TimeToGetALife

OK, before anyone says anything... I promise with ALL my heart that I am not going to give in... I may REALLY want a drink (or ten), and the craving may well be the worst ever.. but I so know and understand that I can't have one! (deep breath)

48 days sober.

I suppose I am just writing this to take my mind off of the craving and to get myself back from the brink... I have tried to work out why today is different.. but can't find anything.. its like there is a person inside me pushing me to give in - I wont let it beat me, but I did need to have a vent!

Hope you are all well and keeping strong xxx

DisplacedGRITS

Can you figure out what's brought on the craving? Could it be that you've been doing so well that there's a part of you that thinks "i've got this! I can manage this! I bet i could moderate like a normie!" That creeps into my subconscious all the time and before i know it, BOOM! I'm feeling a crave.

Hollyanne

As Displaced says!
After HALT, hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
Feeling great is a huge trigger.

TimeToGetALife

I have thought like that too, but then I immediately remind myself why I can't drink.

It is really strange today, it is like I have a bubbling volcano of emotion that will only be calmed with a drink... obviously I know that it wouldn't be calmed, if I did drink (which I wont) the volcano would simply erupt and I would be back to square one.

Just typing it out has helped, I can feel the bubbling turning into a simmer :-) and I am starting to be able to think of other things, instead of just fighting not to drink!

DisplacedGRITS

Sometimes i find going for a walk helps when i have feelings like that. Just burning that energy in any way helps. Nothing major but moving my body even in a minor/moderate way can soothe my mind. I wish i was a gym rat! With as frazzled as i can get i'd have one buff bod.

TimeToGetALife

Hahaha.. I wish I could get back to the gym but until my injured knee is better I can't. However, if I has stopped rainging I think that a walk would be good, maybe I will walk up to my parents to say a quick hello...

I should do something.. I am on my 4th packet of crisps!! hahaha....

Sapling

Congrats on 48 days sober TimeToGetALife...Do you any recovery program you are using? AA?...AVRT?...SMART?..,,Something to add some tools to assist you?

TimeToGetALife

Hi Sapling... no I still haven't gone (shuffles feet) I know that you have always told me I should, and I know that it is great advice that works for so many people, and AA has been a life saver for you.. but I still haven't got my head round doing it yet.. I always feel that I am letting you and your support down when I admit this, so please accept my apologies.

Hollyanne

Hey TimeTGAL,
Maybe you should just go to AA a couple of times to keep us all happy.
Sapling especially! The guilt you are feeling is simply not good for you!

Hollyanne

Lost my post!
Just check out AA please. It works for some reason.
It is an extra support from people who understand and.....you get to help others.
Win Win

oldsoul1122

Today is different and tomorrow will be different too. Your brain is having it's ups and downs trying to heal. Ignore the addictive voice...don't give it power by dwelling on it. Go find something else to put your mind on...it's only a passing thing. I'm in week 7. Welcome and keep in touch.

tallcactus

Congrats on the 48 days.
It's just that alcoholic voice talking and it wants a drink.
Stay busy and close to SR. Do anything, but drink. You are stronger than that voice.

Sapling

Just checking...At least you are learning how to dance. Don't drink and hang on tight to those days you have. No need to apologize to me...I just like to see you use everything available to you.

TimeToGetALife

hahaha Sapling, and thank you.. again xx

TimeToGetALife

Thank you and well done on week 7 xx

Nigel1969

48 days is a fantastic acheivement, I'm only on 6 and it'ds killing me. If I get to 48 I'll be a happy man. You've gone that far, would be such a shame to give in. Stay strong pal..

Hollyanne

Well done Nigel.

TimeToGetALife

Thanks Nigel x and well done to you, 6 days is great, each and every day sober is a great achievment for us all.. keep strong x

sissy07

Yeah, sometimes it is just plain tough! Tomorrow will be another day, and you will be glad that you didn't drink today. It will make you stronger resisting the craving. (Sorry, nothing ah-ha to say!

rc4dt1

Oh man.. I totally get what you are feeling. I had 40 days at the time of my last relapse... that relapse costed me something I never thought it would. We all fear that relapsing will lead to a binge that could lead to dying. Or it could lead to getting in legal trouble. I managed to avoid those things... but what it did lead to was unexpected and very painful.

Stay strong!