Programmer27

I fell, hard. 6 months down the tube. I went on a 3 day bender this weekend, and can barely function today. My last drink was sometime in the wee hours of Saturday night/Sunday morning.

Can't believe it.

Sapling

What kept you sober for six months Programmer27?....And why did it stop working?

sugarbear1

Are you ready to stay stopped, yet?

Start again!

Nirvana1

Hey Buddy. Hang in there. It will get better.

Jeni26

My heart goes out to you, what a horrible disease this is!!

We are all here for you. When you feel able to, reflect on what led you to relapse and plan how to do things differently. One day at a time...x

Flying4Life

Beating yourself up over a mistake will only make things worse. You didn't lose those 6 months of sobriety, they were months of authentic living that you gained because you were sober.

You can never lose the gift of a sober day.

I don't believe that the length of our continuous sobriety is some magical wall that protects us from drinking, it's simply proof that we can live without alcohol.

If you can live without alcohol for one day you can live without it for 10,000 days.

Sobriety happens one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up and stay sober for today.

We're all here cheering for you.

MycoolFitz

You had 6 months, that can't be taken away or wasted. Today you can start anew and keep moving forward. My best to you.

Programmer27

I want desperately to be able to think like a kid again. I had a pretty rough childhood, and then was forced to move in with my father a few states away and attend a different high school.

I had some of the best of times just hanging out with my buddies and not doing anything in particular. We never drank, and I can remember being a very happy person.

After HS and went on to college and the crap just hit the fan. Constant blackout binge drinking, going to jail, all the good stuff.

I want so badly to be able to experience my life not knowing about alcohol. Thank you guys for being there.

tomsteve

"Heights by great men reached and kept, were not obtained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night"

Deserto

Sorry to hear this Programmer. I think the key is to figure out both why and when you decided to pick up again -- because usually the decision is subconsciously made well before the bottle is in hand.

Six months proves you can be sober. Now the job is to figure out how you can be sober and avoid future relapses.

CarolD

I too had false starts before I finally quit drinking.
What worked for me?

I read 'Under The Influence" by Mialam & Ketcham
not everything applied to my drinking but it opened my eyes
especially the section about how my mind and body no longer
processed alcohol correctly.

Amazon usually carries it and it has a sequel.."Beyond The Influence"

After I read that info....I re connected to God and AA....living in the
AA Steps has brought me purpose and joy...

Please contact a professional to work out whatever childhood issues
haunt you. That could be very useful for you.

I certainly hope this will be your last bout with alcohol...and it can be...

Luling

You've struck on something that has been on my mind a lot lately. We come into this world sober, not knowing alcohol. As kids, we play, we relax, we have fun without alcohol. So why did things like having a good time get all tied up with drinking? I think I was going to make a point, but I've lost my train of thought ... oh well, just wanted to tell you that I can so relate to this point.

Programmer27

It's like you cross some sort of threshold, or our minds change somehow. Once crossed, you can never go back.

and thanks Carol, I'll pick that up.

OheemJah

You're six months is not down the tube! You had a relapse, that is normal. Just get back up, dust yourself off, and start again. :ghug3

Michael66

Hi Programmer

Did you follow what your girlfriend wanted you to do to help keep you dry over the weekend?

gallybhoy

the horse hasnt bolted get back on you deserve it

Luling

True. I have to believe that although we can't go back, but there's a lot to look forward to. I have to believe that whatever lies on the other side of this is better than going back, and it's certainly better than what we're going through now.

Take care of yourself; you'll get through this. Then you'll be one of the ones posting about how fabulous sobriety is, and those of us who aren't at the "fabulous" stage will be sitting here going, "yeah, right."

dhan

self realisation is the best way to stop drinking......i was sober for 5 years....all of sudden again started drinking again with a hope of been in control...hey guys...honestly i started off monthly once that turned to weekly once ..then slowly everyday in the evening i am drinking still late night...watching movies...and for the past 1 yr things were going worse...too much of empty bottles in my room....a big hole in the pocket.....after realsing i stopped it suddenly.....now i am happy...read plently of articles here.....now bed of roses...people r looking me with respect.

SSIL75

oh man I am sorry to hear that. WElcome back.