One Size Does Not Fit All
I have had a sponsor for about a month. She had me read a section of the big book and highlight passages that resonate with me. SR members had posted on "Steps by the Big Book" which is an excellent workbook on working the steps. So, yesterday to expound upon my highlights I decided to use the workbook to really think about certain passages. My sponsor told me not to use the workbook, only do what she tells me and what her sponsor had told her. This advice bothered me. I was trying to use any and every tools available to me. I don't believe there is a one size fits all to recovering from alcoholism. I like the practical advice here on SR and overwhelming support, but feel I also need face to face support. The only advice I get from my sponsor is to pray, don't drink and go to meetings. It is effective for me to "think things through" to cope with urges and re-read my posts. I have been told that I am trying to "intellectualize things" and a psychic change needs to take place.
I always thought one of the best bits of advice I ever got in AA was to ask myself if a particular person had what I wanted before following their lead on anything.
So, in evaluating this situation, I'd suggest asking yourself if you, one day, want to be the type of sponsor who would tell a sponsee not to use recovery materials she is finding helpful, or who would tell a sponsee to listen ONLY to her. It would be entirely reasonable for you to decide that you do not want to be such a person down the road, and therefore that you do not want to follow her lead. It would also be entirely reasonable for you to decide you want to change sponsors.
So, in evaluating this situation, I'd suggest asking yourself if you, one day, want to be the type of sponsor who would tell a sponsee not to use recovery materials she is finding helpful, or who would tell a sponsee to listen ONLY to her. It would be entirely reasonable for you to decide that you do not want to be such a person down the road, and therefore that you do not want to follow her lead. It would also be entirely reasonable for you to decide you want to change sponsors.
All,
Thank you for the responses! She must have been having a bad hair day because when I brought it up - she told me to use any materials that I found helpful in my recovery.
Thank you for the responses! She must have been having a bad hair day because when I brought it up - she told me to use any materials that I found helpful in my recovery.
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