Acceptance
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
It's really hard to have this situation when we have house guests, so I would love to here how you all have dealt with a predicament like that. have no control, or I wouldn't be here.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
when the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality, i stepped off the elevator and worked my way back up. it took T.I.M.E. but i am free from the bondage of alcohol and insanity today.
i saw in an earlier post you say you have the devil on your shoulder. welp, i had a monkey on my back. just getting him off my back didnt work. i had to kill the lil bas**rd. that took a willingness to do whatever i had to do.
i saw in an earlier post you say you have the devil on your shoulder. welp, i had a monkey on my back. just getting him off my back didnt work. i had to kill the lil bas**rd. that took a willingness to do whatever i had to do.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
Sapling: as far as recovery is concerned, you are worth all the pages of Aristotle I have ever read. Purplecatlover you are the Buddha. I'm sorry I come on the site and unload my difficulties. I'm an alcoholic and that's why I am here. I know I need to stop.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
My house is too small for house guests but I was very careful what I did socially for a few months - I'd determined my recovery had to come first.
You don't need to be a hermit, and you don;t need to isolate yourself socially forever, but I do think you need to think about how you spend your time and who you spend it with...& make recovery a priority for a little while.
I'm unsure about your circumstances oinobares but I'd probably postpone any guests if possible until you get a handle on this - & you will
D
You don't need to be a hermit, and you don;t need to isolate yourself socially forever, but I do think you need to think about how you spend your time and who you spend it with...& make recovery a priority for a little while.
I'm unsure about your circumstances oinobares but I'd probably postpone any guests if possible until you get a handle on this - & you will
D
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Originally Posted by oinobares 
I spend way to much time worrying about other people. My dear mother has even said: start worrying about yourself, i.e. take care of yourself.
I really wasn't trusting in my HP if I was worrying about others. What I learned was that I needed to quit worrying and start praying for them.
I am praying for you!!
Lily
My serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I'm an alcoholic just like you oinobares...That's it. I think it's time for you to stop worrying about houseguests...Start hitting some meetings..Get connected with your sponsor and some people working the program. Get involved with it and start working those steps honestly...They are a lot easier to do if you get step one down right. And I agree with Lily....Time to start praying for others and stop trying to fix them.....The only one you have to fix right now is you...I'd read page 86 and 87 in the Big Book everday and get busy....Take your sponsors suggestions and follow them. You can do this...How much willingness do you have?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
Originally Posted by Sapling
I'm an alcoholic just like you oinobares...That's it. I think it's time for you to stop worrying about houseguests...Start hitting some meetings..Get connected with your sponsor and some people working the program. Get involved with it and start working those steps honestly...They are a lot easier to do if you get step one down right. And I agree with Lily....Time to start praying for others and stop trying to fix them.....The only one you have to fix right now is you...I'd read page 86 and 87 in the Big Book everday and get busy....Take your sponsors suggestions and follow them. You can do this...How much willingness do you have?
The biggest problem I have goes right back to the core of this topic. I don't like
feeling enslaved by a problem. I literally do not want to accept this fate.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
Don't apologize for unloading on us. We've all been where you are. We've all wrestled with addiction, haggled in our minds, struggled in our souls.
It is a battle. But a "win"able one.
None of us want to be "not normal". None of us like the fact that we are different than most, that we can't just have a few & be good. But it is what it is. I didn't like it, I was angry for awhile but that solved nothing.
I had to realize & accept that I, me, only me could not drink anymore. Ever. I had to accept that alcohol could not ever be a part of my life again, if I were to have the happy, peaceful, content life I wanted.
It was hard, I was sad, I was angry but those are just feelings.
Feelings can not hurt you. You can let alcohol go.
You must decide that you will do WHATEVER it takes to stay sober whether that's AA, avoiding people, places... Reading SR constantly, etc.
Once I accepted (embraced) that alcohol would never make me happy, it could not make my life in any way better. I accepted the truth that it was ruining me & all I had worked hard for. That is was evil & not my friend. When I could see it for the poison it was, only then could I move on & not look back.
I do not crave it, I do not miss it.
My life is mine again. I am not controlled anymore. I have freedom. I enjoy my life & am grateful for the opportunity god has given me to live life the way it was intended.
So often we live our lives in chains without realizing we hold the keys.
Unlock the prison gates & walk away. You can do this. Thousands here have rise from the ashes & gone on to live free lives. You can, too.
It is a battle. But a "win"able one.
None of us want to be "not normal". None of us like the fact that we are different than most, that we can't just have a few & be good. But it is what it is. I didn't like it, I was angry for awhile but that solved nothing.
I had to realize & accept that I, me, only me could not drink anymore. Ever. I had to accept that alcohol could not ever be a part of my life again, if I were to have the happy, peaceful, content life I wanted.
It was hard, I was sad, I was angry but those are just feelings.
Feelings can not hurt you. You can let alcohol go.
You must decide that you will do WHATEVER it takes to stay sober whether that's AA, avoiding people, places... Reading SR constantly, etc.
Once I accepted (embraced) that alcohol would never make me happy, it could not make my life in any way better. I accepted the truth that it was ruining me & all I had worked hard for. That is was evil & not my friend. When I could see it for the poison it was, only then could I move on & not look back.
I do not crave it, I do not miss it.
My life is mine again. I am not controlled anymore. I have freedom. I enjoy my life & am grateful for the opportunity god has given me to live life the way it was intended.
So often we live our lives in chains without realizing we hold the keys.
Unlock the prison gates & walk away. You can do this. Thousands here have rise from the ashes & gone on to live free lives. You can, too.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 277
Originally Posted by Purplecatlover
Don't apologize for unloading on us. We've all been where you are. We've all wrestled with addiction, haggled in our minds, struggled in our souls.
It is a battle. But a "win"able one.
None of us want to be "not normal". None of us like the fact that we are different than most, that we can't just have a few & be good. But it is what it is. I didn't like it, I was angry for awhile but that solved nothing.
I had to realize & accept that I, me, only me could not drink anymore. Ever. I had to accept that alcohol could not ever be a part of my life again, if I were to have the happy, peaceful, content life I wanted.
It was hard, I was sad, I was angry but those are just feelings.
Feelings can not hurt you. You can let alcohol go.
You must decide that you will do WHATEVER it takes to stay sober whether that's AA, avoiding people, places... Reading SR constantly, etc.
Once I accepted (embraced) that alcohol would never make me happy, it could not make my life in any way better. I accepted the truth that it was ruining me & all I had worked hard for. That is was evil & not my friend. When I could see it for the poison it was, only then could I move on & not look back.
I do not crave it, I do not miss it.
My life is mine again.
It is a battle. But a "win"able one.
None of us want to be "not normal". None of us like the fact that we are different than most, that we can't just have a few & be good. But it is what it is. I didn't like it, I was angry for awhile but that solved nothing.
I had to realize & accept that I, me, only me could not drink anymore. Ever. I had to accept that alcohol could not ever be a part of my life again, if I were to have the happy, peaceful, content life I wanted.
It was hard, I was sad, I was angry but those are just feelings.
Feelings can not hurt you. You can let alcohol go.
You must decide that you will do WHATEVER it takes to stay sober whether that's AA, avoiding people, places... Reading SR constantly, etc.
Once I accepted (embraced) that alcohol would never make me happy, it could not make my life in any way better. I accepted the truth that it was ruining me & all I had worked hard for. That is was evil & not my friend. When I could see it for the poison it was, only then could I move on & not look back.
I do not crave it, I do not miss it.
My life is mine again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
Have you checked out Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey? AVRT? There's some info on it under secular connections off main SR page here. It might help you to look at it from another angle.
Do YOU really like drinking? Or is it the little beast on your shoulder?
Is that high feeling really worth all that you're throwing away?
You said you were happy when you were sober. So being sober is not awful.
Your beast just likes that high feeling. Right?
AVRT teaches us to recognize the AV, the addictive voice as a separate entity than ourselves. It wants to drink, it wants to be high, not you.
Do you feel like there are 2 of you in the same mind? Devil on your shoulder? it's the
beast making you think it's you wanting to drink.
You want to stop, it does not want you to.
I got what I could from AA but I needed something else. AVRT made sense to me, as I over analyze things, too.
It won't hurt to check it out & see what you think.
Do YOU really like drinking? Or is it the little beast on your shoulder?
Is that high feeling really worth all that you're throwing away?
You said you were happy when you were sober. So being sober is not awful.
Your beast just likes that high feeling. Right?
AVRT teaches us to recognize the AV, the addictive voice as a separate entity than ourselves. It wants to drink, it wants to be high, not you.
Do you feel like there are 2 of you in the same mind? Devil on your shoulder? it's the
beast making you think it's you wanting to drink.
You want to stop, it does not want you to.
I got what I could from AA but I needed something else. AVRT made sense to me, as I over analyze things, too.
It won't hurt to check it out & see what you think.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
If you want to try AVRT...Go for it. The reason AA worked for me is alcoholism engulfed me....It controlled what I thought...What I did...Where I went...What I dreamt. I had to change my thinking....Alcohol was just a symptom of my problem...I was the problem. Until I got honest with myself and what made me tick...What made me an alcoholic....I couldn't be happy. I needed to face and clear the wreckage of my past...Right my wrongs....Get God into my life and completely change the way I thought...And lived. It's a free gift and I took it. And I'm not giving it back for nothing. Do what you have to do oinobares....Just do it before you lose everything...Like I did. Learn from my mistakes....No need to make them yourself to figure this out.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by oinobares
I have always hated feeling "different." I can tell you that as far as alcohol is concerned, I wanted to be the master of it more than it has mastered me. I wanted to be unaffected by it. Clearly I was hugely affected by it, and that was not a battle that I won. When I started waking up and sneaking drinks I knew the battle was over. I don't want it to be over. I like drinking. But as Sapling very simply said "I am done." The strange thing is I felt great without it, so I need help to envision continuing that sobriety. Otherwise i'll die a drunk.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
No program of recovery will work until you make a commitment to staying stopped.
Are you ready to stay stopped?
Your 6 year old is wise to what is going on, I'm sure he'd rather have dad play a game with him than to stay in his study and pass out. And then there's your wife who would most likely want to have a husband who is fully present in her life, too.
Peace,
Are you ready to stay stopped?
Your 6 year old is wise to what is going on, I'm sure he'd rather have dad play a game with him than to stay in his study and pass out. And then there's your wife who would most likely want to have a husband who is fully present in her life, too.
Peace,
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,949
AVRT and CBT along with other life skills may be most helpful to you Oinobares.
Alcohol (and drugs) made my life unbearable too. I became a slave to the drink, making me hurt the people that I loved and those that loved me back. Eventually my alcohol addiction destroyed my very being. I lost everything and everyone that what was near and dear to me. I had fallen to a point that the only way I could reclaim my mental/emotional/physical health was to stop ingesting the poison that at one time I thought was my 'medicine for coping' with life.
I would suggest you learn about the different ways to be recovered from an illness that will eventually cause you great harm or death.
Here's a link to The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (Google book preview including the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT) and see if this helps.
Alcohol (and drugs) made my life unbearable too. I became a slave to the drink, making me hurt the people that I loved and those that loved me back. Eventually my alcohol addiction destroyed my very being. I lost everything and everyone that what was near and dear to me. I had fallen to a point that the only way I could reclaim my mental/emotional/physical health was to stop ingesting the poison that at one time I thought was my 'medicine for coping' with life.
I would suggest you learn about the different ways to be recovered from an illness that will eventually cause you great harm or death.
Here's a link to The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (Google book preview including the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT) and see if this helps.
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