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I don't understand

Old 05-23-2012, 06:15 PM
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I don't understand

this is what my beautiful wife said to me when I drank for the fourth night straight last night. She wasn't mad. She just stared at the bottles like one might stare at a ghost. And she really doesn't understand. I think that is how I know that I am so very different from others. There is nothing I can do to make her understand. Even well educated (in alcoholism) normal drinkers will never be able to understand the powerful influence we are under. much like being under a spell. This is one of the many realizations that I am using to keep nudging myself to the correct side of the fence. I am proud of trying. I will keep trying. I will not let slip ups derail me or get me down. today I ran 5 miles, mowed the lawn. Also, if all the iced tea I drank today had alcohol in it I would be dead. hey, at least maybe it killed off a tumor. Off to bed. I love sober sleep. so many dreams to be had. Good night everyone. Stay strong.

Wonder
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Old 05-23-2012, 06:21 PM
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I know exactly what you mean.....my brother was an alcoholic and drug user and I never understood why he couldn't just stop. It wasn't until a couple of years after his death that I developed my own problem. Now I understand.
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Old 05-23-2012, 06:29 PM
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It does sometimes feel like a spell or a curse, but we hold the power to unlock its grip on us. We have the key, we just need to find it and use it. In my unmanageable life, I spend have my time looking for my car keys, much less the keys to the kingdom!
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Old 05-23-2012, 06:33 PM
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i am willing to bet you are no different than me or millions of other alcoholics who have recovered from the seemingly hopeless state of mind that made us drink.
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Old 05-23-2012, 06:36 PM
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Never were truer words said tomsteve.

It can be done. Its work, but worth every minute.
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Old 05-23-2012, 06:37 PM
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I've found it impossible to explain to the normies. That's why I value SR so very much.

You'll get it right, Wonder. We have faith in you.
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Old 05-23-2012, 06:39 PM
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Yes, I think we all find that it's so helpful to come here, where others understand what we're going through.
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Old 05-23-2012, 06:43 PM
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Many, many alkies only drink at night. You aren't alone. Do you have plans to stop and to stay stopped?
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:01 PM
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I never understood my dad's drinking growing up. I remember he would come home from a long day in the office and say he "earned" it. I always thought what a ****** reward for a hard days work. Now, I get it. Apple definitely doesn't fall far from the tree.
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