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Old 01-03-2013, 10:02 AM
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Thanks for this thread, and thanks raining for bumping it or I wouldn't have seen it. I'm at 18 days and these ideas are encouraging! Will go back and read all the pages!
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:02 AM
  # 162 (permalink)  
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I drank water took a couple deep breaths and just tried to remind myself the cravings would stop. They eventually would.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:46 AM
  # 163 (permalink)  
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Everyone here who has quit felt as hopeless, helpless and worthless as you have or do about quitting. They made it to the other side and so can you... Ask for their help.
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Old 01-17-2013, 05:54 AM
  # 164 (permalink)  
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Remember you already know how a life filled with drinking looks and where it gets you. So why not stay sober and find out what your life looks like sober and where that leads you?
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Old 01-17-2013, 06:09 AM
  # 165 (permalink)  
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My favorite advice to newly sober people is, "Expect to feel WEIRD." You may feel clumsy, distracted, socially inept, foggy, angry, depressed, confused, all kinds of uncomfortable feelings, and those feelings may come and go for a while. There are no shortcuts, and those feelings don't mean you are "doing it wrong" or "not ready." It's something we ALL go through. It gets better, MUCH better, and with time and continued growth you will look back at your drinking self and wonder how you ever managed to live that way.
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Old 01-17-2013, 06:49 AM
  # 166 (permalink)  
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I don't know if this has been posted previously, but try to remember that going to sleep sober almost guarantees you a better morning...waking up NOT filled with remorse or dread about the night before.
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Old 01-30-2013, 06:56 PM
  # 167 (permalink)  
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Distinguish between the thought of: I want/ need a drink
Versus the thought of:
I don't want to feel this feeling.... or
I don't know how else to cope with this...
Or I want to relax and don't know how else to do it....
or whatever underlies the drinking thought.
Then try and address more rationally the underlying thought:
This feeling is uncomfortable but it will pass...
I can cope with this in other ways such as: _____ or
Other ways I can decrease anxiety are: ______ and so on.
Retrain yourself.
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:14 PM
  # 168 (permalink)  
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Remember what it feels like to have the flu...I mean full blown influenza (body aches, shakes, fever, your hair even hurts) and ask yourself why you would do that to yourself on purpose. Worked for me in the beginning...my hangovers were monstrous and flu-like so the association really helped. I thought those potential drinks right through to the end and it always ended with me basically having a self-induced flu which eventually my brain figured out was kind of stupid.

Also, read these stories in the board --- and know that so many of us can't possibly be wrong about the benefits of sobriety. The first month or so sucks but IT DOES GET BETTER!!!! At about 30 days the fog lifted for me and my insides finally didn't feel like a big pile of confused mush.
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:42 PM
  # 169 (permalink)  
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I just look at my bank statement and think about what it would look like if I was still drinking.
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Old 02-07-2013, 03:43 PM
  # 170 (permalink)  
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Think about it:

Who are the people who are here for you, telling you can do it? Who?
Why the people WHO HAVE done it, who are doing it, who have been where you are and know the way! They have no reason to deceive or kid you... they know this is serious.

Now who are the people who tell you that you DON'T have a problem, that you don't need to quit?
People who don't want to examine themselves, who don't want to question their own drinking behaviors.. . They have EVERY reason to deceive you! Because they want to go on deceiving themselves. They don't want to take this seriously...

So who are you going to BELIEVE? Who are you going to FOLLOW?
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Old 02-16-2013, 06:51 AM
  # 171 (permalink)  
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Ask for help!

If help is offered, accept it!

Forget about your pride or feeling needy. This part where you feel needy and desperate DOES NOT LAST. You must find a way through it though!

Accept help as others before you have. Later if you want, you can pay it forward.

Seeking support is what made the difference for me.
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Old 03-04-2013, 05:43 PM
  # 172 (permalink)  
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Encourage others.
It is the secret sneaky sure way to encourage yourself at the same time! : )
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:03 PM
  # 173 (permalink)  
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I think how happy I was when I was a kid. Before I every drank. I am becoming that happy kid again. Day 12 sober. I'm going to surpass my 8 month record and try for a year. I'm in my early 40's.
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Old 03-07-2013, 05:35 PM
  # 174 (permalink)  
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As much as possible early on, focus on those in less fortunate circumstances ...because self pity is a fast track to relapse.
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Old 03-07-2013, 09:11 PM
  # 175 (permalink)  
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A big humongous thank you to every one of you who posted your helpful hints. EQ, thank you for starting it and keeping it going. I am on Day 5, and up until tonight at around 5:30 I was doing pretty well. But there I was sitting in a doctor's office waiting for my daughter to get examined because she was in an accident this afternoon and I was tired and I was hungry and my chronic neck pain started to act up, and I could feel myself getting restless, edgy, and definitely "I want a drink-y." I could feel my mood change, and what came into my head was "Thank God I spent two hours reading SR posts before I came here," because I knew what was going on was a craving I had to ride, and now I want to say Thank God for this thread because it kept me from going to the Chardonnay aisle tonight.

What helped me tonight:

I was hungry in the doctor's office and I ate some snack I had in my purse and I ate again when I got home. I didn't wait for hubby - I just helped myself.

I gave myself permission to go off the Weight Watchers wagon that I'm also currently on and had cheese and crackers and two WW ice creams. It helped to eat something comforting, but since I have really no extremely decadent food in the house, it didn't completely blow my diet.

I drank water.

I put my pajamas on early and gave myself permission to act as if I had a cold or a virus - just lounge around, read, drink tea.

I spent another three hours on SR and read this whole thread.

I thought about all the times I felt sorry for myself for not having any time to myself to express my creativity and realized that what dampened my creativity and put my life into a holding pattern was myown hand and a bottle opener.

I repeated to myself, I know what my life looks like when I drink. Let's see what it will look like when I'm sober in evenings.

That's it. My restlessness and lasted for about two and a half hours. It's 9:00 p.m. and I've just ridden through my first non-drinking stressful event (child in accident) and subsequent craving and DID NOT DRINK! Yay! It feels good to know I can!

Again, thank you to EQ and all of you here. You really helped me tonight.
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Old 03-07-2013, 09:35 PM
  # 176 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
My favorite advice to newly sober people is, "Expect to feel WEIRD." You may feel clumsy, distracted, socially inept, foggy, angry, depressed, confused, all kinds of uncomfortable feelings, and those feelings may come and go for a while.

This helped me so much tonight, thank you. I was super angry for a while and instead of going to the bar I went to yoga. Once there I forgot how to get dressed and almost fell over. LOL. Then left my keys in my apartment when I left to grab something to eat. I have never done this in the four years I have lived in this apartment. My upstairs neighbors finally let me in. Can't wait to see what I do next!

A big thank you for starting the thread EQ. And thanks to everyone who has posted something helpful from their experience. It is much appreciated.
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Old 03-07-2013, 11:51 PM
  # 177 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sapling View Post
I found this on a site...It deals with Thanksgiving...But you could use it for any holiday or family get together...Or anything. Some good tips.

Holidays can be difficult for sober people, or people struggling to get or stay sober.

Now is a good time to prepare.

We thought we'd share some tips. You can not only survive a holiday, you can enjoy it. All you need to do is plan ahead.

Think ahead. Is it hard for you to be around alcohol? Be honest with yourself. Now is not a time for heroics. Keep your expectations realistic: if it is going to be too difficult, maybe this year is a time to do something different for Thanksgiving. Don't set yourself up to fail. You can spend a quiet time at home watching movies or hanging out with other friends, volunteer at a shelter serving food, or go to a meeting instead.

Thanksgiving is usually about family. If there are people in your family who trigger you, be ready. You don't have to go to every fight you're invited to .. plan what you'll say or do if someone gives you a hard time.

Have safe people to call - program their numbers into your phone in advance, and tell them you're going to call if things get tough. If everyone around you is drinking and it starts to bring you down, talking to someone else who is sober helps you remember that you are NOT alone.

Bring your own beverages. This is especially important if you're going to be around people who don't know you're sober. If you always have a drink in your hand, people won't hand you alcohol or ask if you want something to drink.

You don't have to over explain. If someone is pressuring you to drink, be ready with an answer. A white lie is totally acceptable - tell people you're on antibiotics, or you're watching your calories and so you aren't drinking.

Have an escape plan. If you can, bring your own car. Plan to go for a post-turkey walk - fresh air and exercise will get your endorphins flowing and help tamp down cravings.

Plan your exit in advance. If everyone is going to settle in to watch football and drink and you don't want to be part of it ... don't. Tell whoever is hosting that you have to leave at a certain time so you don't get drawn in to staying longer than you want to.

Remember to be proud of yourself - shame and guilt are huge triggers. Give yourself credit for staying strong.

Think about the next morning, when you'll wake up hangover-free and rested. Think about how horribly you felt the morning after drinking, and how sober you don't wake up and think, "I wish I drank last night."

Think through the drink. If you start romancing how nice "one drink" would be, remember how many times you told yourself you were only going to have one and failed. Having one is harder than having none, because once alcohol is in your system the obsession comes alive.

Remind yourself that Thanksgiving is just one day. A simple 24 hours, just like any other day. Don't put more importance on this day over any other.

Go to bed. If the day is harder than you expected, go to bed early just to put the day to rest.Tomorrow is a new day.

Believe in yourself. Getting sober and staying sober takes serious guts - you are brave and strong and true. If guilt, shame and remorse start talking to you, remind yourself that it's your disease sneaking in the back door. Let your sober voice ring loud and proud in your head.

Forgive yourself for wanting to drink. Don't expect that you won't be hit with a craving; it's natural. Prepare for how you're going to handle the craving instead of berating yourself for having one.

Be grateful. Thanksgiving is a time of giving thanks.. make a gratitude list and carry it with you. Try to focus on the gifts you have in your life, all the possibilities that lie in front of you, instead of all the things you can't have. Sober, you can do anything.

Addiction thrives in the dark, and together we bring the light.

You are not alone.

Source Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide
Needed that thanks
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Old 03-08-2013, 12:06 AM
  # 178 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Lookahead View Post
I am now 3 weeks and this forum has been my reason for sucess, it really has.
I log on several times a day and read posts, now I am stronger and the desire to drink has left me, I decided to start posting to help others as we all try to do in this forum.

The great things that have happened to me in just 3 weeks are....

1 My looks are returning, fresher skin and no dark circles under my eyes.

2 bloating stomach and face gone

3 I have started saving the money I wasted and it is nice to see all that cash

4 I dont feel down and miserable every day

5 I am calm and becoming a much nicer person rather than the judgemental and grumpy person I was when drinking, no longer selfish and blaming others for my misery and addiction

6 lost about 10lb without even trying, even though my appetite is huge!

7 No wasted days recovering from hangovers

8 sleeping well and not waking during the night

Oh why would anyone want to give all that up for a demon liquid.........and it only gets better every passing day!

The best advice I can give is this..........We need to be with people who are like us, only others in recovery can help those in recovery becuase they truly understand this problem.
Wow so true !!!!!
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Old 03-08-2013, 12:19 AM
  # 179 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by EternalQ View Post
Remember that all creation comes from limits. The diamond is created from pressure. So you will find that having the avenue of drinking closed to you forces you to seek new avenues of growth. Allow the limits of sobriety to surprise you. What new paths will not drinking encourage you to forge?
Thank u so so much for starting this thread u have made a huge difference in my afternoon truly grateful big hugs x
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Old 03-08-2013, 07:37 PM
  # 180 (permalink)  
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Becoming sober is like learning to walk all over again.
First you discover your feet.
Then you look around and see others are walking.
Then you roll over, squirm, crawl.
You stand. You fall.
You stand. You step. You fall.
You stand, you step, you walk.
At first holding on to things and people.
It is dizzying. You have no balance. But you continue.
Eventually you walk with others just nearby in case you get wobbly.
Then, you don't need them so close.
Then, you learn to run.
Persistence and basic instincts to strive, live and grow made you walk.
These same things will make you become and stay sober.
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