New to SR
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
New to SR
Hi fellow travelers. I am new to this site (but not to the pain of having an addict/alcoholic in the family). I am here to get--and give--support. My 21-year-old son (oldest) is addicted to heroin/opiates and, as far as I know, abuses marijuana and alcohol (though not sure if he is drinking at this time). He lives with his father, my ex, a few states away and is on some kind of probation for a drug offense (again).
As far as I can understand it (talking with enabler ex and addicted son does not always make for the clearest conversations), my son meets with his PO on June 11 for a cheek swab test, and depending on that result, will be released from his probation obligation.
I very much need--and would greatly appreciate--suggestions from experienced parents. My husband (my son's step father) and I have two younger boys, 12 and 14, and my elderly mother also lives with us. We are very active in our local church and community and have a strong network of support. I attend NA meetings (there are no local Naranon groups), Alanon and have started attending a Families Anonymous group. (Both my DH and I attending FA meetings when we lived in the same state as my son does now. Very good, very helpful and supportive and informative.)
For various reasons, my son's odds of successful recovery are much greater here with us, but we want to set the right limits and boundaries for all of our sakes before we accept him living here. (And the first limit, of course, is that he can only live with us while actively seeking recovery--good IOP program here at big medical center--never bringing/using in our home, seeking employment, etc.)
I need help setting realistic and compassionate boundaries. I am very fortunate to have people/support groups in my life that can assist with this, but I don't have a sponsor yet, so reaching out for as much info and guidance as I can get.
Everyone here seems so kind and helpful, and that is crucial when dealing with these issues. Any help is greatly appreciated. Much thanks.
As far as I can understand it (talking with enabler ex and addicted son does not always make for the clearest conversations), my son meets with his PO on June 11 for a cheek swab test, and depending on that result, will be released from his probation obligation.
I very much need--and would greatly appreciate--suggestions from experienced parents. My husband (my son's step father) and I have two younger boys, 12 and 14, and my elderly mother also lives with us. We are very active in our local church and community and have a strong network of support. I attend NA meetings (there are no local Naranon groups), Alanon and have started attending a Families Anonymous group. (Both my DH and I attending FA meetings when we lived in the same state as my son does now. Very good, very helpful and supportive and informative.)
For various reasons, my son's odds of successful recovery are much greater here with us, but we want to set the right limits and boundaries for all of our sakes before we accept him living here. (And the first limit, of course, is that he can only live with us while actively seeking recovery--good IOP program here at big medical center--never bringing/using in our home, seeking employment, etc.)
I need help setting realistic and compassionate boundaries. I am very fortunate to have people/support groups in my life that can assist with this, but I don't have a sponsor yet, so reaching out for as much info and guidance as I can get.
Everyone here seems so kind and helpful, and that is crucial when dealing with these issues. Any help is greatly appreciated. Much thanks.
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