Time to Stop... Again
 

My drinking at its worst was almost a year and a half ago. I was drinking about 20 drinks daily. Lost the job, the fiance, the apartment, the whole sha-bang. After drinking through Antabuse, getting shots of Vivitrol to no avail, and being uninspired through AA meetings, one day I decided I had enough, took matters into my own hands and just stopped.

I didn't have a drop if booze for just over 2 months. I think I was much luckier than most people during this period as strong cravings and bizarre dreams were the only negative side-effects I experienced.

I started drinking again recreationally. A beer at the baseball game. A Guinness with dinner. You know how that goes. Now I'm drinking 5 days a week again, stopping at that friggin store after work every day. I get constipated when I don't drink so I tell myself I'll have 4 beers so I can "go" and well, I haven't successfully stopped at 4 beers yet.

I'm beginning to do fun things when I'm black-out drunk again like texting the ex-girlfriend who's heart I broke with my drinking and crashing into the back wall of the garage when I pull my car in. Its absolutely ridiculous and most of the time when I drink I don't even want to be drinking.

So its time to stop again. I clearly shouldn't be drinking. I'm just looking for a place to talk out loud and keep a day count.

Thanks.

Good for you! Gotta love how it always starts with a drink here and a drink there... Almost like we can fool ourselves to believe this time is different, or even worse, not think of it at all. I too am a drunk texter -- always texting the people who don't even want to hear from me sober -- let alone wasted. I get to the point that if I actually go a night without doing it, I'm proud of myself. There are rarely nights I don't drunk text. I can just imagine how you feel.

Buy yourself some raisin brand and keep it going! :) Be proud of giving it another go, you can make it!

I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.

It's great that you were able to stop drinking for two months. I wonder what other changes you made in your life in those months, aside from stopping drinking? Hopefully this time you can make the changes you will need, in order to recover.