relapse of the mind
 

I had a brief but disturbing relapse of the mind this afternoon. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with unpacking from my recent move and while taking a break i had a craving to drink. Not so bad that i had an urge to go buy alcohol but if there had been any in the house i would have been all over it. Then i began to talk myself out of my alcoholism. That i could handle my drinking since i'd been doing so well in my sobriety. The worst part was that after saying "no, i am an alcoholic" i swept the incident under the rug for the rest of the day. It wasn't until i spoke with my husband about it and he told me that i was due for a meeting did it hit me that my mind had relapsed. I'm looking up meetings for my new area for tomorrow. I'm a bit disappointed in myself but i know there are going to be moments like this throughout my life. My sobriety has been going fantastic overall so i suppose that's part of the reason this bummed me out. The positive i'm taking from this is that i recognized the craving and the trigger and that i utilized my support and asked for help. Honesty and humility saved me today.

I'm telling you Grits...I hit at least one meeting a day for my first six months...Stay connected...I'd hate to see you start over. Meetings and stepwork...Got to have it.

I've been woefully lax. I'm comitting again. It is a priority. I just started getting cocky in my sobriety and i know what that leads to.

It happens, friend. Just fight it off. You know what to do - we're here for you too. Being "lax" is our worst enemy ... been there, done that 1001 times. Hang in there. You know what to do! :)

That's awesome that you took a long hard look at yourself and took action. That is the opposite of complacent. This is what is going keep you on your sober path. It is frightening in early sobriety how quickly a thought can take on it's own life.

Search a speaker tape and take a listen. You can have a private speaker meeting in your new home!! Sandy B. has a step study (Saturday Morning Live) when he chaired a meeting every Saturday morning, I think there were at least 100 people present at those meetings back in 1994. Sandy was a pilot.... Marty J. talks about what it's like being new in AA, Bea M. was a nun who enjoyed the wine, Marty M. was the first female in AA, Clarence S. was the youngest of the first 100....

I'm thinking about HALT ..be careful not to become overly
Hungry..Angry...Lonely or Tired.

Glad to know you will soon be connecting to a new local AA group
::yup:
I've relocated several times ..the format differed..accents were
""odd".."..the size and rooms changed..but always the hand of
AA was extended.

I'm in Milwaukee proper now. Close to the East Side and Downtown. I've started looking up meetings. YIKES! Now i'm overwhelmed in a good way! There's a ton to choose from. Wow. I knew there'd be a lot but this is crazy. Hahaha. Better too many than not enough in this case. This was one of the reasons i was so excited to move to this area.

Found an Alano Club 10 minutes from my place with a 12:15 meeting. There are lots of nice places nearby for lunch too, lol. There's alosa a 12 Step club 10-15 minutes away from my place. Talk about centrally located!

Good job on getting that list of meetings!:c011:

Don't be dissappointed in yourself - it sounds to me like one of those growing experiences that aren't necessarily fun at the time. And really, you've got a lot going on. Usually when I start thinking about a drink, it's because I'm feeling overwhelmed, since I'm supposed to have it all under control (like that's ever going to happen!). I have to keep reminding myself to slow things down, appreciate the moment, be good to myself, etc....... still learning, but when I make the effort to practice, I feel so much more peaceful.

I hope you find a great meeting nearby and go to one of those nice places for lunch, too!:scoregood

Call it a relapse if you want, but can I suggest you got a signal about where you were at and you chose to go down the road of (appropriately) recalibrating, and taking stock ?

I agree Instant...I think it's more like your Higher Power tapping you on the back and saying...It's time to go meet some new friends.