KitKat0398

So - i'm all about getting and staying sober. But as i begin my first evening as a non drinker i'm thinking about how much I like to be drunk. So terrible, i know. MY evening routine was to come home from work and make a drink as i started dinner, make a drink as i prepared dinner, make a drink to eat with dinner, make a drink to have as i clean up for the evening. I somehow made the drink a reward for all my hard work. I didn't feel so bad having some vodka because i was doing the dishes or a drink because i just put away all the laundry. Really?! That's what I let my day get to??

I just hope with each passing day this is easier and i don't want that wicked liquid that i have let consume me while i consume it. I am an alcoholic and i realize that i have a long road (forever!) ahead of me. But, i'm so proud i've made this step and that i am doing what needs to be done to better my life and ensure that my family has the best me.

Elisabeth888

Welcome!!!!

alchemy11

really understand what you mean about using alcohol as a reward thing. Like oh i've been so good today and done all the housework etc so i deserve a drink.. and of course its never just one. My first day as well, good to know i'm not alone

Luling

You sound just like me, drinking my through all my routines. I'm trying to change up my routines, getting things done earlier in the day when possible, leaving my evenings open to do things that I don't typically associate with drinking.

Anyway, welcome. You'll find that everyone here is very supportive, so I hope you stick around!

Dee74

It is tough - alcohol was a part of my life for a long time - there was very little I didn't do with a drink in my hand, by the end.

You're not alone tho - there is a lot of amazing support here, people do understand...and change really is possible Kit Kat.

Early recovery is rough and I make no bones about that - but day by day things got a little easier for me - I hope they will for you too

D

scrambled2012

stay the course KitKat; maybe post on word association or check the boards on the website on those occasions instead?

Hevyn

KitKat - That's pretty much how my days went, too. It feels strange in the beginning, because we've relied on it for so long - but it's a lie that we need it to get through the day. It does nothing to enhance our lives. Once you get used to being without it, you'll see how much better it is to be coherent and clearheaded - not foggy.

Congratulations for realizing you needed to make this change - you can do it!

IndaMiricale

Welcome to the good life it will get easier.

CaiHong

Welcome KitKat

I understand the reward thing I would reward myself with a drink after I had cleaned a room in the apartment, needless to say the housework never got finished.
Now I can't believe how little I got done with so much imagined effort

I needed a lot of support early in sobriety. I could not do it alone. I used this forum and AA and still do.
I suggest you find some sort of program.

All the best
CaiHong

Chrisy

Welcome, you are in the right place. We are here to support and encourage you on your choice toward sober living. The people here have really helped me and I know will help you too.

Love and Blessings
Chrisy

aasharon90

Not having alcohol in my reach, in my
home, I was able to concentrate on my
recovery and sobriety each day I didnt
drink.

With quite a few roller coaster rides of
emotions in early recovery I didnt need
temptations of poison in my reach to either
numb me or kill me.

Sobriety and my recovery in Alcoholic's
Anonymous has be an still is a journey
of changes and molding me into the person
I am today. Happy, Joyous and Free.

It can be for you as well.