MalkavianEmily

Maybe it's because I'm tired. Maybe my blood sugar's low, I don't know. But today... today the AV just will not leave me alone.
From before I got up, while I was out shopping, and on the way back, she's been with me. Telling me how much better things were before I quit. Telling me that I can feel that way again, all I have to do is listen to her...
I quit because I'm going back to university in September. But... I'm scared. I'm not sure I can do it. Scratch that, I'm sure that I can't do it.
I need to get through today. I know that it will pass. I know that things will get better. At least, I hope so. So far, it's been a bit of a rollercoaster these last 10 days. Just for today, I will do whatever it takes. For the next 7 hours, I will not worry about what that is. But I will. not. drink.
Thanks for listening folks. I just needed to say that.

Sapling

I'm not going to tell you how you should seek your sobriety...But I will ask you a question....Why are you trying to do this alone?...Why not use support from other people doing the same thing?...I think this site is great...I need more than that...I need face to face live talking with other alcoholics...It seems to work.

doggonecarl

In early recovery, it's a good idea to avoid being:
H - hungry
A - angry
L - lonely
T - tired

Sounds like you got two out of four. Grab a bite to eat and take a nap. Then log back to SR and tell us how you feel.

Weasel1966

Being wobbly does not mean you will fall.

Thanks for reaching out to be stableized a bit.

Holding our hand you have the strength to re- assert your absolute decision.

You will not drink today or ever again.

Best to you!

Ken

Luling

Hang in there, Em. Try a walk, a warm bath, have some tea, watch a comedy. Maybe throw some ice cream into the mix if you want to get crazy. You can do this. Stay close to the forum, okay?

By the way, you'll be fine at university. It's scary, but once you go back, you'll see ... you're smart and you can handle it. And you'll be so glad you're sober.

MalkavianEmily

I've got an AA meeting on Friday. I'm pretty much tied up tomorrow, otherwise I'd be looking for one to go to then. I have to take my mum to the eye hospital in the morning, and the doctor's in the afternoon.
And yes, the meetings are really helpful. Yesterday wasn't so bad. Tomorrow can wait till tomorrow. All my contacts are in my phone, which isn't so good since it's away being mended.
I've got a game evening to go to. I'll be back later. Hopefully my phone will be mended, and I can talk to people again.
And thanks folks, you're the best, you know that?

Payton

Let's think just about today. Not about September, not about tomorrow. Just today. You can do anything for 24 hours. It's your AV telling you how much "better" things are when you drink and that you can't make it in the future without drinking - but you know that's not true, or you wouldn't be here. Tell her to screw off, and do those things that you know help comfort you in a healthy way. First, eat. Next, rest. Post here. You can do this. If you can get through that music festival without drinking, you can get through a weary, dreary day. I know the strength is in you.

Sapling

What about today?...I went after sobriety like a hungy animal...They told me to do 90 meetings in 90 days...I doubled that. Everything they tod me to do I did...That's how bad i wanted it. I'll tell you what....It was worth it...It get's easier and better for me every day.....Put the effort into it that you put into drinking...And you'll be OK.

Sapling

Make that half the effort...You put into drinking.

sugarbear1

Listen to Marty J. on xa-speakers.org

You've made a commitment to stay stopped. Try to let that AV know you might entertain it tomorrow, then try to move on to something good...what can you do that is nice for you? Think about a bubble bath, a good book, something you like. You don't have to engage that voice today!

You can keep staying stopped. YOU know how much better you are feeling today, so don't let that AV get anywhere, kick it out the window right now!

ACOAHappyNow

I agree with everyone, let tomorrow worry about itself, and be nice to yourself today!

You will do fine at University, in fact you will do great!

You know what I realized lately, now that I'm pushing 51 and as old as dirt, LOL? I realized that all the times I was afraid I would fail...I never did. I always did okay. And you know what? You will do okay too. Please trust this old lady.

Be good to you today. Sugar might be a nice thing, or some comfort foods, and a warm bath, and a nap or going to bed a little earlier than usual to get more rest.

Tomorrow you will feel better..as long as the AV doesn't win today!

MalkavianEmily

Well, I got to my game session, went with a friend to the supermarket to get some pasta and a diet coke, and had a nice relaxing time. Which was good. An hour and a half on the bus there, same coming back. So while I left at 5pm, I've not been back long.

Why not find a meeting today? Well, I don't drive, and that limits things a bit, well quite a lot. There are two meetings I can get to on foot. The others I need one or more buses for. I know that sounds like an excuse. And, to a certain extent, it is.
I'm making an appointment to see the doctor. They were so effing determined to get me to say how much I drank, well... they can effing well help.
And yes, today, the AV didn't win. I'm going to see what meetings there are tomorrow that I can get to, and take it from there.
Thanks folks. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. But a busy one, so I should be ok.

MalkavianEmily

Well, have managed to find meetings for Tuesday and Wednesday lunchtimes. They're a bus and a train away, but they're a start. They have to be lunchtime meetings because I'm busy those evenings. Dunno if I can make both yet, if only because of train fares, but still...
Thanks again folks.