Bruno1979

Hi guys,

Ok, I have stopped drinking. But my life now seems full of boredom. I don't want to sound sad but when I was drinking I never seemed bored.

I was always either asleep, at work, rough or drinking. I know that quitting is for the best and the obvious cure for boredom would be to play with my kids. Which I do.

But, something seems missing. I feel as though I've just come out of a long term relationship and feel lost. Is this normal?

What do you guys do to cure this in the evening? When the kids have gone to bed.

Thanks in advance,

Bruno.

gordano

Nothing is missing, you have gained everything! Your mind is now free from the grips of alcohol. Use this gift to improve family relationships, learn a hobby, exercise - the possibilities are limitless. The problem is that now you have to retrain your mind to start living a healthy lifestyle. This will of course take time and it is quite a shock to a newly sobered mind, but keep working at it!

gordano

....by the way what you are experiencing is completely normal

Anna

If you can go out in the evening you could join a sports team, take a course, go to the gym. I have found that volunteering is a super way to meet sober people and to get outside of your own head.

If you can`t go out, try reading, journalling, watching a movie.

lydiebreeze

Bruno
Mostly I've been cleaning and trying to sit with my own feelings which I definitely masked every night with many, many drinks. It is not fun. But I really want to learn how to live sober. I've been going to AA, going to the gym, looking for a job
Did you have any hobbies? Interests that you always wanted to pursue but never got around to because of John Barleycorn?
I'm an actress and I can't wait to get back to it - that fills an evening.
I also thought that doing something intricate - like building a ship in a bottle - might be helpful...
And I should pick up my guitar again
You'll find something

Bruno1979

Thanks guys,

I am actually a volunteer police officer believe it or not which I could fill many hours with,

Special Constabulary - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

At the moment though I am not doing many hours in that job, this is something that I need to change over the next few weeks.

Until then though I'm sitting at home in the evening watching soap operas on tv.

doggonecarl

Bruno, count your blessing that you have such a life that you can be bored. For most of the course of human history, man was too busy in the daily struggle to survive to be bored. Boredom, for mankind these days, is a result of industrialization, affluence, all those time saving devices we acquire.

Boredom for the alcoholic is the result of the taking away of our source of instant gratification--booze. Your addiction wants his buddy back to play with.

Relish the boredom...or go to bed early. Just don't drink.

Healthyfood

Bruno1979

Boredom is a part of early recovery. Wait till you get to next stage!

Sapling

Maybe I'm different...I didn't have a problem with boredom..I found what direction I wanted to take to get and remain sober...Studied it...Got involved in it...Worked it. This was a life changing event for me...I treated it like that. Whether I was right or wrong..I haven't had a drink in 11 months and I'm enjoying the results of the effort I put in to it...When I quit....Boredom wasn't an issue for me. There was so much to learn about living a new life. I'm still learning...And loving it.

Bruno1979

My addiction really does want his buddy back but he can't have him



:rotfxko

hypochondriac

This is definitely normal Bruno, but really it may be less boredom and more that you're thinking that drinking had more benefits than it actually had. I hear loads of people say that they drank because they were bored, but for me it really did become something I had to do. It might be hard to adjust but don't fall into the trap of thinking that drinking had any magic qualities. Have you ever read the Allen Carr book on drinking? It's quite good at dispelling the myths around alcohol. x

Dee74

It's a really common thing Bruno.

My advice is look at how you'\re spending your leisure hours...sitting for hours in front of the TV was my preferred possition when I was drinking...but it left a lot to be desired once I got sober...I grew as I got sober and stayed that way...I needed more in my life.

Some great suggestions here for finding that 'more'...

D

angel1hd

This is so true. I was so bored when I quit drinking. I had no idea what to do with all of my free time lol. But over time I slowly found other things that I enjoyed doing, and now my life is filled with things that are much more fulfilling than drinking ever was. So, what I'm saying is, it's completely normal to feel bored! Just give yourself time to adjust to your new lifestyle

Bruno1979

Thanks matey,

Yes you're right,

When you said allen carr just I thought immediately of the comedian alan carr. :-D.

But I know who you mean, he's the guy who did the easy way series of books. I have read the drinking one yes but it was a while ago and before things accelerated on the drinking front. I believe he's dead now?

Thanks again,

Bruno.

least

You have just ended a relationship - with alcohol. Your body and mind are adjusting to its absence, that's all. Give yourself time and good food and rest - you'll feel less lost.

DarkDays

I would be rather be bored sensless sober than bored senseless drinking, well i found the drinking process just dull in the last couple of years.

Yes boredom/moods are all up and down for first few months, well I am nearly at 5 months and still allover the place, but there are real good glimpses of a new life that awaits.

auden67

Very normal, from what I can tell. I have to check myself on activities I used to do, but now scouring for new ones. Like bike tours on Saturday mornings, reading books I stopped having the sober patience to read, thinking about expanding career skills and hobbies. Keeps me excited rather than discouraged. But at least you know you are in good company, sounds like many folks have gone through it!

StevenT

One thing in my experience that helps alleviate boredom is surrounding myself with others in recovery, or those who know how to have fun sober. Coming on here, sharing the message, listening to the message, and generally spending my time in a positive way is one way that I plan on doing this. I've found that human beings are generally a very social lot, and although in my active disease I tended to isolate, being around others in my recovery tends to lift my spirits and make time pass in a way where I don't seem to watch the clock, as it were. I'm not sure if you're working a program with an A after it, but if you are, going to the meetings and getting to know people, then exploring that newfound relationship outside of the meetings is a great way to develop a positive, productive and non boring life in recovery. As I type this I am actually over at a homegroup members house, spending the week with them as they don't have the gas to make a meeting or even get out of the house. I've found this life to be much more preferable to the isolation that I exercised in my addiction.

Hope this helps,
Steven

Sapling

Welcome to SR StevenT...What an awesome first post. Works for me.

sugarbear1

crafts, repainting old bookshelves, computer, reading, or getting to a meeting, on the phone, there are things to do, but it's developing new habits.

any games you and spouse play? cards, monopoly? anything? Write a list....