hypochondriac

One of my drinks of choice was Gin and tonic. Tonight for some reason I've been drinking tonic water all night...then I found a cigarette in one of my old handbags and I smoked it I know this isn't a quitting smoking support site but for me the two go together so much.

The thing that scares me is that I have a very boozy event to go to tomorrow, I can't get out of it, and I'm a bit worried now. People have been giving me a hard time about not drinking and I'm worried I'll slip under the slightest pressure.

I just wanted to post something here to keep me accountable...

It's just a cigarette, it doesn't mean I have to start drinking again but I'm such an all or nothing person I'm worried I will think I can just drink tomorrow and get back to sobriety the next day...

awuh1

GR8 idea to remain accountable. Nice job seeing the slippery slope ahead of time.

MycoolFitz

So maybe something besides tonic? Just find and stay with what works, including posting. Best to you.

Mainza

I have a challenge this weekend (wedding) as well hypochondriac and I am also an all or nothing person. I quit tobacco almost 300 days ago and I have been sober for a little over 6 months. Just imagine how much better you will feel after navigating safely through the 'very dangerous ground.' You will wake up feeling much better. Do not beat yourself up over a lousy cigarette. It isn't worth it.

hypochondriac

I have no idea why I decided to drink it, it's been in my fridge since I quit. I've had the odd one before but tonight it made me feel like a drinker again.. It'll be going on my list of things not to drink now.

Leemzer

I can see that, Hypo. Tonic, itself, to me, tastes like alcohol. I would stay away from it for a while, if not forever. Don't beat yourself up over the cigarette. It was not a drink. Just don't get more cigs. You are very wise to see this ahead of time. I'm with coolfitz, no tonic tomorrow...something far more boring and non-reminiscent. Hang in there!
Lee

DarkDays

Hi, I attended a very boozy event last weekend , was very refreshing to see lots of drunks slobbering and talking bs .Just remember they have to drink .

You will feel so good the day after I promise.

Fallow

Stay strong Hypo. You are one of the people here whos helped me out a bunch and I really appreciate all your posts.

riggedgame

It has helped me to get that first non-alcoholic beverage into my hand immediately when I arrive at such an event. I don't know why it helps so much; maybe it establishes on some level that that's what I'm drinking that night. Reordering the same thing is just sort of rote, just kind of happens without thought. Exactly like drinking does, once I've had one.

No pretending, no "maybe just this once." You can do it!

Jeni26

Hypo, you are so self aware, and have learned so much about yourself and what triggers you.
You have recognised this may be a problem and now you need to be proactive.
If you absolutely HAVE to go to this event (and I would be tempted to give it a miss), then make sure you have an escape plan. Stay for a while, then leave if it looks like you're going to be tempted.
Spend time beforehand thinking through what you will feel like the next morning if you drink. Let me tell you, it is absolutely the worst thing, that self hating, pitying person is re-born instantly!
Stay true to yourself. I believe in you xxx

Peter G

These hiccups can be brutal amigo. My first year or so I was littered with them.

I have to ask, is there absolutely NO way you can get out of attending this event? If 'no' is the answer, really it's time - like right now - to hit the drawing board and provide yourself escape routes and plans, should things get squirrelly. You know what I mean, excuses like "I've got a root canal appointment I can't miss", or "my grandma needs a ride to church, gotta go" kinda thing. Have a friend call your phone every 30 minutes or so, or set up your phone's alarm to ring on the hour. Trust me, a phone call interruption during any event is an easy way to duck out of Dodge without spending an hour having to explain yourself.

How about a sober buddy attending with ya, or at least utilizing someone aware of your struggle who can literally yank you by the collar if it looks like a bomb is about to drop?

Those people giving you a hard time for NOT drinking, grrr... aargh. Those folks always have me seeing red. All fun and games to those knuckleheads, meanwhile it's life or death to us. Is there any way you can wind up and punch them square in the face? Sorry. A little gallows humor. Seriously though, those folks are horrid for adding pressure in such a callous way, so I'd be very cognizant of their actions and motivations during every second of this event.

One bit of advice I can definitely suggest is that you stay far away from the few doing the most prodding about you not drinking, or at least warn them you are not playing around, that any wannabe cleverness on their part will be uncool and absolutely relationship ending stuff. That, or pack a tazer and zap their a$$es every time they pull that crap.

I dunno, here's my thing with events and such... I'll never again paint myself into the corner of having to attend anything that carries with it a risk to my sobriety, even in the smallest way. That's brutally hard to do sometimes, given my industry, but it's not impossible. And should I end up harmlessly at some booze soaked event by chance and feel that familiar tingle, I've got a checklist of things/actions/excuses I can utilize inside a New York Minute to make a lightning quick exit. I know it's kinda crappy to hear about what I do since you mentioned having no choice, but I'm putting it out there for future reference.

At any rate, I do feel for ya. Take extreme care and you'll be fine. Just remember, what might be no big deal for normal people is a game changer for us, where drinking is concerned. Listen for that tiny little booze salesman inside your head telling you "a few will be fine", because that little bugger is NOT you, it's your addictive voice. It's a scum-sucking rat dropping. It's Ebola. It's flesh eating bacteria. It's a Justin Beiber song. Quote me on that. Don't let that voice sucker you into anything.

positivelady67

Hi hypochondriac

I had to respnd to your post even though I am a newbie and 10 weeks sober, I agree with the other posts don't beat yourself up over the cigarette it was not a drink. Also with the tonic water you realised that it was not a good idea to have drunk it and have addressed that.

I to had an event 1 week after spending 5 weeks in a treatment centre, it was my mums 65th birthday party and I just had to attend. Everyone was drunk except me and do you know what it felt great. I am not saying that I didn't have the odd irriatable feeling but on the whole, I enjoyed the night, I remembered the night, I didn't embarass myself or others and felt great in the morning unlike the rest of them. You can do just take one hour at a time.

Ally
x

hypochondriac

Thank you everyone. I have a plan to escape early before the evening descends into complete drunkenness, but can't avoid it completely. I have done quite a few events sober and felt so great about it. I was just amazed at how a few reminders of my drinking days could make me feel weak again.

All of your posts have given me strength this morning Thank you x

stillsleeping

Hey Hypo, so is tonight the night? How you feelin today girl? xxx

stillsleeping

Haha! YOu beat me to it! Okay, got the answer to my question. Sorted!

xx

flutter

Come here tonight and let us know how it goes! Too bad you can't get out of it, I hate booze filled events. For what it's worth, I stopped drinking plain diet pepsi for like 2 years because it was my most common mixer when I drank.. now I drink a ton of water, and a diet root beer occasionally.

hypochondriac

Well, I got through it. Still sober My escape plan wasn't perfect but I survived. A ton of people kept on questioning me about my drinking, I'm not sure they'll ever stop, but I don't really think it should be necessary for me to come clean about my alcoholic status to anyone but my family. Mainly I was just really really bored. It wasn't like the people drinking were being highly annoying, more that I just couldn't stand being at an event where the main focus was drinking, which annoys me slightly because I thought I'd be okay being sociable and sober. I don't want to be the one avoiding sociable events because of the amount of drinking going on but really I couldn't find anything to hold my interest.

I think I still need to be avoiding stuff like this. And definitely avoiding anything I might have used as a mixer, except water There was definitely a bit of complacency causing this wobble.

Thank you everyone for your support x

PeacefulRain

Good job!!!!

Jeni26

Well done you, so proud xxx