Acceptance
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by Sapling 
Rarely have we seen a person fail......Did you work them honestly, fearlessly and thoroughly as laid out in the Big Book with a sponsor....Someone that has had a spritual awakening as a result of these steps?
What is this spiritual awakening that you talk about?
Thanks in advance,
Bruno.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Here you go Bruno.
The terms “spiritual experience” and “spiritual awakening” are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms.
Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous. In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming “God-consciousness” followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.
Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule. Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the “educational variety” because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.
Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it “God-consciousness.”
Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”
HERBERT SPENCER
Spiritual Experience
The terms “spiritual experience” and “spiritual awakening” are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms.
Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals. Happily for everyone, this conclusion is erroneous. In the first few chapters a number of sudden revolutionary changes are described. Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded that in order to recover they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming “God-consciousness” followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.
Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule. Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the “educational variety” because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.
Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it “God-consciousness.”
Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”
HERBERT SPENCER
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
And now, behold, I am staring at an abyss of suffering. Same old, age old story I suppose. I have no contempt for what works. I'm heading back to AA friday night, tail between my legs. I honestly think my motives are inscrutable. I don't even know who I am anymore. Thank you all again for the support.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
God can do, what we ourselves can not.
Why not go Fri & Sat?
I'm sure there will be others w/tails tucked in.
Best wishes to you.
I pray you can escape the insanity & find the true peace/freedom that sobriety brings.
Why not go Fri & Sat?
I'm sure there will be others w/tails tucked in.
Best wishes to you.
I pray you can escape the insanity & find the true peace/freedom that sobriety brings.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
I do not want to be what I am. Like a lot of young folks I went through a phase of reading a lot of Nietzsche. "Become what you are", besides being a grammatically and logically strange thought, always stuck with me. Clearly I need to accept being a drunk. I need to become it to move beyond it. Maybe this is how AA will finally click with me. I believe in the "fake it til you make it" principle. The form not the content (I'm sure Sapling may disagree with this). I need to be with some people who have been stuck in the same spot as me. In the mean time my son has a sporting event tonight that I need to participate in and...I need to reel it in.
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Originally Posted by oinobares
Clearly I need to accept being a drunk. I need to become it to move beyond it. Maybe this is how AA will finally click with me. I believe in the "fake it til you make it" principle. The form not the content (I'm sure Sapling may disagree with this).
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Essentially I am enraged. I don't feel like anyone can understand my current situation. I've taken step one. I just took step one. I am on my knees. Right now I am alone.
I can drink a few more and kill it off. This is why I am an alcoholic.
I can drink a few more and kill it off. This is why I am an alcoholic.
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I have a friend in AA who's been in and out for years. He takes step one and goes out and celebrates with a drink...He's gone for a week and comes back. You have to smash that idea you can do that. If you say you have to fake it...You're not admitting to your innermost self that you are an alcoholic...And that's not possible for you. You can't drink even if your ass is falling off...You know what I mean?
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Originally Posted by oinobares
My kids already know I am an alcoholic...and for lords sake this is a horrible thing. They know very well, even without a lot of drama.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
You don't have to label yourself anything you don't want to. I don't drink because drinking quit working for me. I don't label myself anything. I just don't drink. I felt great shame when I was a drunk, but I am not that now.
If you find the term alcoholic or drunk or whatever off-putting, then don't use it. I don't think it is meant to be pejorative as it appears in the BB. It was just a term to describe a pattern of behaviors related to alcohol. Well that is my best guess anyway.
I hope you find some peace. I do know that my relationships with my family improved dramatically once I was sober for a few months. After a year I guess they began to trust that this time I really was hell-bent on doing something about my condition.
If you find the term alcoholic or drunk or whatever off-putting, then don't use it. I don't think it is meant to be pejorative as it appears in the BB. It was just a term to describe a pattern of behaviors related to alcohol. Well that is my best guess anyway.
I hope you find some peace. I do know that my relationships with my family improved dramatically once I was sober for a few months. After a year I guess they began to trust that this time I really was hell-bent on doing something about my condition.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
I think I've got my acceptance. I have been living drinking to drink and my life is a grand farce. This has happened quickly since I tossed my three months over board. We still have house guests and it is exceedingly rough to deal with this now. The story is the same. I'm hanging on by a thread right now, and that slim thread is booze. I wish my wife could see my brokenness and have some compassion. Right now she is just is fed up.
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Originally Posted by Sapling
Go back and reread this thread from page one...See if you missed something.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
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I don't know what to say...If AA is the way you want to go...Until you put down the drink and accept this...I don't see it working. I had to burn this into my brain...Then I could work the steps. Or it would have been insanity or death for me.
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
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