Drunk again!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Drunk again!
Hi my name is colin from uk and new to any kind of forum so please be patient.I have had a problem with abusing alcohol for the best part of thirty years(Im 43).I have lost friendships,relationships,jobs and my will to live on many occasions trying to drink properly.I have been attending AA for 7 Years almost consistently and got 3 and half years sober at one time.Do not know if I can face all the long time sober people that seem to attend the group I go to and feel there smugness again and feel very underacheaved and little.Would just like to be happy in life sober but find it hard particularly in times of stress.My last drinking after 2 years sober was 2 cans of beer one night,week later 2 cans of beer,week later stressful sitution coming up next day drank all night to pyscally not able to drink any more.My will to keep trying is thin and understand when AA says people go to lengths of insanity or death now.Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by colinw 
I have lost friendships,relationships,jobs and my will to live on many occasions trying to drink properly.I have been attending AA for 7 Years almost consistently and got 3 and half years sober at one time.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Colin!
You not alone and you picked a great place to come to! I had some good sobriety time, too - in fact, I got sober twice and went to AA faithfully for years inbetween relapses. I still don't entirely understand what I was thinking when I started drinking again. Duh....
I know you'll find lots of support here - this place motivated me to get sober again and continues to be my lifeline. Welcome to our family!
You not alone and you picked a great place to come to! I had some good sobriety time, too - in fact, I got sober twice and went to AA faithfully for years inbetween relapses. I still don't entirely understand what I was thinking when I started drinking again. Duh....
I know you'll find lots of support here - this place motivated me to get sober again and continues to be my lifeline. Welcome to our family!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North America
Posts: 1,628
3+ years is nothing to shake a stick at Colin. Just because you have slipped, does not mean that has gone to waist---what is more important is your determination not to turn these slips into a free fall.
I understand why AA elivates those with longer periods of sobriety, and celibrates them. Its cool that they do so, and it is motivating to those who are able to keep it going. I also remember, how during my first week, i was inspired in a very real way by those on this site who had only13 days, or 21 some days, when I had less then 5. I was trying to comprehend how they had made it that far, and looking forward to being able to reach one month, let alone 3 months etc.
because of what you have been able to do in the past, you yourself know that you can do it again, and in so doing, perhaps provide inspiration to those around you who are just getting started. after all, the true purpose, down deep, of AA isn't to get sober time in order to smugly look down on others, but rather to inspire and assist those around us as we all move forward in terms of personal growth. I'm sure that is the real reason (I would hope) of any program.
Remember what is most important; that you not allow these slips to trigger the desease within you that is an inabilty to control alcohol. Thats the thing about alcoholism, we have choice over the first drink, or perhaps the first few, but once that switch is flipped, it turns into a binge with responcible behavior be dammed. This is why strive not to drink at all--because its the only way to prevent that switch from being thrown.
So listen; regroup, forgive yourself and be humbled by your own humanity, and get back up. You haven't lost the war, just a few scurmishes. The battle is still ongoing; for personal deveopment, for professional advancement, for meaning and love in family and personal life. In those areas, thank God, your slips didn't cause vast damage, and by getting back into the fight, they won't.
We learn from each mistake, and can become stronger thereby. I have read so many times about indivdiuals with five or 10 or 20 years that slipped and then fell back into drinking to such a degree that it destroyed them--this is the thing I must fight to remember, for like all my fellows, I am subject to forget what it means to be alcoholic. This has been a reminder for you; now you can use this, to remind others, and serve a greater purpose.
I'm glad you are here and posting dude. Welcome to SR.
See you on the boards~~~~~
I understand why AA elivates those with longer periods of sobriety, and celibrates them. Its cool that they do so, and it is motivating to those who are able to keep it going. I also remember, how during my first week, i was inspired in a very real way by those on this site who had only13 days, or 21 some days, when I had less then 5. I was trying to comprehend how they had made it that far, and looking forward to being able to reach one month, let alone 3 months etc.
because of what you have been able to do in the past, you yourself know that you can do it again, and in so doing, perhaps provide inspiration to those around you who are just getting started. after all, the true purpose, down deep, of AA isn't to get sober time in order to smugly look down on others, but rather to inspire and assist those around us as we all move forward in terms of personal growth. I'm sure that is the real reason (I would hope) of any program.
Remember what is most important; that you not allow these slips to trigger the desease within you that is an inabilty to control alcohol. Thats the thing about alcoholism, we have choice over the first drink, or perhaps the first few, but once that switch is flipped, it turns into a binge with responcible behavior be dammed. This is why strive not to drink at all--because its the only way to prevent that switch from being thrown.
So listen; regroup, forgive yourself and be humbled by your own humanity, and get back up. You haven't lost the war, just a few scurmishes. The battle is still ongoing; for personal deveopment, for professional advancement, for meaning and love in family and personal life. In those areas, thank God, your slips didn't cause vast damage, and by getting back into the fight, they won't.
We learn from each mistake, and can become stronger thereby. I have read so many times about indivdiuals with five or 10 or 20 years that slipped and then fell back into drinking to such a degree that it destroyed them--this is the thing I must fight to remember, for like all my fellows, I am subject to forget what it means to be alcoholic. This has been a reminder for you; now you can use this, to remind others, and serve a greater purpose.
I'm glad you are here and posting dude. Welcome to SR.
See you on the boards~~~~~
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Colin, there is no judgment here. We get it. I have been in and out of the AA rooms for 3 years and only recently picked up my 90 day chip. This is a tough thing we're doing, maybe one of the hardest things EVER. One of the guys in my home group, who I really admire, went back out after 14 years of sobriety. He has 4 years again now. Someone else went back out after over 20 years, but she now has 2 years and going strong. It happens. The only failure is in giving up and letting alcohol win. Please don't do that. Keep trying no matter what. Go to any lengths. It's worth it.
Glad you're here.
Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Yes, I totally agree. This is really tough, we understand.
There aren't any of us who have managed it straight off, and no-one here judges. I am really early in sobriety, but when I slipped, I was scared of facing all those who supported me, both on here and in the meeting rooms and I nearly gave it all up.
But that would have been so wrong. I was welcomed back with open arms.
Don't let pride stop you. You had a long sober time, time that seems a million miles away for me at the moment.
It is never wasted, you have ready learned so much. You can do this. We are all here to support you x
There aren't any of us who have managed it straight off, and no-one here judges. I am really early in sobriety, but when I slipped, I was scared of facing all those who supported me, both on here and in the meeting rooms and I nearly gave it all up.
But that would have been so wrong. I was welcomed back with open arms.
Don't let pride stop you. You had a long sober time, time that seems a million miles away for me at the moment.
It is never wasted, you have ready learned so much. You can do this. We are all here to support you x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Learn from your mistake and move on.
colinw, do you suffer from depression or anxiety? If so, have you ever thought about going to your doctor some anti-depression pills. A lot of people on here take them and it seem like it really helps with depression. I myself take them too.
colinw, do you suffer from depression or anxiety? If so, have you ever thought about going to your doctor some anti-depression pills. A lot of people on here take them and it seem like it really helps with depression. I myself take them too.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Colin,
Welcome. I had no problem drinking properly, and few realized how much I drank because my tolerance to alcohol had grown such that I had to drink 2 or three an hour from wake up to sleeping just to avoid withdrawal and to carry on. With all that control it still progressed, as I had to drink more and more just to be functional, and appear sober. When you manage to not lose your wife and possessions, and the esteem of family and friends, I then found my body deteriorating and death was a probability in the not too distant future.
See I had no problem drinking, until I did.
I have not relapsed and won't only because I can make that choice sober, and won't go back to not having a choice.
I do understand as I loved drinking when it was voluntary. Not so much once it became mandatory. Just do a lot of reading and don't miss the chat rooms in the top right of the blue menu bar. You can click on "New Posts" and read the newest posts here from all the forums. You can also see all of yours by clicking on "My Posts" up there.
If you click on a user's name you can go to their profile and under statistics see all their posts, or just their threads they started. This is a post of mine and would show up under all posts in my profile. You started this "thread," I am making a post in your thread.
That is really all you need to know for this forum.
Welcome!
Welcome. I had no problem drinking properly, and few realized how much I drank because my tolerance to alcohol had grown such that I had to drink 2 or three an hour from wake up to sleeping just to avoid withdrawal and to carry on. With all that control it still progressed, as I had to drink more and more just to be functional, and appear sober. When you manage to not lose your wife and possessions, and the esteem of family and friends, I then found my body deteriorating and death was a probability in the not too distant future.
See I had no problem drinking, until I did.
I have not relapsed and won't only because I can make that choice sober, and won't go back to not having a choice.
I do understand as I loved drinking when it was voluntary. Not so much once it became mandatory. Just do a lot of reading and don't miss the chat rooms in the top right of the blue menu bar. You can click on "New Posts" and read the newest posts here from all the forums. You can also see all of yours by clicking on "My Posts" up there.
If you click on a user's name you can go to their profile and under statistics see all their posts, or just their threads they started. This is a post of mine and would show up under all posts in my profile. You started this "thread," I am making a post in your thread.
That is really all you need to know for this forum.
Welcome!
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