Worried about my SO letter
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Worried about my SO letter
I am in outpatient recovery. So far so good but on Tuesday I have to read a letter from my SO (significant other) better known as my wife. I get the feeling it will be brutal as most of them have. I know the truth will set me free which is fine. Just hope I can get through the letter without balling my eyes out.
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Originally Posted by Duke10 
Yep Sapling. I am sure it will be tough. It is not the harshness of the letter that worries me. It is just getting through it without completely embarrassing myself
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And don't worry about embarrassing yourself...It's good for you to let these emotions out...It will free you up of stuff you've been holding in...That's healthy. Nothing to be embarassed about.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Yea, you don't want to tarnish that tough John Wayne image... LOL, just yankin' your chain..
I don't know anyone, no matter how tough, who got through all this without some tears. Don't worry about it, you'll be better for it.
I don't know anyone, no matter how tough, who got through all this without some tears. Don't worry about it, you'll be better for it.
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Join Date: May 2009
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I wouldn't worry about embarrassing yourself. If you read it to the group I'm pretty sure they will understand. I'd worry more about the hurt you've caused your wife and what you are going to do about that when you see her again.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
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Sounds like everyone in the group has to go through this, right? I imagine compassion will abound....don't worry about "embarrassing" yourself. Feel the emotions - Sapling is right. You have to go through them to let them go and move on. Thinking of you....
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Yes I have to read the letter in front of everyone including a personal assessment. One young kid had to do his last night and he hung in there pretty good. For some reason since I quit drinking I just have a lot more emotion. I am sure it is because the booze is not covering it up. Thanks for the support as always. I will let you know how it goes. Maybe post it on Youtube!! NOT
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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I was such a bawl baby in recovery. I had to read a first step I wrote to the group and bawled and bawled. I think that our emotions come out big time in early recovery. I think for me it was of course cuz I was stuffing them, but secondly I was thinking more clearly again...I was alive and feeling once again. that is a beautiful thing!
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Originally Posted by Duke10
Yes I have to read the letter in front of everyone including a personal assessment. One young kid had to do his last night and he hung in there pretty good. For some reason since I quit drinking I just have a lot more emotion. I am sure it is because the booze is not covering it up. Thanks for the support as always. I will let you know how it goes. Maybe post it on Youtube!! NOT
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If you have to cry, you go ahead and cry.
John Wayne himself cried. I saw him do it, and not in a movie either. It was 1969, I was on my usual late spring, 2 week vacation, at a friends family ranch outside of Odessa TX. I went every year. His father had a big cattle ranch, but also had quite a herd of Long Horn cattle, that had been used many times in western movies. That was how he and Mr. Wayne had become friends over the years.
That year Mr. Wayne was there to help also, with bringing in the cows, and getting ready for calving season. There was one young heifer, it was her first time calving and she had twins, (very unusual in a heifer). We tried very very hard to save the little girl calf but could not. Mr. Wayne broke down and bawled like a baby. He was not ashamed of his crying, he just cried. When he finished, he blew his nose, wiped his eyes, said something almost silently over the calf and went back to work.
I remembered that incident all my life. I also remember thinking at the time "wow, he really is a real man." So if "The Duke" can cry, so can you.
As a side note, the owner did have a necropsy done on the calf (an animal autopsy) and it turned out there was no way she could have survived as she was not fully developed on the inside and was missing some parts. Her brother on the other hand, grew into a very nice beef steer that I imagine fed quite a few families.
43 years later, the ranch is gone. Some of the 'outskirts' of Odessa are built on what was part of the ranch. Sometimes I absolutely despise 'progress!'
Be grateful if you can and do cry. Tears wash our souls and our hearts clean. Tears wash away our fears. Tears wash away the shame. Tears wash away our resentments. Tears clean us out of all the emotions we have stuffed for so many years. Tears help to make us whole for a bit ................. until we start 'stuffing' again. Hopefully, 'tears' will become an ongoing part of your recovery!
You will do great, and you will learn some valuable lessons in the process also.
Good thoughts and prayers going out to you.
Love and hugs,
John Wayne himself cried. I saw him do it, and not in a movie either. It was 1969, I was on my usual late spring, 2 week vacation, at a friends family ranch outside of Odessa TX. I went every year. His father had a big cattle ranch, but also had quite a herd of Long Horn cattle, that had been used many times in western movies. That was how he and Mr. Wayne had become friends over the years.
That year Mr. Wayne was there to help also, with bringing in the cows, and getting ready for calving season. There was one young heifer, it was her first time calving and she had twins, (very unusual in a heifer). We tried very very hard to save the little girl calf but could not. Mr. Wayne broke down and bawled like a baby. He was not ashamed of his crying, he just cried. When he finished, he blew his nose, wiped his eyes, said something almost silently over the calf and went back to work.
I remembered that incident all my life. I also remember thinking at the time "wow, he really is a real man." So if "The Duke" can cry, so can you.
As a side note, the owner did have a necropsy done on the calf (an animal autopsy) and it turned out there was no way she could have survived as she was not fully developed on the inside and was missing some parts. Her brother on the other hand, grew into a very nice beef steer that I imagine fed quite a few families.
43 years later, the ranch is gone. Some of the 'outskirts' of Odessa are built on what was part of the ranch. Sometimes I absolutely despise 'progress!'
Be grateful if you can and do cry. Tears wash our souls and our hearts clean. Tears wash away our fears. Tears wash away the shame. Tears wash away our resentments. Tears clean us out of all the emotions we have stuffed for so many years. Tears help to make us whole for a bit ................. until we start 'stuffing' again. Hopefully, 'tears' will become an ongoing part of your recovery!
You will do great, and you will learn some valuable lessons in the process also.
Good thoughts and prayers going out to you.
Love and hugs,
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