trying out the site
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: In the studio
Posts: 16
trying out the site
Sorry about the long post.
I am 21, which I know is young and I've only had a few months of legal drinking. But the truth is I don't think I've gone more than a few days without binge drinking since I was about 17. I started getting drunk, really drunk at around 13 or 14, and steadily picked up speed. It's to the point now where I drink 8 to 12 beers a night. I am just tired of feeling like crap. I am not sure if I am an alcoholic or not. I do know that I often give in to drinking after telling myself that I am going to "take a break."
I am an overwhelming negative person, and drinking tends to enhance my mood and social interactions. I always wake up the next day at around 1pm feeling horrible and say to myself, "that was embarrassing...that's it, no more for a while. I have to stop this." and then it is right back to the store at like 8 buying a 12 pack or a couple of 40s. I guess I do have a problem. I have a very addictive personality whether it be alcohol, coke(in my late teens), or the attention of my fiance.
I guess I just wanted to find some anonymous help. I am keeping this secret from my family and fiance, and the truth is I just can't fathom admitting to everyone that I have a problem because I don't wish to appear weak. I should be able to drink socially like everyone else. I know that it is common for people my age to dabble in excess, I mean hey, College right? But the truth is I am afraid of further developing into a full on drinking machine. Like I said its already been a few years of heavy drinking, and to put things into perspective, I am 5' 11" and only 125 lbs, rarely eat, and can put away a 5th of whiskey in a few hours. I know that typically my peers would brag about that, but I don't want it anymore.
I am really going to try and see what a sober life is like. Since I've never seriously tried, I hope it'll be easy and not prove that I really am addicted.
Anyway, HI.
I am 21, which I know is young and I've only had a few months of legal drinking. But the truth is I don't think I've gone more than a few days without binge drinking since I was about 17. I started getting drunk, really drunk at around 13 or 14, and steadily picked up speed. It's to the point now where I drink 8 to 12 beers a night. I am just tired of feeling like crap. I am not sure if I am an alcoholic or not. I do know that I often give in to drinking after telling myself that I am going to "take a break."
I am an overwhelming negative person, and drinking tends to enhance my mood and social interactions. I always wake up the next day at around 1pm feeling horrible and say to myself, "that was embarrassing...that's it, no more for a while. I have to stop this." and then it is right back to the store at like 8 buying a 12 pack or a couple of 40s. I guess I do have a problem. I have a very addictive personality whether it be alcohol, coke(in my late teens), or the attention of my fiance.
I guess I just wanted to find some anonymous help. I am keeping this secret from my family and fiance, and the truth is I just can't fathom admitting to everyone that I have a problem because I don't wish to appear weak. I should be able to drink socially like everyone else. I know that it is common for people my age to dabble in excess, I mean hey, College right? But the truth is I am afraid of further developing into a full on drinking machine. Like I said its already been a few years of heavy drinking, and to put things into perspective, I am 5' 11" and only 125 lbs, rarely eat, and can put away a 5th of whiskey in a few hours. I know that typically my peers would brag about that, but I don't want it anymore.
I am really going to try and see what a sober life is like. Since I've never seriously tried, I hope it'll be easy and not prove that I really am addicted.
Anyway, HI.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome Kafka 
I don't think 21 is too young to be aware you might have a problem. I know I did but I just decided to go la la la la la until it got to a point where I had to quit. I had my first drink at 12 and liked it way too much, I always knew this would be a problem for me.
Whatever you end up doing you will definitely learn a lot by being here x
I don't think 21 is too young to be aware you might have a problem. I know I did but I just decided to go la la la la la until it got to a point where I had to quit. I had my first drink at 12 and liked it way too much, I always knew this would be a problem for me.
Whatever you end up doing you will definitely learn a lot by being here
x
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome Kafka - I predict you'll like it here. It's so good to be able to share with people who truly understand what you're going through.
Like Hypo, I knew at a young age I wasn't a normal drinker. It was so much fun in the beginning, I refused to consider changing my ways. I told myself I'd cut down 'some day'. Well, the some day was when I hit my 50's. The 'progressive disease' turned my life into chaos. I'll spare you the war stories, but you are doing the right thing by addressing this now!
Like Hypo, I knew at a young age I wasn't a normal drinker. It was so much fun in the beginning, I refused to consider changing my ways. I told myself I'd cut down 'some day'. Well, the some day was when I hit my 50's. The 'progressive disease' turned my life into chaos. I'll spare you the war stories, but you are doing the right thing by addressing this now!
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Hi Kafka. Welcome to SR. You're going to be under a ton of social pressure. Are you willing to a life totally free of alcohol? I'm 31 so i kind of understand being relatively young and having to "lose out" on all those years of "fun drinking." Bleh. I now consider myself to be deathly allergic to alcohol and treat it as such. I keep a few excuses in my back pocket for social occasions ("i'm driving tonight. I don't care for the taste. I have to get up early. I just don't care for the stuff. I'm watching my weight. I'm on medication and can't drink.") and bring my own nonalcoholic drinks to parties. Total abstinence from alcohol is all that is working for me. Good luck and i hope you find the support you need here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: In the studio
Posts: 16
Hello all, glad to be here.
Grits, I am aware that these are supposedly the best and healthiest years of a person's life. Everyone around downs a case of beer and its fine because its what is supposed to be done on the weekends. The social pressure is hard on everyone. But I know, as well as you do, that for people like us, alcohol isn't a social thing. It's a selfish thing. I am slowly realizing my problem and how alcohol has affected my life so far.
I am afraid I can't behave like my friends and people my age. Its every night, and while most of my peers will slow down and move on into responsible lives after college, I know its a habit for me.
I was kicked out of college because I chose to drink every night instead of studying and doing my school work. I lost a job because I was hung over every day(sometimes still drunk from the night before), and now I've been borrowing money from my mom and drinking my lady's alcohol supply while looking for a job.
I'm afraid completely refraining from drinking looks to be the only option for me. I have registered and been ( miraculously ) accepted into another college and will start attending in August. I am determined to find a job and hopefully as I remain sober, my attitude toward work and life in general will change.
Thanks for the advice and
Grits, I am aware that these are supposedly the best and healthiest years of a person's life. Everyone around downs a case of beer and its fine because its what is supposed to be done on the weekends. The social pressure is hard on everyone. But I know, as well as you do, that for people like us, alcohol isn't a social thing. It's a selfish thing. I am slowly realizing my problem and how alcohol has affected my life so far.
I am afraid I can't behave like my friends and people my age. Its every night, and while most of my peers will slow down and move on into responsible lives after college, I know its a habit for me.
I was kicked out of college because I chose to drink every night instead of studying and doing my school work. I lost a job because I was hung over every day(sometimes still drunk from the night before), and now I've been borrowing money from my mom and drinking my lady's alcohol supply while looking for a job.
I'm afraid completely refraining from drinking looks to be the only option for me. I have registered and been ( miraculously ) accepted into another college and will start attending in August. I am determined to find a job and hopefully as I remain sober, my attitude toward work and life in general will change.
Thanks for the advice and
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Kafka
Not drinking at all was my only option too - I had a toxic relationship with alcohol that was stopping me from being who I knew I could be.
I've never regretted that decision - I only wish I'd made it at age 21, and not 40
welcome to SR
D
Not drinking at all was my only option too - I had a toxic relationship with alcohol that was stopping me from being who I knew I could be.
I've never regretted that decision - I only wish I'd made it at age 21, and not 40
welcome to SR
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: In the studio
Posts: 16
thanks. I have been at the arcade area for a while. Bored out of my mind today. Its entertaining on a rainy day with nothing to do but read and surf the net.
I was a little nervous and afraid I'd be judged for coming here and addressing these issues at my age. I know I haven't been through nearly as much as a lot of people here, and I don't have the life experience that most have, but it feels good to be open and honest about what I am thinking.
I was a little nervous and afraid I'd be judged for coming here and addressing these issues at my age. I know I haven't been through nearly as much as a lot of people here, and I don't have the life experience that most have, but it feels good to be open and honest about what I am thinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
This is the one place you won't get judged Kafka Everyone has a different experience and you don't have to hit rock bottom to get out of the cycle. There are actually a few people younger than you on here too x
Everyone has a different experience and you don't have to hit rock bottom to get out of the cycle. There are actually a few people younger than you on here too x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 438
Hi Kafka & welcome!
You are not too young to realize you may have an issue with alcohol. I'm 32 but I go to young people's AA meeting once a week & I've met some neat teenagers - like 15/16/17 years old that are sober & even have time (years) to show for it. Its a little strange to sit in a meeting with kids that are only a couple years older than my oldest son, but I definitely learn alot from them
You are not too young to realize you may have an issue with alcohol. I'm 32 but I go to young people's AA meeting once a week & I've met some neat teenagers - like 15/16/17 years old that are sober & even have time (years) to show for it. Its a little strange to sit in a meeting with kids that are only a couple years older than my oldest son, but I definitely learn alot from them
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: LA, California
Posts: 372
Welcome dude! I think we're the youngsters here. It's never too early to start sobriety. I too started drinking at a young age, had my first beer at 15. It was all down hill from there. 8 years later I think about where it got me, it held me back from doing so much. 1pm after a hangover!? That's early, I'd be up no earlier than 5, and I'd hit the bottle as soon as I was up. Good job realizing it now, rather than later. Keep coming back to SR, it really does help more than you'd imagine, so many people here who have the same thing in common.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 405
Hi Kafka,
You are certainly not alone here in being young. I have found there to be a wide range of people willing to offer wisdom. It is certainly not weak to confront your demons. I drank daily through college/university the first time and failed. I drank through the second time too but passed. I knew all the time I would have to give it up one day.
Glad to have you here, I look forward to reading more of your posts
You are certainly not alone here in being young. I have found there to be a wide range of people willing to offer wisdom. It is certainly not weak to confront your demons. I drank daily through college/university the first time and failed. I drank through the second time too but passed. I knew all the time I would have to give it up one day.
Glad to have you here, I look forward to reading more of your posts
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