vaguy

Please do not just pounce on my because I posted here therefore I must be an alcoholic.

I am 34 years old with a wonderful wife and 6 month old son. I hold a good job and have had no issue in terms of work performance. However I do like to drink in the evenings sometimes without my wife knowing about it. I will sneak into the basement where the fridge is kept to hold my beer. Lately I have been sneaking shots of cheap crap like old crow or ancient age before a beer. This happens about every other night during your average week. Do you think I just need to quit?

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It's really up to you to decide if alcohol is causing you problems in your life. If you're unsure, try quitting for a specified period of time - say a month with no alcohol and see how you feel.

I know that hiding your drinking from your wife is a big red flag. It's something most of us have done. And, you should know that alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse if you don't stop drinking.

Sapling

Welcome to SR vaguy...Nobody can tell you that you are an alcoholic but you. Doctor's can't even tell you that. I noticed early on in life that I didn't know when to start...And once I started...I didn't know when to stop. I lived like that for a long time...And it got worse for me...It is progressive. When I tried to quit on my own and couldn't...I knew I was beat. I am an alcoholic....And for me...One drink will probably kill me.

doggonecarl

Simple test. Quit for ninety days. If you don't have a problem with alcohol, it should be easy to go three months without a drink. If you struggle, or fail, revisit the question of if you have a problem or not.

Oh, and welcome to SR.

Blessed to be sober 20 months.

Jitterbugg

In hindsight, I can say that my drinking started becoming a problem when I felt the need to hide it from others. Normal drinkers don't feel the need to conceal their alcohol intake.

suki44883

We don't "pounce" on anyone here. Only you can decide if you are "alcoholic" or not. But, labels don't matter in the grand scheme. If you feel like alcohol is causing problems, or even if you are concerned that it might or that you may be drinking a little too much, then you are in the right place.

You will find a lot of support here, whether you feel you are alcoholic or not. There is never anything wrong with looking at ourselves and evaluating where we are. I hope you'll hang around and feel free to post whenever you want. We all need support, and we are glad you are here. Welcome to SR!

Tippingpoint

Well, your drinking has gone to an unhealthy place. I was very similar...in those moments when you're clearly over the line...sneaking a shot of booze to chase a high, you must know it as I always did.

If you allow things to go unchecked your drinking will get more and more out of control. You'll have times when you won't be available should your wife and daughter need you. Your anxiety over drinking will grow and your self esteem will slowly diminish and everything important to you will suffer for it.

I know that for me, quitting seemed unfathomable...until one day I quit...June 13 of last year...and what a great year it has been.

Don't worry about labeling yourself...I never did. I don't drink alcohol, it's just a personal choice that I decided to make for myself and my family...you can do it too.

vaguy

Thank you for your replies. I really do have so much to live for especially when I see my son. I guess my only problem is that I never promised when I got marrried that I would promise no more beer. I do like a beer when I am out grilling or working in the yard. Maybe I need to just drink in moderation. My problem is that I have to hide it form my wife and I feel I shouldn't have to do that. I think what I need to do is tell my wife that I will enjoy a beer now and then but the fridge in the basement has to go since that is what was allowing me to hide it from her. Or maybe I am in complete denial here. Am I deceiving myself if I keep a 6 pack in the fridge? I think the 90 day test seems like a god idea

Sapling

That crossed my mind...If I could do that....I'd be doing it now.

suki44883

Is your wife totally against beer, period? If you can drink a beer or two and then be done, I don't see a problem. Does it go beyond that? Do you intend to drink a beer or two and then end up drinking 10 or 12?

Tippingpoint

Ahhhhh...sounds like your addictive voice is taking over from here on in...

It's interesting to watch that transition...

Sapling

Why don't you just give the 90 day test a run?...If you feel fine after that...You should be good to go.

vaguy

I think you're right about the 90 day test. nothing to lose really. Thank you.

Sapling

Let us know how you're doing...Don't be a stranger.

Deserto

Yes, please let us know how the 90 days goes.

I'm curious too why your wife doesn't want you to drink beer. Is it because of personal/religious reasons or because drinking has caused problems between you two in the past? If it's the latter then that too would be a red flag.

IndaMiricale

Welcome and keep in touch.

Dee74

Glad you joined us vaguy - good decision with the 90 test I think

D

Iwant2

It really is up to you. I had the same pattern. It got worse and worse. I would get something out of the fridge in the morning, see the bottle of vodka and say hey what the heck, what is wrong with a shot or two. This progressed until I started drinking everyday at differ hours during the day.

I maintained my job and family as well but if I continued that path I would have lost them.

Be careful.

artsoul

Welcome vaguy!

I have to commend you - I wish I'd been more willing to question my drinking early on. I got pretty good at telling myself half-truths and ignoring the issue until it seemed normal after a while. And like the others have said, it does get worse over time.

We're here for support any time!

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome vaguy! I hope you feel free to post here during your 90 day test. Be vigilant regarding your drinking. As others have pointed out, the hiding is a scary sign. Being honest about your drinking in the future is key. A non-alcoholic (a normie, lol) should be able to moderate their drinking enough that there's no need to hide. Good luck and take care!