OheemJah

I should've listened to everyone on here! My dad came to visit, is an active alcoholic and had booze in the house. He knew I was trying to quit but didn't care. Everyone on here said no booze in the house so early on in recovery. (I was only 3 mos. sober). I didn't drink the whole time he was here, the night that he left I was so upset that he was such a jerk and didn't care about my feelings I had a couple of drinks.

I don't understand why people hurt me, so I choose to hurt myself! And once again, it was a horrible feeling. I didn't like being drunk and it made me feel like complete crap for the next couple of days after. I am coming to the conclusion that my body is now completely rejecting it after five yrs. of abuse.

I remember when I quit smoking ( 4 yrs. ago ) I had a couple of slip ups before I COMPLETELY stopped. I am hoping this is that last of the slip ups, and I can learn to deal with my emotions without hurting myself. I guess I just need to stay positive and keep trudging forward on my sober journey! I want this more than anything! I have done so well, I can't just throw it away.

Thank you for listening!!

Anna

We give good advice here.

Some of the decisions we need to make are really hard. Clearly your Dad is not supportive and moreover you were upset by being around him. Maybe don't be in a rush to visit with him again.

I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.

scrambled2012

"I don't understand why people hurt me, so I choose to hurt myself!"

This is about more then you OheemJ; your abusing alcohol puts innocent people at risk; even if its only the delay that would be caused in responding to another persons emergency because the fire department is dealing with your house, that you accedently set on fire, ya know?

I am sorry about your pop, but you need to end the cycle, not continue it. It's not about you; its bigger then you. I know pain sucks, but perhaps this perspective will help you deal with that also. It works for me anyway.

See you on the boards~~~~

12skiptomylue

I can totally relate to this!!

I share a house with a roommate who drinks pretty heavily but is not an alcoholic. She pretty much moved out for months to be with her boyfriend, but is now back living in our house. And she brought alcohol with her. Not liquor, just wine and champagne. But it's so annoying that I have to stare at it every day.

Yesterday, she left an empty bottle on the counter, again. I picked it up and put it in the trash. Just that act of holding the bottle made me crave. I could actually *taste* it, and the memory was so good. But I know that's romancing the drink. And not where I should be.

My roommate knows I'm not drinking, and she did remove all the liquor from the house, which was nice. But we are only living together for the next month, and then going our seperate ways.

hypochondriac

Sorry to hear this OheemJah

^^ I always saw this as just addiction, everything becomes an excuse to use. Before, if anyone upset me my only response would be to drink and smoke excessively. Now I have to try and figure out a solution and usually I have to do it quickly so I don't let it drag out and make me want to drink. I had someone upset with me today and I started getting that pang..but instead I just phoned them up to straighten it out. It's harder with family I guess, but sometimes it's not a bad idea to limit our time with them, especially if they're not supportive.

Well done on getting back on track x

Dee74

I'm sorry your father wasn't supportive - but support and thoughtfulness were not exactly my strong points when I was drinking either....

I'm glad the visit is over and that you're back with us

D

BoozeFree

I just went thru a similar thing this weekend except it was my sister. Try and look at it as a learning experience and not beat yourself up too much over it.

ReadyAndAble

That's where I ended up, too, right before I quit for good. There's no reason this can't be the last time you suffer through everything that comes with it, OJ. And there's nowhere but up to go from here.