just a little update on step....
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
just a little update on step....
A little while back I changed my avater to a little cute smilie holding up a white flag and at that time that is EXACTLY how I felt. I was utterly defeated! I was scared to death of my addiction and absolutely hated the monster I created within. At that time I figured just putting the bottle down would be easier than the life I had created when alcohol was involved. I threw in the towel and threw up the white flag ..surrendered and quit! No more trying to be a normie....just used Anna's advice (given to someone else) "if you just take alcohol out of the equation it gets easier" I live by that!!
I just feel good here lately. I am starting to settle into the whole recovery thing and am happier now than I have been in a really long time...and best of all not scared anymore. I OWN MY ADDICTION IT NO LONGER RUNS ME! I see that now. I see that I am in control and make choices in every action I take.
The way I am living now is the ONLY way for me. I can't believe I wasted 8 years when all I had to do was put it down to see how beautiful life can be when you aren't just surviving but LIVING every single second for the moment it is and living life on it's terms not my own selfish alcoholic terms where if one little piffle comes along my world falls apart...not any more...I CHOOSE HOW TO REACT!
The following songs have helped me in recovery. I listen to them daily and when I feel weak I sing them to myself. Just wanted to share this to start out a great sober weekend with my friends at SR ....afterall, you guys did help me get here
CHRIS TOMLIN - WHITE FLAG (youtube it....it hits harder when you listen to it)
The battle rages on
As storm and tempest roar
We cannot win this fight
Inside our rebel hearts
We're laying down our weapons now
We raise our white flag
We surrender
All to You
We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won
Here on this Holy ground
You made a way for peace
Laying your body down
You took our rightful place
This freedom song is marching on
We lift the cross
Lift it high lift it high
SWITCH FOOT - I DARE YOU TO MOVE (played when it just "clicked" in my heart; that it was over.....the battle was done)
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next
[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be - DEE....sound familiar
[Chorus]
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before
:ghug3
I just feel good here lately. I am starting to settle into the whole recovery thing and am happier now than I have been in a really long time...and best of all not scared anymore. I OWN MY ADDICTION IT NO LONGER RUNS ME! I see that now. I see that I am in control and make choices in every action I take.
The way I am living now is the ONLY way for me. I can't believe I wasted 8 years when all I had to do was put it down to see how beautiful life can be when you aren't just surviving but LIVING every single second for the moment it is and living life on it's terms not my own selfish alcoholic terms where if one little piffle comes along my world falls apart...not any more...I CHOOSE HOW TO REACT!
The following songs have helped me in recovery. I listen to them daily and when I feel weak I sing them to myself. Just wanted to share this to start out a great sober weekend with my friends at SR ....afterall, you guys did help me get here
CHRIS TOMLIN - WHITE FLAG (youtube it....it hits harder when you listen to it)
The battle rages on
As storm and tempest roar
We cannot win this fight
Inside our rebel hearts
We're laying down our weapons now
We raise our white flag
We surrender
All to You
We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won
Here on this Holy ground
You made a way for peace
Laying your body down
You took our rightful place
This freedom song is marching on
We lift the cross
Lift it high lift it high
SWITCH FOOT - I DARE YOU TO MOVE (played when it just "clicked" in my heart; that it was over.....the battle was done)
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next
[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be - DEE....sound familiar
[Chorus]
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 737
Very cool post, stepping! I'm so proud of you for having come this far.
I had forgotten that I used to live like this, day to day, moment to moment. Funny how easily we forget the torture we went through. Thanks for the reminder. Never again.
Originally Posted by stepping 
and living life on it's terms not my own selfish alcoholic terms where if one little piffle comes along my world falls apart.
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Thanks RD! I remember you wrote on one of my first posts, "thank you for posting it helped me today" YOU HELP/HELPED ME TOO!! ...we all need those reminders RD...I read somewhere the brain is programmed to forget the bad...that's why SR is SOOO important in my recovery I have to NEVER get complacent like I have before.......I need reminders where I was....and I am not looking back cause I am NOT going that way EVER again!
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