MycoolFitz

Took a high dose Valium (prescribed by my hospital DR) for when my anxiety threatens to set my heart condition off. But now I just feel like I've lost my own sense of self. I can't focus, I can't produce, nothing feels right, nothing feels normal or good. I'm just spaced and it doesn't feel like a good space. Used to love it, now I just wish I could wish it out of my system. I feel like I just relapsed even though I took it for the reason prescribed and according to the way it was prescribed. I feel like I'm darned if I don't and darned if I do. I despise this condition and this "solution". I just feel lost and alone and confused and scared and sad and angry. Dang heart and danged "treatment". I can't do this and not feel like I've betrayed my self. I don't what I'm after by posting but I had to share or feel like I'm going nuts.I was really accomplishing stuff around my place today, now I feel like In a Gada Da Vida. I just want to feel anxious and productive but then the heart goes pity pater, pity pater. That's all, just venting. Thanks for listening.

Impurrfect

((Fitz)) - sorry you're feeling that way, but we certainly don't want your heart acting up. I know it's a long weekend, but maybe talk to your dr. when you can and tell him about it?

I had a similar feeling when I had some major dental work with what they gave me...did NOT like it at all, even though it was the exact feeling I used to crave. Lucky for me, it wore off quick, but my first reaction was feeling like I was doing something bad

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Zencat

Venting is good. Hows today going? Better I hope.

nel68

****{Fitz}}} Hang in there buddy, you got us

MycoolFitz

Today is much better, no Valium. I'm cleaning my place as best as I can but I simply take frequent short breaks to breathe, check in with SR, listen to music, etc. I know the hospital over-medicated me as a short term fix while I am now looking for long term solutions. I think I even got morhine, reminds me of a 20s song. Thanks for checking up. Hope you all are doing swell. All my heart (not literally) to you.

2granddaughters

Fitz, do you go to AA meetings?

Bob

foodie1

Glad you're doing better Fitz, your heart's kind of important! Isn't it funny how that high we used to chase is now what we seek to avoid? Well done on caring for your sobriety AND on taking care of your health.