Young women in AA are very cliquey
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,461
Armywife, you are the one who knows what will work for you. You don't need to continue justifying your choices. You are the one who is on YOUR recovery journey. 
There is no need to allow members here to upset you.
There is no need to allow members here to upset you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I think you are getting good advice here. No one is getting on to you. USE the advice even if you don't like it. I really need to hear things I don't like because my thinking is wacked. This is agreat place to vent and get insight.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
Actually, Sapling, what I am suggesting is that people try the program as described in the Big Book. It talks about alcoholics helping each other. It urges people with longer recovery to be available to the newcomer. Heck, it even says that when someone is having trouble staying sober that they should be able to call on people in AA for help.
It does not recommend tests of willingness, waiting till newcomers prove themselves, only accepting calls from people who have a solution and this other nonsense that has become so embedded in the program.
I get the feeling that many people feel that if they tried to behave according to the guidelines in the Big Book that the program would fall apart. I disagree. Of course there would be the heartbreak of reaching out to people who don't make it. But in trying to emotionally protect themselves by only engaging to people after they are certain they have put in a certain amount of time or executed hazing tasks, group members are not helping those who need help.
And I think this is the start. How many meetings does someone need to attend before you talk to them? Do they have to throw away their green clothing or wash some oldtimer's car or park five blocks from the meeting to prove their willingness? How long do you have to see some one around before you give them your number?
I am just saying that people need AA's help from the very start. And the Big Book agrees with me in this.
It does not recommend tests of willingness, waiting till newcomers prove themselves, only accepting calls from people who have a solution and this other nonsense that has become so embedded in the program.
I get the feeling that many people feel that if they tried to behave according to the guidelines in the Big Book that the program would fall apart. I disagree. Of course there would be the heartbreak of reaching out to people who don't make it. But in trying to emotionally protect themselves by only engaging to people after they are certain they have put in a certain amount of time or executed hazing tasks, group members are not helping those who need help.
And I think this is the start. How many meetings does someone need to attend before you talk to them? Do they have to throw away their green clothing or wash some oldtimer's car or park five blocks from the meeting to prove their willingness? How long do you have to see some one around before you give them your number?
I am just saying that people need AA's help from the very start. And the Big Book agrees with me in this.
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