Lost3000

Yesterday was really hard for me, much harder than I anticipated.

My niece on my husband's side and three kids came over. They are three innocent and loving, but extremely unruly, undisciplined bratty kids. My niece IMHO, is entirely too young and immature to be raising the three. We've had a rocky relationship as a result but I've tried my hardest to support her.

So they all came over for a belated birthday for the one kid and a general bbq get together. The kids are nonstop fighting, screaming, crying, temper tantrumming. Niece does minimal damage control.

We finally get to the birthday gift and my nephew opens the gift, drops the book and kicks it across the floor and tosses the t-shirt aside. So disappointing.

They spent hours and hours at our house, playing video games and generally wearing me down. Before I knew it, I found myself downing soda water like it was going out of style. I was stressed to the max.

Once they finally leave, I found myself craving a drink. Hardcore. It felt like a stress response. I tried to lay down, relax. Ate some ice cream cake. Cooked dinner. More ice cream cake. Finally I took a shower and read myself to sleep.

UGH!!!!

Lost3000

Also meant to say, that early on I posted on FB about my 30 days, just a short note. Niece latched on to it right away. I ended up deleting the thread and giving her a vague response when she questioned me.

At dessert yesterday, she said, I thought dessert was your least favorite meal? I said, oh I love dessert now! She says, oh, is this post-sobriety?

She didn't say it with any type of meanness but for some reason I felt like it was a dig. My husband thinks I'm being overly sensitive and he's probably right. But with her it feels like she's digging. I just answered "yes" and let it go. She didn't push. It just feels like she's always watching me - drinking soda water and whatnot. I drank pretty heavily around her before.

gordano

I know exactly where you are coming from. My wife's sister went through a divorce and recently was evicted from her apartment because she couldn't pay. As a result she has been living with us the last 5 months. She has two girls that are disrespectful to adults and always fight and yell at each other. I was at the end of my rope this weekend and almost gave in to just "one drink." Thankfully I didn't but its was really hard to resist. Glad to hear I wasn't the only one dealing with this on my day off. Good job refusing to drink!

doggonecarl

Way to handle a stressful situation. Look at the bright side, they stayed a few hours and left. Your neice has that every day.

Lost3000

Good lord, no kidding. Glad it's not my life. I also just realized after reading OCDan's post, that this was my first sober Memorial Day in I don't know how many years. I'd say at least 15 years.

Lost3000

Oh my. That sounds extremely stressful. I tried a variety of ways to relax my brain, finally bed time did it.

doggonecarl

There are some things Facebook is great for, I guess. Posting recovery milestones isn't one them.

That's what we are here for. Congrats on 30!

Lost3000

Oh yeah, I know!!! That was about 4 months ago. I celebrate 5 months tomorrow!!

Purplecatlover

Sounds like she's jealous of you. You did a good job keeping your head. Selfish people want others to fail so they will feel better about their own failures.
That may not be true in her case but in general.
Anyway, you rose above the temptation & you are now stronger for it.
Way to go!

doggonecarl

Even better. Congrats X 5

Sapling

Nice job Lost...Those are just tests life throws at us...And a good reminder it's just something that a drink won't make any better. Is your niece a drinker?

gordano

I just closed myself off in my air conditioned bed room and read Rational Recovery (AVRT). When I get an urge to drink I usually either pick up this or the Big Book. It helps me stay focused on my sobriety.

sugarbear1

You made it through without a drink! Way to go!!

Lost3000

I never thought of it that way. I'm certain she has those feelings regarding our lifestyle. We chose to not have kids, own a house, cars, have great jobs, and travel a lot. All things she does not have. She chose to have a child at 17, then 2 more, then leave her husband and live in a crappy apt. in a crappy neighborhood. She's finished high school and that's it. My husband helped her get a job at his work.

Wow, now that I'm typing that I realize just how bad off she is. I've always felt bad for her but now I feel really bad. I cooked this awesome meal yesterday and packed up all the heavy leftovers and gave them to her. That felt good.

Lost3000

She has been a drinker lately. Posting drunken pics on FB and drunken posts. She's always drank come to think of it. I'm sure she's noticed the lack of booze in my house. Our house is always the place of family get togethers.

Lost3000

So smart. I hid in the kitchen. You know, lately I've been neglecting my AA duties. I'm meeting my sponsor tonight and will try for a meeting very soon. Really smart of you on having a recovery book nearby.

Lost3000

So funny, I don't think of these things any more. You are right. Thank you.

gordano

Thanks, I actually have 5 recovery books by my bed stand in case of an emergency. My wife's sister walked in there one day and made a comment about how bad my alcoholism must be since I have so many books on the subject. I just smiled and told her I would do anything it takes to stay sober and 5 books was only scratching the surface of my commitment. It did bother me though since she is a daily drinker (at least a six pack a night), and she probably could improve her life dramatically if she didn't drink, but she needs to realize this for herself. I can only worry about my own sobriety.

Lost3000

Which part bothered you?

I'm sensitive about my alcoholism. I've only told a few select that I'm very close to.

sugarbear1

You might be the catalyst your niece needs so she can stay stopped, too. Her children's behavior may improve if Mommy's behavior improves. Something to think about.

Enjoy another sober day!~