Afraid of AA?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Boston,Ma
Posts: 50
Afraid of AA?
Hello friends-
I'm just over 15 months sober. I used to spend alot of time here and it was a huge help in my early recovery, I'm glad you've found this site too.
I've read posts here where a few of you feel you're not ready, or fearful of that first meeting. Let me try to eliminate those fears.
For years I avoided AA. I was different. I felt I could get through the latest episode on my own and eventually everyone would get off my back . After all, hadn't that worked a million times before? Well for me, a million times was enough. Sure, I could have probably BS'd everyone 1 more time, but I was done BS'ing myself. I knew if I continued, the next episode would be worse. I had already lost my company. Did I need to lose my family, my house, or my freedom to finally realize it was time to stop? Even a thick headed Irishman like me realized it was time. I also realized I couldn't do it on my own.
When I was active, I thought AA was for the weak. I thought they were a cult of Big Book thumping religious zealots who would try to brainwash me and make me stand in front of the room and announce I was Jim and I was an Alcoholic.
My conception of AA, and perhaps some of yours, could not have been further from the truth. These people are not weak. They are some of the strongest people I've ever met. They know the solution to our disease is help each other. They didn't even make me speak until I was ready. I've found a place full of people like me, and I'll be forever grateful.
You don't have to do this on your own. The hell you're living in can stop now.
We want and need you to come. Helping newcomers is how we help ourselves. I go to 3 AA meetings a week because I want to. I go to be with others who understand me and where I've been without judgement. I go to try and help people like you because AA helped someone like me.
Please come, you'll always be welcome, and you'll never show up too soon.
SH
I'm just over 15 months sober. I used to spend alot of time here and it was a huge help in my early recovery, I'm glad you've found this site too.
I've read posts here where a few of you feel you're not ready, or fearful of that first meeting. Let me try to eliminate those fears.
For years I avoided AA. I was different. I felt I could get through the latest episode on my own and eventually everyone would get off my back . After all, hadn't that worked a million times before? Well for me, a million times was enough. Sure, I could have probably BS'd everyone 1 more time, but I was done BS'ing myself. I knew if I continued, the next episode would be worse. I had already lost my company. Did I need to lose my family, my house, or my freedom to finally realize it was time to stop? Even a thick headed Irishman like me realized it was time. I also realized I couldn't do it on my own.
When I was active, I thought AA was for the weak. I thought they were a cult of Big Book thumping religious zealots who would try to brainwash me and make me stand in front of the room and announce I was Jim and I was an Alcoholic.
My conception of AA, and perhaps some of yours, could not have been further from the truth. These people are not weak. They are some of the strongest people I've ever met. They know the solution to our disease is help each other. They didn't even make me speak until I was ready. I've found a place full of people like me, and I'll be forever grateful.
You don't have to do this on your own. The hell you're living in can stop now.
We want and need you to come. Helping newcomers is how we help ourselves. I go to 3 AA meetings a week because I want to. I go to be with others who understand me and where I've been without judgement. I go to try and help people like you because AA helped someone like me.
Please come, you'll always be welcome, and you'll never show up too soon.
SH
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
It was wonderful to read your post. We were just talking about this last night, you know the meeting after the meeting.
There was a newcomer that has been struggling and she couldn't get over the unconditional love she found in AA. In my hometown the love we have for each other is just amazing.
The newcomers help me more than anything. I have been sober for over 9 years, but all I have is today.
Thanks for the post!
There was a newcomer that has been struggling and she couldn't get over the unconditional love she found in AA. In my hometown the love we have for each other is just amazing.
The newcomers help me more than anything. I have been sober for over 9 years, but all I have is today.
Thanks for the post!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Thankyou for your post. I loved AA meetings too, but have been too ashamed to go back since I relapsed last Friday. Although it was only 1 night, and I haven't drunk since, I just feel sick at the thought of returning and admitting my weakness to all those lovely people.
This post has made me think about going back and has reminded me of all the reasons I should x
This post has made me think about going back and has reminded me of all the reasons I should x
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Hooligan - one word: Yup!
I could have written that word for word from MY heart.... I've been amazed at all the beliefs, the preconceived ideas, the prejudices I have/have had that turned out to be just plain wrong. Finding out what AA is REALLY like by experiencing it first hand with what little openness I had was the first of MANY lessons I've learned.
What I "knew" but couldn't seem to pull of was hurting me pretty bad.......but what I "knew" but was 180 degrees off-line was killing me - and I didn't even know that I didn't know.
nice post
I could have written that word for word from MY heart.... I've been amazed at all the beliefs, the preconceived ideas, the prejudices I have/have had that turned out to be just plain wrong. Finding out what AA is REALLY like by experiencing it first hand with what little openness I had was the first of MANY lessons I've learned.
What I "knew" but couldn't seem to pull of was hurting me pretty bad.......but what I "knew" but was 180 degrees off-line was killing me - and I didn't even know that I didn't know.
nice post
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
the hardest doors to an AA meeting for me to open were the ones at my 1st meeting....and they were automatic doors!
jeni, PLEASE!! get some courage to face the fear and get back into action of recovery!!!
we are weak on our own. there is strength in numbers.
jeni, PLEASE!! get some courage to face the fear and get back into action of recovery!!!
we are weak on our own. there is strength in numbers.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
.......and Jeni.... ca-mon! I mean, what fun is it to talk to 65 year old Marge with her 30+ years of sobriety and has everything in life going her way? LOL
Honest to God, I'd rather talk with someone who's last drink was right before the damn MEETING than someone who's right where I am, everything's fine and we get lost in a discussion about the meaning of the word "the" in a step.
Honest to God, I'd rather talk with someone who's last drink was right before the damn MEETING than someone who's right where I am, everything's fine and we get lost in a discussion about the meaning of the word "the" in a step.
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
The program definitely isn't what i thought it was but some of the people certainly are. And that's just fine. There's never been a large group of people where i agreed with everybody and i have made some beautiful friends in the rooms. Most importantly the steps have changed me.
But i also know people who got and stay sober without the help of a 12 step program.
But i also know people who got and stay sober without the help of a 12 step program.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
The second meeting I went to was on a day when I'd been drinking. And the same day when I finally decided that I was going to get help to quit, rather than just saying, 'Meh, quitting's too hard. I'll just carry on drinking.'
It's the thought of having to admit that I've slipped up that helps keep me sober. I know they'd understand, and be sympathetic, but still... I don't want to, I was going to say 'let them down' but that's not quite what I mean. Then again, I can't think of a better way of putting it.
It's the thought of having to admit that I've slipped up that helps keep me sober. I know they'd understand, and be sympathetic, but still... I don't want to, I was going to say 'let them down' but that's not quite what I mean. Then again, I can't think of a better way of putting it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Jeni26 
Thankyou for your post. I loved AA meetings too, but have been too ashamed to go back since I relapsed last Friday. Although it was only 1 night, and I haven't drunk since, I just feel sick at the thought of returning and admitting my weakness to all those lovely people.
This post has made me think about going back and has reminded me of all the reasons I should x
This post has made me think about going back and has reminded me of all the reasons I should x
When I felt those uncomfortable feelings, I ran (literally or to the bottle).
Feel the feelings then do the right thing anyway. The folks at your group will welcome you back with open arms and you'll be right back home in no-time.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by SoberHooligan
...
My conception of AA, and perhaps some of yours, could not have been further from the truth. These people are not weak. They are some of the strongest people I've ever met.
...
SH
My conception of AA, and perhaps some of yours, could not have been further from the truth. These people are not weak. They are some of the strongest people I've ever met.
...
SH
Again, I'm speaking of the folks who do the work living the steps only, because inevitably there will be a 'knucklehead infiltration' no matter where you are. AA isn't immune to a$$hats. But those genuine folks walking the walk, practicing the steps 24/7, they are no less impressive to me than any guru, master, specialist, or mentor I've ever met - regardless the subject matter. They just seem to have a handle on that whole serenity/synchronicity/peace/calm vibe, a vibe that I never once realized I had been looking for my entire life. Who knew one could find such a potentially fulfilling and meaningful life simply from trying to crawl out of a bottle.
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