Me73

I know in order to change I need to quit the booze, but feel that, maybe more importantly I need to make other changes in order to do this (or maybe that's just an excuse, or me not seeing things clearly as I'm a bit drunk, or else I wouldn't be writing this, pathetic, I know).

Like many drinkers, I'm a mentalist, and symptoms seem to be getting worse the older I get.

One of my biggest problems is my self esteem has become virtually non existent (to the point where I'm always paranoid about what others think of me, constant self criticism, self hatred, which disappears when I drink) I don't even feel really depressed, as I have done in the past, it feels more like I've just given up on living. I go to work, look after my son, I'm not feeling down all the time, but I'm not feeling happy either.

Basically, in order to change my life, and to stop relying so heavily on booze, I need to really boost my self esteem, give myself some reasons to improve and start living my life again (I know, my son should be reason enough).

As pathetic as it sounds, I don't really know where to start.

What are your best tips for raising self esteem?

CarolD

I found by quitting....I was able to make all sorts of positive
choices with a clear mind.
I use AA for my new lifestyle....works great for me...

Blessings to you and your son..Welcome to our recovery community...

Jitterbugg

Well...when I quit drinking, I lost close to 50 pounds of flab that I had built up from years of boozing. I looked about 10 years younger and my self-esteem improved dramatically as a result. I was miserable when I was drinking and my self-worth was in the gutter. Just by eliminating alcohol from my life, I was able to completely transform myself mentally and physically. Give it a try! I guarantee results!

Anna

I was very much like you when I stopped drinking, and I knew I had to make desperate changes.

To begin to build my dismal self-esteem I turned to 'The Seat of the Soul' by Gary Zukav. 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle is brilliant. And Marianne Williams 'A Return to Love' is also excellent.

oh2exhale

Hello and welcome- you are in the right place, I mean here on this website and emotionally wanting some real change. Wander around on the posts here and keep coming back- be gentle with yourself and just for today don't drink! We are glad you're here. (Hugs)

Me73

Thank you for your replies. I was on a total downer when I wrote that, but instead of wakening up tomorrow, feeling guilty, and feeling embarassed about spouting crap online (then deleting it), I'll try to think of the positives, that I stopped texting my sister before telling her how I was feeling, and worrying her, and I'll try to resist feeling ashamed and deleting this tomorrow. It's that kind of crap that'll just put me right back in the same place in 2 days time.

Well done to the both of you! I was on here before, only did 6 months, but will probably have to come back, and do better

bloss

A Long time ago in a meeting, someone shared "it's none of our business what others think of us" that really helped me...another person shared that most people are so absorbed in their lives, they are too busy to analyze if we "measure up"...

hypochondriac

This is probably gonna sound like some kind of conspiracy to make you quit drinking but...

Quitting drinking really got rid of those self esteem issues for me Me... I hated myself for drinking every night, I lost the will to live, I was paranoid that everyone knew I had a drink problem, that I was going to lose my job, my health... It was a poor excuse for an existence.

After the initial trauma of quitting my self esteem took a huge boost because I'd done something I never though I could do, actually stop drinking! The guilt and shame started to leave me because I was no longer drinking my life away and keeping secrets (I told my family after a month or so). I began to feel better physically and mentally and started noticing all these reasons why I wanted to live.

Before I came to SR I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to make myself feel better without having to stop drinking. I had a sneaking suspicion that alcohol was causing a lot of my problems but I had no idea that it was practically all of them. I was hanging on to the hope that if I just sorted out this and that issue then I would miraculously turn into a normal drinker and I wouldn't have to give up my addiction...

Things will start getting better once you do quit.

Welcome to SR x

Me73

I'll check them out, Anna. I liked The Power Of Now by Tolle (forgot all about it till now, LOL). Thanks!

Thanks oh2, good advice, be gentle with myself. I'm my own worst enemy. Not used to letting out my feelings, which doesn't do me any good, but glad I did (I think). Hopefully won't beat myself up about this when I wake up (I know, I'm a total mentalist!).