needs help with first step
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: everett, wa
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needs help with first step
I came to a question in my first step that asked, "have I compulsivly acted on an obsession, and then acted as if I had actually planned to act that way? When were those times?"
I'm confused on to what exactly this means can anyone give me some examples or explain it in a way I can understand? Thanks so much! :-)
I'm confused on to what exactly this means can anyone give me some examples or explain it in a way I can understand? Thanks so much! :-)
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Well, with respect to drinking...because that is where my experience is...
The question is have I had an obsession (mental thought) that I acted on compulsively?
Have I purchased alcohol without planning to drink, after having thoughts to drink....and then justified it to myself or others like it was planned in advance.
Did I try to minimalize my compulsion?
You might want to ask this on the 12 step forum. Many solid AA members there to help with step questions.
The question is have I had an obsession (mental thought) that I acted on compulsively?
Have I purchased alcohol without planning to drink, after having thoughts to drink....and then justified it to myself or others like it was planned in advance.
Did I try to minimalize my compulsion?
You might want to ask this on the 12 step forum. Many solid AA members there to help with step questions.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
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Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
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"have I compulsivly acted on an obsession, and then acted as if I had actually planned to act that way?
Sounds much like a tongue twister. Where in the world did this strange query come from? I'm unsure there is a reasonably answer to such as befuddlement. Can you explain with greater clarity. You have me confused?
Bottom like 'don't drink and don't consider such odd ponders'.
Sounds much like a tongue twister. Where in the world did this strange query come from? I'm unsure there is a reasonably answer to such as befuddlement. Can you explain with greater clarity. You have me confused?
Bottom like 'don't drink and don't consider such odd ponders'.
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Originally Posted by Zencat 
"have I compulsivly acted on an obsession, and then acted as if I had actually planned to act that way?
Sounds much like a tongue twister. Where in the world did this strange query come from? I'm unsure there is a reasonably answer to such as befuddlement Can you explain with greater clarity. You have me confused?
Sounds much like a tongue twister. Where in the world did this strange query come from? I'm unsure there is a reasonably answer to such as befuddlement Can you explain with greater clarity. You have me confused?
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
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Originally Posted by Veritas1
"have I compulsivly acted on an obsession, and then acted as if I had actually planned to act that way?
Originally Posted by Zenny
Sounds much like a tongue twister. Where in the world did this strange query come from? I'm unsure there is a reasonably answer to such as befuddlement Can you explain with greater clarity. You have me confused?
Originally Posted by Sapis
I couldn't have said it better Zencat...I suppose you have a sponsor that gave you this question?...I'd have him explain it to you. And then come back and explain it to us. Welcome to SR mksparks!
.
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I didn't have all that stuff when I did my first step. I was a broken alcoholic and lack of power was my problem....and I couldn't manage my own life. I was in a hopeless state of mind, body and spirit...That was enough for me to move on to step two....I didn't have much problem there either...
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
I was living on the street, in and out of the nut house. I was broken, desperate and completely out of options except for a 30 year term in prison hanging over my head if they they let me out of the nut house. I got stories about living in the nut house. Ops I was nuts and ended in prison...wonderful people in prison. I found out the hard way...very...very...HARD...like up my...raped way...dig me...hey we could have been cellies...sweet.
Soooo...desperate... yeppers I can relate... like totally bro.
Brother tell me about hopeless. I dont want to forget.
Soooo...desperate... yeppers I can relate... like totally bro.
Brother tell me about hopeless. I dont want to forget.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
I try to be glib, sarcastic, off center, offensive. It kills me most times. Then I speak the truth of my life, then it is obscene, ruthless, vile...edited from the mods. Ha my psychotherapist told me he cant help me with the 'darker stuff' Fu<kme...haha. County paid...Dr's, Gawd help us.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
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Originally Posted by Jeni26
Your psychotherapist can't help you with the darker stuff??!!
Hope you're not paying him/her?!x
Hope you're not paying him/her?!x
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
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What did the other 40% say, Zencat? 
I woke up and told myself I wouldn't drink that day. I meant it. After work I would end up at the store, home, drinking that night. Then I would "realize" what I had done and tell myself, well, I was going to drink anyway..... Is this what that means?
What'd your sponsor say? My step 1 was a discussion of my drinking and life and what happened to my former goals.....and to now.....
I woke up and told myself I wouldn't drink that day. I meant it. After work I would end up at the store, home, drinking that night. Then I would "realize" what I had done and tell myself, well, I was going to drink anyway..... Is this what that means?
What'd your sponsor say? My step 1 was a discussion of my drinking and life and what happened to my former goals.....and to now.....
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: everett, wa
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Well I'm in the na program and my sponser bought me a step study book questionsok with all these for steps one through twelve but thanks you guys for all your imput its much appreciated
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Originally Posted by mksparks
Well I'm in the na program and my sponser bought me a step study book questionsok with all these for steps one through twelve but thanks you guys for all your imput its much appreciated
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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At the end of my drinking, I would stop by the store everyday and buy beer on the way home. Yet, later that evening I would say something like "my boss was mean to me" then have a drink, "I had such a rough day" then have a drink. I came to realize that I was using it as an excuse. I knew I would drink or I wouldn't have bought the beer.
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Originally Posted by pinkdog
At the end of my drinking, I would stop by the store everyday and buy beer on the way home. Yet, later that evening I would say something like "my boss was mean to me" then have a drink, "I had such a rough day" then have a drink. I came to realize that I was using it as an excuse. I knew I would drink or I wouldn't have bought the beer.
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Originally Posted by Veritas1
Maybe it's to see the unmanageability.
When were the times that you acted like you were in control when you really acted out of compulsion and obsession.
When were the times that you acted like you were in control when you really acted out of compulsion and obsession.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Step 1 was easy for me. I quit drinking and popping my daily dose of 20 m, milligrams of klonopin. Two weeks later I woke up in the hospital with open wounds on my wrists and ankles form the restraints that tied me to the bed.
I went, gee....maybe I am powerless over alcohol and drugs -- and what the hell is this dash in Step one, the part before "our lives had become unmanageable."
Okay...I get step one... and I pray to hell something will restore me to some semblance of sanity as I have lost mine...and humility was easily learned when I was babbling like a psychotic baboon...so I surrender and hope to God he or she or it will direct me away from my selfishness and my world as created by me sucks so I turn it over...
Time for Step 4, all in one nanosecond.
Sparky...I know these step worksheets have crept into he rooms of NA and AA and I am positive your sponsor is only trying to help your the way he or she was helped but I really think they are a bunch of rehab industry hokum and pray you get to Step 4 as soon as desperation carries you there.
Peace and welcome to SR and thanks for sharing...
I went, gee....maybe I am powerless over alcohol and drugs -- and what the hell is this dash in Step one, the part before "our lives had become unmanageable."
Okay...I get step one... and I pray to hell something will restore me to some semblance of sanity as I have lost mine...and humility was easily learned when I was babbling like a psychotic baboon...so I surrender and hope to God he or she or it will direct me away from my selfishness and my world as created by me sucks so I turn it over...
Time for Step 4, all in one nanosecond.
Sparky...I know these step worksheets have crept into he rooms of NA and AA and I am positive your sponsor is only trying to help your the way he or she was helped but I really think they are a bunch of rehab industry hokum and pray you get to Step 4 as soon as desperation carries you there.
Peace and welcome to SR and thanks for sharing...
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