Innerchild

I feel like women do not like me or I find female friends who have issues like me and as intense as me and then the relationship ends. Even in the rooms I feel more comfortable around the men bc I am not really approached by women. I do not know if its my own paranoia or its true. Something I have to cover in therapy bc I need to know what I am doing wrong so I can change it.

I am a nice, compassionate loyal friend I just dont get it.

I also feel I am 32 and being single really bothers me. I actually have a boyfriend who is now living in Tx and eventually wants me to move there. I just dont feel like I am loved enough. I want to get married start having kids.

Yes, I have to focus on my sobriety but I just feel like there is something wrong with me. It bothers me more sober!

I wish I could have someone folllow me around for a few weeks and anaylize me lol

tomsteve

"I wish I could have someone folllow me around for a few weeks and anaylize me lol "

got a sponsor?
working the steps?
i am gonna guess that "in the rooms" is 12 step recovery meetings? if so, you are in a good place. the steps fix us and shoiw us how to get our self esteem back.
got a sponsor?
working the steps?

one thing i had to accept is that, for a relationship with the opposite sex, i will only attract someone as sick as me.

got a sponsor?
working the steps?
"Yes, I have to focus on my sobriety but I just feel like there is something wrong with me. It bothers me more sober!"

got a sponsor?
working the steps?

Tom444

Sounds like you lack some social skills and self esteem. You may be too nice to other people and a bit of social anxiety. Its really hard for people like you to get respect from others but don't try to fix this issue by drinking alcohol. That is how I became an an alcoholic in record time.

Innerchild

I go to AA meetings everyday and I am on Step 2 with my sponsor and have no intentions of drinking over this. I pray, work the steps and will make me a better person. I am social but I dont have the highest self steem.

Ps. Tom what does "people like you" mean? I am in recovery just like yourself I find that a little offensive.

Anna

I also had a very hard time with having and keeping women friends. I tried to be kind and caring, but friendships just didn't last, unless I really pushed. And, like you, I felt more comfortable with men.

But, a strange thing happened in recovery. Very early on, I knew I had to remove a few people from my life, women, and I did. They were women who were essentially offering nothing to me in terms of friendship and support. Almost immediately, two women came into my life, as if they had been waiting in the wings. Both of these women became dear friends and one was a true mentor. I wouldn't be where I am today without them.

Tom444

InnerChild - I meant people who lack self confidence in general, nothing offensive. May be that was a wrong conclusion.

Innerchild

Thanks Anna. I do believe you. Like attracts like. Just spoke to my sponsor over it and she understood me. I feel better about it now.

Its okay Tom just a misunderstanding

Makub

as for me relationship with the opposite sex is like a huge relapse...

FredG

Everything happens for a reason, even if it's not evident at the time and everything happens at exactly the right time and place.

What it really looks like to me though, (and I'm certainly no psychologist) is that the issue aren't outside, but inside. You don't need anyone to follow you around and analyze you, you're doing a good enough job following yourself around. Quit judging yourself. If you're working the program and have done a step 4, 5, and 6 then maybe it's time to do it again. I've done 4 and every one seems to come up with more stuff from my past that I hadn't looked at in the one before. If you haven't yet done one then grab 3 pads of paper, 3 pens, and a mirror.

Label the 1st Pad 'Good' for all your good points, the 2nd 'Workable' for all your attributes that can be improved and the 3rd 'Bad' for the ones you want to get rid of. Prop the mirror up in front of you, sit down, start writing and every now and then look up at the problem.

You are a great person. Everyone that is meant to, will realize it at some point and the others ... don't matter. Point is ... RELAX ... let it happen.