Relapse...rinse...repeat
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by oldsoul1122 
There will always be times and places when there will be no support and you'll need to rely solely on YOU. Along with SR I use Rational Recovery for the the "addictive voice" that's always wanting it's drinking pleasure....If you go to the website it has a Crash Course. It only takes a few minutes to read. And that I do daily. Some people use that along with AA...Sober since this April 21...relapse is not an option (although your addictive voice will tell you it is)... Glad you are with us.
Great job on staying sober! 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Hi ((WarriorQueen)) IMHO the answer you are seeking comes from within. It took me three years to realize that. I waited and waited for help ...it never came, until I put one foot in front of the other and helped myself. I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink/use. When I realized that I reached out to any source available. Most of the help came from SR...I was ready to listen.
There are AA meetings online, lots of fantastic advice and experience right here. SMART RECOVERY helped me so much with my cravings. I was the one pouring the alcohol down my throat.. I had to be the one to stop.
I'm glad your here and reaching out...
Best Wishes To You!
There are AA meetings online, lots of fantastic advice and experience right here. SMART RECOVERY helped me so much with my cravings. I was the one pouring the alcohol down my throat.. I had to be the one to stop.
I'm glad your here and reaching out...
Best Wishes To You!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 328
First of all, WQ, you are here. You're talking about it. Posting about it. That's a good thing! That's a step in the right direction. You've acknowledged you want to quit. Good for you! You're asking for help. That's a huge step, WarriorQueen.
And that's one tough environment you're living in while trying to stay clean/sober. Please take a moment to look at your last few posts on this thread with an open mind and see if you can find one little tiny workaround to the roadblocks you've discussed.
I can think of dozens of workarounds, but I'll give you one. You said your boyfriend is willing to take you, but wants to attend the meeting with you. Why? For support? Is he trying to control the outcome? Or is does he think you're going to say something about him to the group that he wouldn't want others to feel? To feel like he's helping you? Whatever the case, tell him you appreciate his willingness to help (drive), and that he can help best by driving you and letting you attend on your own.
Do your parents know you are trying to quit? If so, are they supportive?
And that's one tough environment you're living in while trying to stay clean/sober. Please take a moment to look at your last few posts on this thread with an open mind and see if you can find one little tiny workaround to the roadblocks you've discussed.
I can think of dozens of workarounds, but I'll give you one. You said your boyfriend is willing to take you, but wants to attend the meeting with you. Why? For support? Is he trying to control the outcome? Or is does he think you're going to say something about him to the group that he wouldn't want others to feel? To feel like he's helping you? Whatever the case, tell him you appreciate his willingness to help (drive), and that he can help best by driving you and letting you attend on your own.
Do your parents know you are trying to quit? If so, are they supportive?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I don't see how you can get clean where you are...Maybe you can look into this site...Make a few calls....Does your BF have a phone?...Does your BF support you on this?...Anyway...There has to be a better way.
Athens, GA Shelters, Homeless Housing, Halfway Houses, Housing for Low Income
Athens, GA Shelters, Homeless Housing, Halfway Houses, Housing for Low Income
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
First of all, your posting here shows me you want to quit, and you are looking for answers. For that you should be commended. But you are in a challenging mess.
Please don't get defensive. We only see what gets posted, by you, and maybe we leap to assumptions, but everyone taking the time to respond to you would love to see you kick this addiction to the curb.
However, you are in a situation with some pretty screwed up dynamics. From everything you are telling us, the only option you have is to say, "No!"
How is that working for you? Not good. You are going to have to think outside the box. As long as your list of "can'ts" is longer than your "cans" you are going to be struggling mightily.
You HAVE to get out of your current situation. We can't tell you how to do that. But as long as you are home, with enabling parents, and access to drugs, I foresee big problems. It is easy for me to say, leave. I'm not in your shoes. But YOU have to do something. Establish bounderies where your mom doesn't give you drugs no matter how much you beg, threaten or curse.
Please don't get defensive. We only see what gets posted, by you, and maybe we leap to assumptions, but everyone taking the time to respond to you would love to see you kick this addiction to the curb.
However, you are in a situation with some pretty screwed up dynamics. From everything you are telling us, the only option you have is to say, "No!"
How is that working for you? Not good. You are going to have to think outside the box. As long as your list of "can'ts" is longer than your "cans" you are going to be struggling mightily.
You HAVE to get out of your current situation. We can't tell you how to do that. But as long as you are home, with enabling parents, and access to drugs, I foresee big problems. It is easy for me to say, leave. I'm not in your shoes. But YOU have to do something. Establish bounderies where your mom doesn't give you drugs no matter how much you beg, threaten or curse.
I didn't mean to get defensive, but so many people have told me that before that it kinda pushes my buttons. Sorry guys!
:ghug3I know i need to get out of this situation. They are killing me with stress as well as drugs... I constantly worry. My dad is abusive. I'm scared he'll hurt my mom if I leave. I wish I could leave... They are really holding me back.
My mom knows I have a drug problem. I've asked her before to not offer me any kind of prescription pills. She still does it though... She doesn't really understand addiction. I've tried explaining but she doesn't want to hear it.
My boyfriend says I could live with him, but I can't pay his mom rent.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by WarriorQueen
My boyfriend says I could live with him, but I can't pay his mom rent.
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by opivotal
Hi ((WarriorQueen)) IMHO the answer you are seeking comes from within. It took me three years to realize that. I waited and waited for help ...it never came, until I put one foot in front of the other and helped myself. I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink/use. When I realized that I reached out to any source available. Most of the help came from SR...I was ready to listen.
There are AA meetings online, lots of fantastic advice and experience right here. SMART RECOVERY helped me so much with my cravings. I was the one pouring the alcohol down my throat.. I had to be the one to stop.
I'm glad your here and reaching out...
Best Wishes To You!
There are AA meetings online, lots of fantastic advice and experience right here. SMART RECOVERY helped me so much with my cravings. I was the one pouring the alcohol down my throat.. I had to be the one to stop.
I'm glad your here and reaching out...
Best Wishes To You!
I am more than ready to listen.
I'll look into SMART RECOVERY too.
I keep having a little trouble with the spiritual parts of AA and NA... Its hard to keep faith when you've lived in hell for your whole life...
I'll see you at the meeting at 9?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by WarriorQueen
I keep having a little trouble with the spiritual parts of AA and NA... Its hard to keep faith when you've lived in hell for your whole life...
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by crewisms
First of all, WQ, you are here. You're talking about it. Posting about it. That's a good thing! That's a step in the right direction. You've acknowledged you want to quit. Good for you! You're asking for help. That's a huge step, WarriorQueen.
And that's one tough environment you're living in while trying to stay clean/sober. Please take a moment to look at your last few posts on this thread with an open mind and see if you can find one little tiny workaround to the roadblocks you've discussed.
I can think of dozens of workarounds, but I'll give you one. You said your boyfriend is willing to take you, but wants to attend the meeting with you. Why? For support? Is he trying to control the outcome? Or is does he think you're going to say something about him to the group that he wouldn't want others to feel? To feel like he's helping you? Whatever the case, tell him you appreciate his willingness to help (drive), and that he can help best by driving you and letting you attend on your own.
Do your parents know you are trying to quit? If so, are they supportive?
And that's one tough environment you're living in while trying to stay clean/sober. Please take a moment to look at your last few posts on this thread with an open mind and see if you can find one little tiny workaround to the roadblocks you've discussed.
I can think of dozens of workarounds, but I'll give you one. You said your boyfriend is willing to take you, but wants to attend the meeting with you. Why? For support? Is he trying to control the outcome? Or is does he think you're going to say something about him to the group that he wouldn't want others to feel? To feel like he's helping you? Whatever the case, tell him you appreciate his willingness to help (drive), and that he can help best by driving you and letting you attend on your own.
Do your parents know you are trying to quit? If so, are they supportive?
I cant see any workarounds... I guess its a "too close to the forest to see it because of the trees" sort of thing for me.
My mom knows I have a drug problem, but I haven't discussed quitting with them because they are very unsupportive.
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by Sapling
I don't see how you can get clean where you are...Maybe you can look into this site...Make a few calls....Does your BF have a phone?...Does your BF support you on this?...Anyway...There has to be a better way.
Athens, GA Shelters, Homeless Housing, Halfway Houses, Housing for Low Income
Athens, GA Shelters, Homeless Housing, Halfway Houses, Housing for Low Income
I will definately look into that site. Thank you!
My bf's mom would charge me around $200 a month for rent.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by WarriorQueen
My mom knows I have a drug problem, but I haven't discussed quitting with them because they are very unsupportive.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by WarriorQueen
My bf's mom would charge me around $200 a month for rent.
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by Sapling
I think that's the one thing you should be trying to keep right now. I really think your priority over any program you are going to work should be...Where can you live where people aren't handing you drugs....It doesn't matter what program you pick...None of them will work...If you have them handed to you...And you can't say no to them. Simple.
I'm not sure how to regain faith once its lost... I desperately want to believe that there is something out there that can "restore me to sanity" and take away my desire to use... but more than that, I just want to believe that something is watching out for me and that no matter what, I'll be okay. You know?
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by Sapling
To sleep in the same room as him?...Or you get your own room? Does she know what kind of situation you are in?....I don't think I have ever heard of someone with more things stacked against them than what you are dealing with. It's mind boggling.
I'm just lucky, I guess.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by WarriorQueen
I'm not sure how to regain faith once its lost... I desperately want to believe that there is something out there that can "restore me to sanity" and take away my desire to use... but more than that, I just want to believe that something is watching out for me and that no matter what, I'll be okay. You know?
Lady Blaze
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
My first addiction was to methamphetamine. If I was still a crank addict, lived at home, and my mom had meth, I wouldn't be discussing quitting either.
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