for not being a stronger person. It is saturday night, it`s day 3 and I am praying really hard. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Wow, you sound so much like me. I could have written every word of that! Welcome to Sober Recovery... I have been here not very long at all and am already finding it so beneficial. Congratulations on day three... well done, you are definitely strong enough to do this. If I am, you are too. Good luck and best wishes.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
HI and welcome!
Just stick around and you will be able to see reminders all the time. Tonight stay here and maybe try chat in the top right of this page.
I felt that lucky too except I will never try to drink again because of reading about relapses here and the posts of the folks who came back to tell how they fooled themselves into thinking they could drink normally again. I read those and took them to heart. I will have two years pretty soon and then every year another.
It took years for me to get sober, and another year to get over getting over it. I am not going through that again. Posts like your's remind me daily, hang in there with us.
Just stick around and you will be able to see reminders all the time. Tonight stay here and maybe try chat in the top right of this page.
I felt that lucky too except I will never try to drink again because of reading about relapses here and the posts of the folks who came back to tell how they fooled themselves into thinking they could drink normally again. I read those and took them to heart. I will have two years pretty soon and then every year another.
It took years for me to get sober, and another year to get over getting over it. I am not going through that again. Posts like your's remind me daily, hang in there with us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Norway
Posts: 39
Thank you so much for your responses! I imagine that all of you have been where I am now some time or another and your encouragement mean the world to me. Every other time I have tried to get sober there has been that devil on my shoulder saying: "Maybe I can drink, if only I do it this way or that way. If I`ve been able to be sober this long that definately means that I don`t have a problem!"
This time around I have to do this a different way, and one of those things means spending time on this site. And reaching out to people. I have always found excuses for not getting help: "I am too high functioning", "I just can`t deal with that right now", "I am too ashamed to tell anyone about this". Slowly I have comed to recognize that that little (or very loud sometimes) voice is my addiction. I feel ready to go to meetings. Not because I particularly want to, but because I have to. Nothing else has worked. Hopefully this will!
This time around I have to do this a different way, and one of those things means spending time on this site. And reaching out to people. I have always found excuses for not getting help: "I am too high functioning", "I just can`t deal with that right now", "I am too ashamed to tell anyone about this". Slowly I have comed to recognize that that little (or very loud sometimes) voice is my addiction. I feel ready to go to meetings. Not because I particularly want to, but because I have to. Nothing else has worked. Hopefully this will!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Goodfortune,
That's how I started out this time, and it worked. I reached out and did a 7day in hospital detox, and went both to AA meetings with a wonderful hone group I lucked into finding. It's funny but my kids who are grown said I just needed to cut down maybe, but that I didn't have a problem.
I think the biggest surprise was how much of a non event it is for others. But then again people don't gossip about good things do they?
What made the difference for me was being willing to do whatever it takes. BTW, after all the anxiety over going to a meeting it sure was an anticlimax when instead of a bunch of fanatics I found sone wonderful people who have been down my road and back.
They had part of what I wanted. Most of the rest I found here. But I too needed that local face to face support.
I believe in doing more than the minimum, and then I take what I can use and leave the rest.
Stick around long enough to help others and before you know it, you made it!
That's how I started out this time, and it worked. I reached out and did a 7day in hospital detox, and went both to AA meetings with a wonderful hone group I lucked into finding. It's funny but my kids who are grown said I just needed to cut down maybe, but that I didn't have a problem.
I think the biggest surprise was how much of a non event it is for others. But then again people don't gossip about good things do they?
What made the difference for me was being willing to do whatever it takes. BTW, after all the anxiety over going to a meeting it sure was an anticlimax when instead of a bunch of fanatics I found sone wonderful people who have been down my road and back.
They had part of what I wanted. Most of the rest I found here. But I too needed that local face to face support.
I believe in doing more than the minimum, and then I take what I can use and leave the rest.
Stick around long enough to help others and before you know it, you made it!
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